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February 02, 2010
Obligatory Generic Oscar Nomination Report
Banal lede setting up The Hurt Locker vs. Avatar. Obligatory remark on former marital status. Inevitable and noncommittal response. Diffident pun, like "battle of the exes," inadvertently revealing lack of buffering layer of editors. Lazy comparison of Biblical small man opposing giant ogre. Team Na'vi vs. Team Bomb Squad. Blue vs. Green. Ten Best Picture nominees are too cold, ten Best Picture nominees are too hot, ten Best Picture nominees are just right. Spreading the wealth. Gratitude expressed that The Hangover and G-Force were not nominated. It was the best of years, it was the worst of 
years. Supplied quotes embedded in narrative. Generic transitions hastily constructed for rapid web posting. Directors exclaim on how they're all buddies in the clubhouse. Lee Daniels says "Girlfriend." Allusions to prior references to Inglourious Basterds and A Serious Man as anti-Semitic, or conversely, or perversely, "good for the Jews." Obligatory hint that the writer considers Avatar a sweeping allegory, a wizened tract, the rebirth of the moviegoing experience or the death of cinema, coupled with The Hurt Locker as anti-war film, as pro-war film, as failed screencraft or as transcendent filmmaking, or as a dazzling feat of balancing all, or none. Anecdote relayed of being awakened or of being unable to sleep or preparing right this minute for a nap. Resignation feigned over odds-on favorites Waltz and Mo'Nique. Mention of nods the writer would have preferred, such as bright Stanley Tucci for Julie & Julia instead of dark Stanley Tucci in Lovely Bones. Gnashing over Moon's eclipse or Summer Hours' tabling. Staid rendition of "How 'bout that Sandra Bullock?" Invocation of personal déjà vu, ennui or anomie over the plethora of preceding award events. Attempt at oblique implication that the writer is above it all, or intrigued only by how wrong everyone else is, or how the awards are now more populist or not quite yet populist, or it's what my editors think you, dear reader, most want to wallow in or feel superior to. Wry footnote noting Oscar 2011 is only thirteen months away.
Posted by Ray Pride at February 2, 2010 02:13 PM
Comments
Very Schizopolis.
Posted by: cinemascopian ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.mcnblogs.com/mcindie/nav-commenters.gif)
at February 3, 2010 04:51 AM
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