The Reeler

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January 05, 2006

Stern's Wack Pack Dooms 2006 with 'Supertwink' Premiere

How do you know when it is a slow movie week in New York? It pretty much comes down to the moment you realize the only premiere in town is a Howard Stern-produced, gay superhero epic called Supertwink.

Pink carpets. $700 production budgets. Relentless ball-busting. Indeed, that was the scene Wednesday at the Pioneer Theater, where The Reeler and a good-sized chunk of Stern's Wack Pack dropped by for a viewing of Supertwink and an apparent lack of anything better to do. I mean, of course filmmakers Richard Christy and Sal "The Stockbroker" Governale have much to be proud of (it is not every day Richard Roeper reviews a film by shouting the question, "What the fuck were you thinking?"), but by the time J.D. Harmeyer's title character has killed his archenemy Dr. Hetero with an 18-inch strap-on and a stuffed gerbil has been sacrificed for an emotionally scarring (if not somewhat genuine) laugh, a viewer could be forgiven for wondering where his or her life went so, so wrong.

"Oh, I don't know. I thought it turned out great," Stern stalwart High-Pitch Eric told me afterward in his typically scrotum-pinched fashion. Eric, one of God-knows-how-many fat, fearless Wack Packers to appear onscreen in a G-string and body glitter, portrayed Supertwink's "evil" Dr. Hetero. Roeper called his work the "worst performance in movie history," but just before I could solicit Eric's defense, the omnipresent Stern on Demand camera crew yanked him away (Supertwink launches on the new cable channel this week).

Obviously, my story never quite recovered--I fled the scene in terror not long afterward, hands in pockets, lamenting the things we do to cover cinema in early January. Nevertheless, it could have been worse; I figure Lionsgate still owes me 95 minutes of my life (plus interest) for sitting through Hostel.

Posted by stvanairsdale at January 5, 2006 09:55 AM

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Comments

Posted by: William at January 5, 2006 03:29 PM

Posted by: adam at August 11, 2006 10:07 AM