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February 10, 2006
'Brokeback' Shirts, Diesel's Pants and Six Other Decisions You Just Never Want to Have to Make
OK, so at 8 p.m., a children's charity in Los Angeles is going to kick off an auction in which you can bid on the actual bloody, scuzzy shirts that get Heath Ledger all messed up at the end of Brokeback Mountain. "Everyone who has watched this movie--the biggest hit among this year's Best Picture Oscar nominees--knows the emotional significance and impact of these shirts in this unforgettable film," squeals the press release, presaging (if not outright guaranteeing) a weekend of spendy gay madness.
Yeah, I know those are the Brokeback shirts. But Vin Diesel's ass was right... there... (Photos: Variety--The Children's Charity)
However, before you go stealing a car stereo or robbing a bodega, a little investigation reveals that this charity is giving us an awfully tough selection of other items to choose from as well:
--ANNAPOLIS SIGNED DIRECTOR'S CHAIR - JAMES FRANCO + MORE
--AUTOGRAPHED PHOTO FROM JUST LIKE HEAVEN - JON HEDER
--ANNAPOLIS - AUTOGRAPHED POSTER - TYRESE GIBSON + MORE
--2 SHOWEST ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY CONVENTION TICKETS
--ATTEND A VIP TAPING OF REBA - MEET THE CAST UP TO 4 PPL
--MOTOCROSS PANTS WORN BY VIN DIESEL WHILE FILMING XXX
--THE RINGER AUTOGRAPHED POSTER - JOHNNY KNOXVILLE + MORE
You know there must be another press release not too far behind imploring buyers to consider the "emotional significance" of Jon Heder's autograph, or to remember the wrenching lost climax of XXX: Uncensored and Interminable Director's Cut--the one during which Augustus Gibbons slides open a desk drawer to reveal Xander Cage's delicately folded motocross pants, pats them, sniffs them, whispers, "Triple X, you sweet, sweet motherfucker," under his breath before lurching out into the tumbleweed flatlands of Washington. See? Huh? Not so fast on those shirts, right?
Anyway, you have until 8 p.m. on Monday, Feb. 20, to think about it, but speaking from experience, you are going to want to start selling crack, sex, blood plasma etc. a hell of a lot sooner than that to raise this kind of cash.
Posted by stvanairsdale at February 10, 2006 07:22 PM
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