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August 31, 2005

The Next "Next New Thing"

While you are done with your Sprinkles cupcake, take a walk around the corner (you need it) to HannSpree, the giant new near-empty storefront on Beverly Drive and get a whiff of the future.

These guys are a little off the mark, but very close to the next big thing in home computing and decorating... theme monitors. They still produce primarily regular televisions, which I don't see catching on beyond the bedrooms of very wealthy children and kitchens. The TVs are rather small by today's standards and I doubt that many people want a 52" baseball TV in their living room.

But as they realize that the market for themed monitors is quite real and that a couple of hundred-dollar premium for a really cool monitor is very viable, their business should take off.

Take a look...

Posted by poland at 07:16 PM | Comments (104)

The Festival Blog Starts Its Life

First review... wish it was a better movie...

Posted by poland at 07:00 AM | Comments (30)

Uh....

A Reuters/Holywood Reporter headline says, "Oteri switching teams for 'Southland Tales'.

With due respect to a talented woman, shouldn't the headline be "Oteri works!" or "The Rock and Seann William Scott Reunite" or even "We Really Have Nothing Else To Write... Sorry."

Posted by poland at 03:11 AM | Comments (18)

Okay, Creative Ones...

Looking for the best 25 word take on Paul Haggis' version of James Bond?

Posted by poland at 03:05 AM | Comments (64)

August 29, 2005

About Katie's Boys...

If you're interested, my Hot Button today mentioned: "Four Brothers, I am amazed to say, is a good, old fashioned time at the movies. It is so clearly a The Sons of Katie Elder rip-off, coming out of the studio that owns Katie Elder, that it is surprising not to see any credit to the original, though the studio had it slated as a remake as late as last November. I don't know what the issue is, but my guess is that it has something to do with the very, very difficult and demanding estate of John Wayne, which may well have remake rights that allow the Waynes to vet production choices. Regardless, John Singleton and the youthful credited writers - David Elliot and Paul Lovett - did a nice job of maintaining the spirit of the original while adapting the whole notion to the modern era."

That lead to a reader e-mail that pointed out the writers claiming "they'd never seen Elder until after the movie was done" in a Creative Screenwriting podcast interview.

But meanwhile, ln a "New Paramount" story in Variety last November 7, this appeared: "The rest of 2005 includes remakes of "Bad News Bears," "Last Holiday" and "The Sons of Katie Elder"; and TV-based projects "Aeon Flux" and "The Honeymooners.""

So...

Posted by poland at 07:00 PM | Comments (69)

What Deadwood Is to Cursing

Rome is to graphic sex... endless, graphic nudity and sex.

Remember when Polly Walker was just sexy? Now we'll all be expecting her and her 40something implants to have sex with a live animal by episode 3.

How can she not? Her first appearance in the show is fully front, mid-fornication, followed by a bad, followed by being covering in animal blood in a see through frock... oy yoy yoy yoy yoy...

I can't decide if this show is actually good... but man, it is the raunchiest thing I've seen on TV for a while.

Posted by poland at 06:13 AM | Comments (29)

Great V-sar's Ghost!

James Purefoy, the guy playing Marc Antony in HBO's new show, Rome, is the guy who ended up being let go from the role of V, replaced by Hugo Weaving, in V for Vendetta.

Posted by poland at 02:03 AM | Comments (12)

August 28, 2005

Sunday Box Office Analysis

ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz......

Posted by poland at 06:40 PM | Comments (38)

August 27, 2005

Early Box Office Analysis - 8/27

The Brothers Grimm, which dumped its pretense of being a Terry Gilliam movie (except for people who read newspapers… tee hee) a few weeks ago and went with a straight action sell, is on pace to be this weekend’s Skeleton Key or Red Eye. Coming in at a price substantially higher than either of the other films, that is not a huge win, but it’s a lot better than going direct-to-video too.

Friday-To-Friday, The 40 Year Old Virgin is off just 33% after racking up $32 million in its first 7 days. The hold is not as strong as Wedding Crashers, but if Virgin can maintain the 60% pace to WV that it is on, Universal will be downright giddy over a $100 million-plus gross for the film.

Red Eye is off 40%, which is not bad… how much opening day influenced what was a flat Friday-to-Saturday last weekend we will know by the end of the weekend. But the film is on pace to pass The Island’s total domestic gross by the middle of next week.

With no stars and an unclear name, The Cave went under the ground with an opening not quite up to The Medallion standards.

Penguins is down about 27%… which is a lot for that film. Regardless, the film will pass $55 million this weekend, will surely pass $60 million and could still get to $70 million. Expect Warner Indie to remain as silent as possible until they are forced to announce an inevitable Thanksgiving DVD release date. Perhaps P2 will be set up for an announcement by then too.

Overall, a weekend as boring at the box office as it is at the theaters.

Early Friday Estimates
1. The Brothers Grimm - $5.8m - $5.2m
2. The 40 Year Old Virgin - $4.7m - $37.2m
3. Red Eye - $3.4m - $25.9m
4. Four Brothers - $2.1m - $49.3m
5. The Dukes Of Hazzard - $2m - $73.1m
6. The Cave - $2.0m - $2.0m
7. Wedding Crashers - $1.8m - $182.8m
8. The Skeleton Key - $1.4m - $34.7m
9. March O' Penguins - $1.3m - $52.5m
10. Valiant - $1m - $9.1m

Posted by poland at 08:36 PM | Comments (24)

Here's An Idea...

... inspired by Stella's Boy...

What if there was a THX for theater service?

Remember, THX wasn't a specific hardware package, but a standard bearer.

What if a theater offered PMS - Premium Movie Service... ushers that ushered and threw people out... a 2 minute guarantee at the concessions stand... info about the commercial schedule so you could see what you like or skip it if you like…. Reserved seats for evening weekend shows or on request (unlike the bizarre required seating arrangements at Arclight that are just irritating when the movie is half empty)…

What other ideas do you have?

I think this could actually happen… without an increase in ticket prices. If you have a choice in your market, wouldn’t you choose to go to the theater that holds standards?

Posted by poland at 06:20 PM | Comments (26)

It's Hot...

Sorry to leave you guys to your own devices...

Posted by poland at 02:55 AM | Comments (20)

August 25, 2005

The Rest Of The Story, 2005...

The lost portion of The Scarlett Johansson 911 Transcript follows:

"I'm Scarlett Johansson, an actor... no, The Island was not my fault... do you know how much press I got for fondling Benecio del Toro in an elevator and they couldn't open that movie... yes... no, just fondling... he had a sore... exactly! if I'm not a big enough star to open The Island, why are these paparazzi following me to Disneyland... okay, but only if you send the police now... 'What am I, Scarlett Johnasson, doing after personally shutting down Steven Spielberg's studio? I'm going to Disneyland!'... thanks... are they on the way?... yeah, I got special passes from Jeffrey... yes, they're real... are you still recording this?"

Posted by poland at 06:25 PM | Comments (28)

August 24, 2005

Fear & Loathing In The Critics Chair

It's funny (Not really.) When I saw that Stephen Hunter of The Washington Post was writing on “the dirty secret” of The Aristocrats, I assumed it was going to be “the black thing” again. See, the black comics aren’t in the movie. And Provenza & Jillette explained the problem quite well on NPR the other day… different comedy circuit = different traditions. This joke came from vaudeville, which was white. And many of the black comics they talked to, they say, found the joke uninteresting since Redd Foxx and others were pushing those boundaries publicly for many years and didn’t have to hide it like a bunch of teenaged white boys from the suburbs.

Nonetheless… it turns out that Hunter went way, way, way out of his way to get to a different punchline. He decides to psychoanalyze all comics by making this joke about the comics’ contempt for their audiences… for squareness (snap, snap)… for “that regular place most of us would call the world.”

Let’s drive right by the idea that Stephen Hunter, Washington Post film critic, probably hasn’t seen the place that most people call the world in a long, long time. (Few of us who have any success as pundits have.) But let’s extend his metaphor. What does this piece say about Stephen Hunter’s feeling about the people he covers? After all, comics can’t be the only miscreants in the world of entertainment. Actors and filmmakers are entertainers too, no?

So what does it mean when a critic goes out of his way to explain that the people who are there to entertain you really hate you? Is that not a call for audiences to return the hate? After all, he is saying that those comics are tricking you into laughing at yourself, no?

Hunter is not afraid of going the extra yard…

“For the comics, life is lived onstage, in the limelight, to the love and applause of anonymous crowds. It involves a great deal of travel, friendships with other gifted, crazed people but just as frequently, bitter rivalries, endless feuds, treachery and betrayal. If you win, you win the power of fame, which after the second day gets you nothing but good tables in restaurants where rubes bother you for autographs as you suck down your linguini, the right to fail with a better class of woman and, of course, the emptiness of being unconnected to anything larger than the self.

Boy, that's some act. Whadaya call that act?

The losers.”

So… comics are losers. Period. Big exclamation mark

So what does that make “the rubes” who enjoy them? I mean, if Hunter hates comics, how must he feel about people who like comics? Not only rubes, but self-hating rubes at that.

And what do you call that act?

"A lot of critics today who have lost perspective on the bottom line of criticism... that it is opinion, however well or poorly educated."

Thanks for the gumball, Popeye.

Posted by poland at 04:33 PM | Comments (54)

My First Toronto List

Here

Posted by poland at 08:04 AM | Comments (37)

Where Have You Gone, Jack Valenti?

If the endless droning about “The Slump,” which continues once more in The New York Times, which is clearly more amused by the paranoid than by the studios that have had a fine summer and offer some sane perspective, has show one thing that no one talks about, it is that Dan Glickman is no Jack Valenti.

Valenti was hated by some as the face of the big movie business, but his duel role of Washington lobbyist and public shit (and name) taker was critical to the growth of the film business over nearly 40 years. Dan Glickman, who took over his job, is probably an excellent lobbyist. But in the face of endless, selfish, destructive excuse making by a lot of studio executives who suffered primarily from their own bad decisions this summer, Glickman has not done what would seem an inevitability from Valenti…to take the lead in getting the industry-wide story straight.

You cold call him a cheerleader, but we are still less than $250 million away from 2005 being the second highest grossing year in box office history. When “The Slump” declined as a cudgel, outlets like the New York Times suddenly discovered “admissions,” which are not actually compiled week by week by Exhibitor Relations or anyone else, just estimated based on historical figures for ticket prince increases. There is some indication that the rise in ticket prices is being overestimated this season. But whatever… no point in debating that. The point it, any way to make the attack as harsh as possible is taken. Any good stat is pushed aside and conveniently forgotten. And frankly, I am bored with being one of the few people out there who continues to make the case for the non-slump.

This is Dan Glickman’s job… and he’s not doing it.

Of course, the guy works for the studios and some of the studios like having “The Slump” to blame for their fuck ups. And there is a real argument inside the studios about what the next direction will be. There is, of course, no real need for a big change. But “The Slump” Provides an excuse for making change for change’s sake.

Mince no words… if your big action movie opened to less than half of The Duke of Hazzard, the failure is on your studio’s head… from production to marketing and all. That doesn’t mean that a big success won’t come next. Everyone can and will fail. But the finger-pointing is excruciating. Move along. You all have busy fall seasons coming.

You want to know the factor that seems to have had the biggest effect on box office this year… too much originality… as in, not enough sequels and not the right sequels. So keep on screaming as the industry goes further in the direction that every writer screams about.

But nothing I say will much matter. We can look forward to more blame gaming throughout the year… at least until November and December blockbusters create a turnaround that reporters uninterested in the facts can take credit for as they have “The Slump.” What a proud day that will be.

Posted by poland at 07:51 AM | Comments (13)

Still Slow...

Anyone have anything they want to talk about?

Posted by poland at 03:07 AM | Comments (26)

August 22, 2005

Slow News Week

A sneak peek at tomorrow's Hot Button...

"What went so wrong with The Brothers Grimm and Proof?

It’s not a happy situation. Terry Gilliam is one of the most original and talented directors of his generation. John Madden is a solid filmmaker and a tasteful, smart man. Madden actually has it easier here. He will keep working, regardless of this blemish. Gilliam, on the other hand, attracts trouble and this film, which can not redeem itself by being as interesting as other films he’s made that haven’t done well at the box office, is another nail in the coffin from which he is endlessly crawling.

Both films have source materials that simply fail to offer a real opportunity to make a film that works. In the case of Proof, the problem is that it is based on a stage play that got most of its power from being on stage. It is easy to see how certain big emotional moments would have been mesmerizing on stage… but on film, the already increased intimacy of the form makes big emotions pay smaller dividends.

As for The Brothers Grimm, I have just two words of clarity… Ehren Kruger."

Posted by poland at 09:01 PM | Comments (45)

The Conspiracy Against The NYT Continues!

I'm just going to link to this... you tell me.

Mark Cuban Meets Andrew Ross Sorkin

Posted by poland at 05:39 AM | Comments (16)

August 21, 2005

Sunday Estimates - 8/21

The only August release ever to make it to $100 million that opened after the first weekend of the month was American Pie 2… and Universal didn’t make that release date blunder the third time, going to the first of the month. The third in the series opened about 30% behind the second and totaled out about the same amount off…. But it got to $100 million on the strength of that first weekend of the month.

That said, while Red Eye and The 40 Year Old Virgin were both probably doomed to smaller than possible numbers by release date, both films will be financial successes as they pass $50 million and potentially get up into the 70s or even 80s.

Did you know that The Brothers Grimm will, on opening weekend, be Terry Gilliam’s widest release ever? (Of course, he hasn’t had a movie released in seven years, missing the era of the wiiiiiiide release.) The film, which is a disaster, is really the only thing in the way of a nice leggy run for both good word-of-mouth titles. The Cave should do business next weekend, but it is very niche.

The funny thing is that if DreamWorks can get the word out, I think that Red Eye can play with adults pretty well. It’s very old school in an odd way. Now that they have reviews and word of mouth, the original campaign, that was more Hitchcockian (not Hitchcock, but Hitchcockian), might start working. They could subtitle it Strangers On A Plane for Boca Raton and see if it rattles some dentures. “Grandma… that nice girl from The Notebook is in trouble!”

Wedding Crashers could hit $200 million. F-ing amazing. It passed There’s Something About Mary as the second highest grossing R Rated comedy this weekend and it will put Pretty Woman in the rear view this week, making it the highest grossing R rated comedy in history. (It will not catch Beverly Hills Cop, but I’m not sure we qualify that purely in the comedy genre.) Who needs Lord of the Rings?

People have been asking about the international/domestic split on The Island, as international business has already doubled domestic. I don’t have a specific answer, but a source that knows tells me that the norm for WB split deals is that they split all costs and revenues with partners. If that is true here, there is a real chance that DreamWorks’ loss on the film will be less than the first $50 million-plus estimates. But that won’t keep the sale from happening.

March of The Penguins really has become a phenom, surely in no small part because the media has marked it as a phenom for week after week. The 4% drop estimate this weekend suggests that the film will almost definitely get into the 70s and could threaten to close in on $100 million if the string can be played out long enough. I don’t think we’ll hear a DVD announcement because even if it continues to play strong, I imagine the film will end up in homes for Christmas. The “must have” family DVD opportunity will probably be too tempting for Warner Home Entertainment. WB continues to have a problem (the kind everyone wants to have) with this film playing opposite Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, which I assume will also be a holiday DVD release, along with the DVD of The Polar Express, which will also get a couple of weeks in IMAX for the holiday. It is an embarrassment of family DVD riches for Warners, with Disney offering only Herbie: Fully Loaded and Sky High, DreamWorks with Madagascar and no new Pixar title. If I were Disney, I’d have at least one “real wilderness” title, updated and narrated by James Earl Jones, on DVD for the holiday.

Grizzly Man, which is one of the great films of this year, got the bird at the box office this weekend, with an unimpressive $250,000 on 51 screens. Lions Gate really pushed hard, but I guess people are more charmed by the death of an egg than by the death of an odd bird.

And Broken Flowers is now the highest grossing Jim Jarmusch film of all time. Thanks, Bill Murray.

The 40 Year Old Virgin - 20.7 (7,260) - 20.7
Red Eye - 16.8 (5,450) - 16.8
Four Brothers - 12.3 (4,650) - 42% - 43
Wedding Crashers - 8.4 (2,870) - 29% - 178
The Skeleton Key - 7.4 (2,650) - 54% - 30.1
March of the Penguins - 6.6 (3,130) - 4% - 49.2
Valiant - 6.2 (2,880) - 6.2
The Dukes of Hazzard - 5.6 (1,650) - 57% - 68.7
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - 4.4 (1,710) - 41% - 192.6
Sky High - 4.0 (1,970) - 37% - 50.8
Deuce Bigalo: European Gigolo - 3.5 (1,110) - 64% - 17
Must Love Dogs - 2.3 (1,270) - 50% - 39.1
Broken Flowers - 2.2 (5,590) - 27% - 5.8
The Great Raid - 1.6 (1,790) - 51% - 6.4
Supercross - 1.4 (840) - 2
War of the Worlds - 1.1 (1,500) - 50% - 230.6
Fantastic Four - 1.0 (1,170) - 56% - 150.7
Batman Begins - .63 (1,590) - 40% - 202.3
The Aristocrats - ..62 (3,600) - 28% - 2.7
Stealth - .57 (810) - 74% - 31.2

(The link to the Bridget Byrne story, as found by Martin.)

Posted by poland at 07:04 PM | Comments (35)

Revisting Ms. McAdams Before The Notebook Hit

I actually did a sit down with McAdams sometime last summer, but I don't know whether I ever wrote about it. But as recently as a few months ago, I seem to recall being mocked for picking her as one to bet on. Here is the piece from May 2004... the first blush of what seems obvious now.

And just wait until you see her in another different yet similar (definition of a movie star) supporting role, expertly chosen and chased, in The Family Stone...

Posted by poland at 05:51 PM | Comments (11)

August 20, 2005

Very Bloggerific

There is an exchange that stretches out over the last two weeks of the NYT Sunday Book Review between Richard Posner and NYT Exec Editor Bill Keller. (Posner's original piece is here and Keller's response is the second "Letter To The Editor" here.)

Posner suggests that news outlets that lean left or right (and he seems to think that all outlets do) are both lowering standards and leaning further in "their" direction because of increased competition. Keller disagrees.

Posner attempts an intellectual pose and often overreaches. Keller speaks more to the soul of journalism and, in light of some choices his paper has made recently, also oversells a bit, though a die-hard romantic, I would lean towards his argument over Posner's... though Posner's should be taken very, very, very seriously even if it makes too many assumptions.

Ironically and tellingly, right next to Keller's letter in which he writes, "We are unquestionably in the business of satisfying a customer demand, but our customers — both readers and advertisers — come to us precisely in the expectation of receiving something 'more elevated or consequential' than cosmetic surgery in Brazil. And we're proud to be able to give it to them," there is an internal promotional device, cleverly conceived to repurpose stories, that is headlined, "Undressing Room" and asks the question, "Nicole Kidman did it. Who's getting naked onstage now?" So I guess Brazilian waxing is more "elevated or consequential" than Brazilian cosmetic surgery.

But beyond that, reading the NYT is going to lead left just as reading the Wall Street Journal will lead right. But looking at individuals at both papers, painting with too big a brush is dangerous.

Still, If Jon Stewart was a righty or perhaps, even a middle-of-the-roader, would be get the boundless media love he gets?

If Frank Rich was a dogged right winger instead of a bomb-throwing left-winger, would he still have a job at the New York Times?

Do any of us believe that the New York Times would publicly apologize for not being hard enough on a Democratic president?

I do love the New York Times. They do what they do well better than pretty much anyone. It is an important enough paper to me that I am willing to put my criticisms on the line, because in its movie industry coverage, it makes far too many missteps. But does it lean left? Of course. What seems to offend Keller – and I’m willing to go with him on this – is the idea that the left leaning is a pose for business purposes and not a part of the heart & soul of the paper. I lean to the latter.

Posted by poland at 08:43 PM | Comments (25)

Is It Just Me Or...

... does Flightplan look like the kind on mid-summer, Harrison Ford thriller that is just exactly what people really love and enjoy... in the end of September of all places...

Posted by poland at 06:46 PM | Comments (27)

Shocking Rotten Tomatoes Report

Tomatometer Report: "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" is the Best Reviewed Film of the Year

Two of this week's wide releases, "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" and "Red Eye," would appear to have little in common. One is a comedy that mixes sentimentality with the profane, and the other is a Hitchcockian thriller aboard a plane. Yet both films are among the best reviewed of the year.

"The 40 Year-Old Virgin," starring Steve Carell as a dork with all the wrong moves, is currently the best reviewed wide release of the year, at 90 percent on the Tomatometer. "Red Eye," Wes Craven's thriller starring Rachel McAdams and Cillian Murphy, is also soaring; at 83 percent, it's the fourth-best reviewed film of the year. "Red Eye" is just behind "Cinderella Man," at 84 percent, and "Batman Begins" at 83 percent. Rounding out the top five is "Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith," at 82 pecent.

There have been 82 wide releases in 2005 (we're not including films that start in limited release and slowly move wide, like "Kung Fu Hustle" and "March of the Penguins"). Here's the list of the best reviewed so far:

Best Reviewed Films of the Year with Wide Release Debuts

-------------------------------------------------------------

(Does not include films with platform releases)

1. The 40-Year Old Virgin - 90%, 102 Reviews
2. Cinderella Man - 84%, 171 Reviews
3. Batman Begins - 83%, 217 Reviews
4. Red Eye - 83%, 101 Reviews
5. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith - 82%, 229 Reviews
6. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - 82%, 185 Reviews
7. The Sisterhood of Traveling Pants - 82%, 105 Reviews
8. Hustle & Flow - 81%, 121 Reviews
9. Sin City - 78%, 212 Reviews
10. Crash - 77%, 154 Reviews
11. Pooh's Heffalump Movie - 76%, 68 Reviews
12. Wedding Crashers - 74%, 151 Reviews
13. George A. Romero's Land of the Dead - 73%, 146 Reviews
14. War of the Worlds - 72%, 218 Reviews
15. Hitch - 68%, 168 Reviews
16. Sky High - 67%, 103 Reviews
17. Unleashed - 66%, 109 Reviews
18. Coach Carter - 65%, 122 Reviews
19. Robots - 63%, 164 Reviews
20. Fever Pitch - 63%, 163 Reviews"

Posted by poland at 06:27 PM | Comments (11)

Early Box Office Analysis – 8/20/05

Both The 40 Year Old Virgin and Red Eye will be behind only Freddy v Jason and Mortal Kombat as the biggest openers in the third weekend of August in history.

Does that seem like splitting hairs? Not to me. The first 10 days of August have become “real” summer release dates, while the rest of the month has lagged behind, in no small part because studious have used it as a dumping ground. But with two strong genre flicks being released in this slot, The Cave and The Brothers Grimm next weekend and Focus taking a big risk with The Constant Gardener on the 31st, late August is moving towards its own legitimacy.

Specifically, The 40 Year Old Virgin will open in the range of both Will Ferrell comedies, slightly behind Monster In Law and only in the dust of The Longest Year and Wedding Crashers. Of course, Wedding Crashers has already made more than 5 times opening, which shows you just what a little word of mouth and some open genre space can do. Even in its sixth weekend, with Deuce Bigalow and Virgin in its way, Crashers will drop in the high 20s or low 30s again this weekend. Take that, you penguins!

Speaking of The Penguins, they passed $40 million on Wednesday and are still going pretty strong. $60 million is now realistic.

Valiant, the odd Disney animation pick-up, is a bit of a failed experiment. I don’t know the financial arrangement Disney made and they didn’t exactly treat the title like it was even Lilo & Stitch II: Here Comes Another Direct to Video Release, but a $7 million weekend probably means that we’ve seen the last of that idea.

Jessica Simpson’s shorts continue to deflate and $85 million for The Dukes of Hazzard is now looking like a reach.

Last weekend’s #1, Four Brothers, which seems to have at least decent word of mouth, will still drop in the high 40s. Perhaps Paramount should be pushing the angle that it’s really a western in an appeal to adult viewers.

Early Friday Numbers
1. 40 Year Old Virgin - $7.3m
2. Red Eye - $6.2m
3. Four Brothers - $3.6m
4. Skeleton Key - $2.5m
5. Wedding Crashers - $2.4m
6. March of the Penguins - $1.9m
7. Valiant - $1.8m
8. Dukes of Hazzard - $1.8m
9. Charlie & Chocolate Factory - $1.3m
10. Sky High - $1.3m

Posted by poland at 05:11 PM | Comments (21)

Sorry

The story about Tom Cruise got squashed and I was stupid to even bring it up before it was actually out if I wasn't going to cough it up myself.

My sincere apologies... not that I think the story is false... just that I made the mistake of ever bringing it up.

Posted by poland at 03:05 AM | Comments (21)

August 19, 2005

Separated At Career Path?

Posted by poland at 01:32 AM | Comments (21)

Pop Quiz (Testosterone Edition)

If you woke up one morning and found this pen sticking out of your neck, would it be okay because you knew that Rachel McAdams had put it there?

Posted by poland at 12:27 AM | Comments (51)

August 18, 2005

Reviewing The Movie Or Your Life?

Transference
Pronunciation: tran(t)s-'f&r-&n(t)s, 'tran(t)s-(")
Function: noun
1 : an act, process, or instance of transferring : CONVEYANCE, TRANSFER
2 : the redirection of feelings and desires and especially of those unconsciously retained from childhood toward a new object (as a psychoanalyst conducting therapy)

How much of film criticism is transference rather than analysis?

This thought occured to me after reading one particularly odd pair of conflicting commentaries on similar pictures. How could these opinions be so at odds? It finally occured to me... one film features guys who are "winners" who thrn think they are losers, but end up wining even more... the other film features losers who even after having ups and downs, still end up losing, the lead suffering the pain of ending up with a woman appropriate to his age, attractive, but not a Maxim-esque trophy.

Trying to comprehend why some critics seem to be willing to roll along with Proof... a movie about a disconnected, but brilliant father, who creates such a shadow that no one can believe that his child is his equal...

If you had a parent in whose shadow you felt stuck, this might be the movie of the year for you.

My most often thought of disconnect in this regard is Roger Ebert's love of Kill Bill, Vol 1 and hatred of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, two highly violent movies released in the same month. What separated them into four star and zero star reviews?

What strikes me is that Uma Thurman's character in KBV1 is a clear hero, her past as a murderer never touched on, and her disposal of the villains who thought they had killed her was, in its way, moral and completely lacking in ambiguity.

On the flip side, all but one of the teens who confronts Leatherface & Family in TCM survives... and most of them go through grueling torture before finally being put out of their misery.

I recently saw Wolf Creek, which gave me some of the same feelings that seemed to mark R.E.'s pov on TCM. There was no reason for me to be watching the movie. It was fairly cleverly made and extremely coarse and unpleasant. And my line that got crossed was that it really had nothing to say or offer in structure that engaged me. It was - and look away if you think this movie can be spoiled for you.... if you like this kind of film, it can't - a simple case of drug 'em, torture 'em, kill 'em. Boring and unpleasant.

For me, TCM offered more intrigue. I was more creeped out by R Lee Ermey than by Leatherface. For me, the girls, thinking that a killer is on the loose, are face down in the dirt, slowly figuring out that the Sheriff is as dangerous as the guy with the chainsaw, was the most harsh and compelling scene in the movie. And I will admit, a camera moving through the hole in the suicide girl's head amused me in much the same way as I assume Lucy Liu on a boardroom table amused Roger. The family was more interesting to me. The back story on Leatherface interested me. And the idea of characters being put through a maze that they don't quite realize they can't escape intrigues me. Hope... loss of hope... hope...loss of hope... drama.

I might also add that I really like movies that believe in the power of people to dig deep within to overcome adversity. And I guess that is my admission of transference for the day.

In a critical world where personalities are less and less strong, those who do have the freedom to emote... Armond White being the most personally driven of all film critics, it seems to me... walk an interesting line.

Posted by poland at 11:17 PM | Comments (22)

Pay To Stay

Should the State of California, in the midst of a fiscal crisis that, for one thing, continues to deeply damage education, be throwing hundred of millions at the film industry to promote stay-at-home production?

The New York Times' David Halbfinger got a look at the proposed bill first.

And... as a small note... that seems petty even to me, but still makes me wonder... both films that are used as examples of projects that subsidies could help keep in California - Herbie: Fully Loaded and Wedding Crashers - were shot here in LA County. Wedding Crashers did 2 weeks on the Maryland shore both for incentives and because 2/3rds of film was set in the moneyed bay areas around Washington. Fact check!

But that is an aside. What do you think of CA paying for a higher percentage of production to stay here... especially in light if a shrinking Canadian runaway biz.

Posted by poland at 09:22 PM | Comments (24)

Crazy Site Of The Day

The wild & crazy Mark Ebner has finally become blogged... and the results are for adults witha wicked sense of humor only.

Hollywood, Interrupted: The Blog

Posted by poland at 08:54 PM | Comments (1)

What Does It All Mean?

Is there any sense in making sense out of numbers?

20 Weeks 19

Posted by poland at 07:13 PM | Comments (2)

August 17, 2005

Here It Comes Again

The next really bad Tom Cruise story is about to break - not here - and this one, to me, may be the most damaging because it is the one that shows that he has either lost complete touch with reality (and professional courtesy) or that he has completely lost control of the Scientology sled he is riding.

The funny thing, for me, is that I don't really care what religious group he wants to be a part of in his real life. And given the amount of money his face and skills can generate, I don't think Hollywood does either. But proselytizing is bad, bad, bad for business.

As I always have said about Ms. Lohan... "whore" is not a problem... "white trash" is a disaster.

Meanwhile... ironically... things seem to be going very smoothly and quietly on the Mission: Impossible 3 set. Concerns that JJ Abrams would be told how to tie his shoes every morning by Cruise have not played out. And the media buzz has been as low as Cruise has seen all year.

Nonetheless, a little tsunami is coming, sure to be followed by waves of denials. Sigh…

Posted by poland at 04:47 PM | Comments (108)

The Miramax Waste Dumping Program

Claudia Eller wrote about the Miramax dump today, raising little new except for the idea that a Wall Sreet analyst would be stupid enough to lower expectations for Disney based on what is, essentially, bookkeeping.

Miramax has alreasy dumped 5 movies on fewer than 10 screens. 3 of the 9 films left to release should get similar treatment.

If The Weinsteins actually talked Disney into dropping $20 million in P&A into the long-shelved The Great Raid after half a dozen critics liked it, their skill as salesment remains as great as ever.

The Brothers Grimm is tracking, but if they are spending more than $10 million there, more insanity.

An Unfinished Life and Proof are not going to do enough business to demand real P&A and both shold be platformed in big cities only before they go away.

The Underclassman should be going direct to video and the studio's alleged plan to go wide is nuts.

And then there is The Libertine, scheduled for December awards hopefulness, will quietly dissapear if the critics don't bite and bite hard.... unless keeping Johnny happy becomes the first priority... which would be a fiscally sound choice.

Meanwhile, The Brothers Not-So-Grim are still looking for funding for their business. And while I agree that this run of colon cleansing is not going to hurt them, the fact that they have basically run out of people who are willing to bite on the big vision they have of themselves is a real problem that may well lead to a much smaller vision being forced on them by a movie-company-snakebit Wall Street.

Posted by poland at 03:30 AM | Comments (57)

August 16, 2005

Is There Nearly Enough Perspective?

Here's a Hot Button.

Posted by poland at 04:53 PM | Comments (13)

August 15, 2005

Other Updates

The Festival Blog has a story on a D student who got into the fest.

and

The Awards Blog has a blind pop quiz...

Posted by poland at 10:39 PM | Comments (7)

Another Silly Bond Rumor

They are selling another exclusive on the casting of Bond.

Anyone buying?

And does anyobe believe any celebrity story they read in the British press? Or on IMDb's WENN for that matter?

Posted by poland at 07:30 AM | Comments (40)

When Agents Were Gods

We have a great story, written nine years ago by Ross Johnson for LA Magazine, about the media insanity around agents at that time.

Read it here.

Read about it getting spiked here.

Posted by poland at 07:12 AM | Comments (4)

August 14, 2005

Sunday Estimate Analysis

Len Klady threw a little ice water on the Deuce Bigalow story, reminding us that Disney released the first film and Sony was stuck with the sequel. It’s one of those odd glitches that the first film was at Disney, as Adam Sandler’s production company has been based at Columbia most of this time. (Spyglass has moved, in the meantime, from Disney to DreamWorks to Sony.) But the first film is from the era of The Waterboy, which was a massive hit for Disney and Schneider became a Disney product. The Animal went to Sony… The Hot Chick to Disney… and now, The Deuce sequel to Sony.

The problem for Sony is that word has it that DB:EG cost more than double the original.

The not-as-bad-as-it-looks news is that the opening is just about 25% off the original, which would project to a $40 million-plus gross off of this opening.

But going back to the bad… the film faces the infinitely superior R rated comedy, The 40 Year Old Virgin, next week. Four times opening ain’t likely.

But on the good side, Schneider does well on DVD, so maybe they’ll catch up and not lose many millions on this movie.

For all intents and purposes, Rob Schneider is a classic example of a studio commodity that should be exploited, but budgets – at least until his value improves again - should never be more than $25 million. And really, these films should be released by Screen Gems, where a more specialized approach is what they do all year. If you are going to break the studio into specialty divisions, what’s the point if you don’t really take advantage of it?

Anyway…

Hustle & Flow seems to be the most important movie in limited release right now…not so much because of the numbers, but because Paramount Classics took the ball over the $20 million goal line and now are challenged to get it to $25 million before handing it over to Home Entertainment, where the Paramount team has been under pressure to produce better numbers. H&F may well be their hot rock as well, defining just how strongly a film can blossom in Home Ent as well as how well they fight off the pirates in big cities. And for now, it looks like the inevitable exit of the Paramount Classics team is a little less inevitable. This movie helped... turndowns by some who were offered the job helped... but they have a new film on their production slate and Ruth Vitale is on her way to Venice and Toronto with an eye to buying.

Broken Flowers blazed into 109 screens. The per screen is not quite as impressive as Lost In Translation’s $14,331 on 183 screens, but still, quite impressive. One of the questions around The Constant Gardener is that one of its main competitors in the arthouse universe – though Gardener will hope to find a mainstream adult audience – will be focus’ own Broken Flowers.

Batman Begins passed $200 million back on Thursday night.

Crashers, Charlie, Sky High & The Penguins continue to hold really well. Must Love Dogs isn’t doing badly either. Niche, niche, niche, niche, niche…

ADDED 8:15 - I listened to someone I shouldn't have who insisted... argh. Sorry.

SUNDAY ESTIMATES BY KLADY
1. Four Brothers - $20.4m - $20.4m
2. The Skeleton Key - $16.1m - $16.1m
3. Dukes of Hazzard - $12.8m - $57.3m
4. Wedding Crashers - $12.1m - $164.1m
5. Deuce Bigalow: EG - $9.4m - $9.4m
6. Charlie & Chocolate Factory - $7.3m - $183.9m
7. March of the Penguins - $6.6m - $38.1m
8. Sky High - $6.1m - $42.3m
9. Must Love Dogs - $4.5m - $34.6m
10. The Great Raid - $3.2m - $3.2m

Posted by poland at 08:54 PM | Comments (56)

New To The MCN Blog Family

The Festival Blog

and

The Awards Blog

Posted by poland at 12:37 AM | Comments (8)

August 13, 2005

Early Friday Analysis

66% off. Yee Haw!!!

Deuce Bigalow: Eurpean Gigolo, whose likely $10 million weekend smells like foreign fish, is only slightly behind the original’s opening Friday.

Of course, Deuce I wasn’t facing Wedding Crashers. The Friday-to-Friday drop for that R rated comedy was an unusually weighty 33%, which was probably affected by Deuce… but not as much as the other way around.

This weekend’s Deuce number has to have Universal’s head on a swivel, encouraged that there will not be an additional blockade to The 40 Year Old Virgin next weekend, but still, a genre market that may be a little saturated right now. It’s too late to move to October now, but it would be a shame to see a very funny movie unable to overcome a surprisingly leggy July release.

March of the Penguins is facing its first “off” weekend, dropping 15% Friday-to-Friday. If that drop holds – and there is no reason why it should get any worse… there are no new family options in the market – it is still a big win and keeps $50 million well in range… well more than double the previous second highest doc grosser of all time, Bowling For Columbine.

If ever there was a movie that proved that there was an untapped market, it is this one. Winged Migration, which really plowed the road, did not achieve a big enough gross to force most studios to jump on the penguins. Disney and National Geographic are in the best position, with libraries of this material just waiting for a deeply intoned voice over. Of course, there probably won’t be another film this successful. But with minimal production costs, you could throw one of these things into the market with a $15 million ad budget and still be sure to be profitable in Home Entertainment. Who knew?

$18 million or so for Skeleton Key is right in line. $3 million for The Great Raid is also as expected, suggesting that the film sat in the can for 18 months for a reason. Regardless of whether you found the film palatable, the trouble was selling it. What I find fascinating about the Miramax dumps is to see, at the last minute, with very little ad money, The Weinstein touch turning up, almost as though they decided at the last minute to shake the last sprinkles of magic out of their pockets before sending the pants to the Disney dry cleaners.

LATE ADDITION - Wow... not enough coffee... Four Brothers' place at the top of the list didn't register for some reason. first thing is that you have to tip your hat to Paramount Marketing, whihc got a decent opening for a movie that was not an easy sell. The number is big enough to show that the film found a crossover audience, the goal which I guess was part of the DNA of this project. Assuming it holds up, this will be the ninth best Augusr opening after the first weekend, passing such titles as Clear and Present Danger and within spitting disatnce of Collateral. It will also be John Singleton's third best opening as a director, though by far his biggest for a drama or original (#1 is 2Fast2 Furious and #2 is Shaft). He should be very happy indeed.

Early Friday Estimates
1. Four Brothers - $7.1m
2. The Skeleton Key - $6.0m
3. Dukes of Hazzard - $4.3m
4. Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo - $3.4m
5. Wedding Crashers - $3.2m
6. Charlie & Chocolate Factory - #2.2m
7. Sky High - $1.8m
8. March of the Penguins - $1.7mk
9. Must Love Dogs - $1.4m
10. The Great Raid - $1.1m

More To Come...

Posted by poland at 05:24 PM | Comments (31)

Never (Buy DVDs) Again

From Buena Vista Home Entertainment...

"In the tradition of “Schindler’s List” and “The Diary of Anne Frank” comes HAVEN..."

Does that mean that Miramax is actually going to dump six million titles into DVD?

Posted by poland at 12:06 AM | Comments (49)

August 12, 2005

What Do These Titles Have In Common?

The 13th Warrior
54
A Very Brady Sequel
Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid
The Art of War
The Astronaut's Wife
Bring It On
The Crew
fear dot com
Hero
In Too Deep
The Island of Dr. Moreau
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jeepers Creepers
Jeepers Creepers 2
John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars
The Muse
O
Serving Sara
Simone
Summer Catch
Super Babies: Baby Geniuses 2
Suspect Zero
Undisputed
Why Do Fools Fall in Love?

The complete answer to come eventually....

But the immediate answer is, they all opened in the last 10 days of August to more than $3 million.

Posted by poland at 07:42 PM | Comments (75)

More Outrage!

Rob Schneider was on The View today, chatting the girls up about marijuana, male prostitution and "The Turkish Snow Cone. He even removed his pants and shook his cheeks at the audience.

All at 10am!

Quick.... call the New York Times!!!

(And let's keep on eye on Rob's friends... Ebert & Goldstein evil... Star Reynolds and Elizabeth Football Wife good...)

Posted by poland at 07:18 PM | Comments (5)

How 'Bout Them...

There was an exchange in another posting that struck me as discussion worthy. Somehow, in three exchanges, it went from one assumption about the movies and the way they have always treated the American Indian, followed by an opposite opinion, to a comment on the way that this part of American history has become rather mundane.

But I think the issue is bigger than Indians and The New World. How do movies deal with Black America or other ethnicities? Are we anywhere closer to agreeing on any "truth" than we were when John Wayne rode tall?

"I am hoping Terence Malick finally makes a recent epic (the New World) that isn't loathsome-boring or wrong for the Injuns."

"Hard to make a period epic about that time without showing how it really was. The Indians weren't nice or kind people. Both groups wanted to kill the other for the land. If they won we'd be talking about how they should be nicer to the white man and I'd be running a casino."

"I'm just really mad they're trying to get rid of the name Seminoles from Florida State. My favorite football team. It's a compliment. You don't get the Irish complaining about Notre Dame. Sports rant. Beg my pardon. Go Noles!"

Posted by poland at 06:48 PM | Comments (135)

"Jake Gyllenhaal Looks A Lot Like Demi Moore In GI Jane"

I don't know if I agree, but it sure made me laugh.

The Jarhead trailer

Posted by poland at 08:09 AM | Comments (34)

If I Were Lions Gate...

I'd be considering suing Disney for their Primetime Live piece on Timothy Treadwell, who is the subject of Grizzly Man.

They interviewed the same people and used much of the footage that Herzog uses. Of course, the experience was inferior... but some people may skip the movie because of it and this sucks.

Posted by poland at 07:06 AM | Comments (14)

The Fall Preview

Ah, fall…

Seventy-seven studio/dependent films and twenty true indies over four months.

Part One

Part Two

Posted by poland at 06:47 AM | Comments (96)

My Last Comment Before Moving On

I have made a $150 donation to Homeless Healthcare Los Angeles in Judd Apatow's name. That's more than the $105 bid that was the last legitimate one on the eBay site.

If $4050 were that easy for me to give away, I would have given that away too.

And now... on with real show business...

Posted by poland at 06:12 AM | Comments (37)

Variety Gets Some Blood

Thank goodness this was rushed onto the front page of Variety... sigh...


Posted: Thurs., Aug. 11, 2005, 4:08pm PT

Blogger bails on bid for 'Virgin' preem tix
Studio covers $4,050 price after Poland refuses to pay
By GABRIEL SNYDER

HOLLYWOOD -- An eBay auction for tickets to the "40-Year-Old Virgin" premiere to benefit an L.A. homeless shelter turned into a fiasco after a movie blogger bid $4,050 for the tickets and then refused to pay.
David Poland, who operates MovieCityNews.com, actually got lucky since he set his maximum bid at $3 million, but none of the other bidders pushed things higher.

"I thought it was a joke thing and that other people would bid more than $3 million and it would go to $10 million or $20 million," he said.

Still, even at $4,050, Poland said, "There is no way I'm paying for this."

Universal listed the "Virgin" tickets under the headline "40-Year-Old Virgin Still Available" and with a wink and a nod offered "dinner, movie, conversation...and possibly the chance for something more!"

A little lower, the listing read, "You are bidding for two tickets to the world premiere of 'The 40-Year-Old Virgin' which will be held at the ArcLight Cinemas in Hollywood" and said that proceeds would go to Homeless Health Care Los Angeles, which provides social services for homeless substance abusers.

Though Poland said that when he entered the bid he thought he was bidding on the virginity of the fictional character in the film, other bloggers who wrote about it had no problem figuring out that it was a charity auction for tickets.

He now blames the small size of the text in the listing. But in an earlier email to Daily Variety, he wrote, "Even as scrunched up as the bottom of the description is, I find it hard to imagine that I didn't notice it."

According to eBay's guidelines, which renders bids legally binding contracts, Poland was on the hook for the full $4,050. But it sounds like U will be cutting a check to the charity instead. "Universal's last word was we'll take care of it," he said.

Beyond covering for the cost of his screw-up, Poland also asked the studio not to comment on the situation, which it didn't.

But he blames the studio for his trouble and said he feared someone in the marketing department might get fired. "They let this situation happen," he explained.

And who said studios never do anything for bloggers?

Date in print: Fri., Aug. 12, 2005, Gotham

Posted by poland at 02:53 AM | Comments (16)

New Rules

So it is time again to try to make sure we are all acountable for our words... at least a little.

We are going to try again to require free, easy Typepad registration in order to post.

Sorry for the inconvenience, but once you register, you never have to fill things in again... plus you don't have to let me or anyone else know who you are... you just have to be registered.

To register, just go through the process of making a comment and the computer will take you through it.

Thanks

Posted by poland at 01:42 AM | Comments (13)

August 11, 2005

The Chester Hates DP String

One of our most prolific blog commenters, Chester, has a beef with me. So, instead of subjecting people to reading through all of this in another posting, I've moved it all here. Enjoy.

Responding to this entry, Chester wrote...

Wish I could say I felt sorry for you but I don't. Sorry, Dave, but you're no different than any other deadbeat bidder on eBay. I took a look at the auction and honestly don't see how a responsible adult would have missed the notation about the tickets. Only a naif would think that bidding on an eBay auction - where you are explicitly reminded every time you place a bid that you are entering into a binding contract - would have no repercussions. And, in case you hadn't noticed, this item was worth $4,000 to a genuine bidder; no surprise there given the HUGE market for these types of event tickets, especially when they can be written off as charitable contributions.

At some point you are going to have to start taking some responsibility for all of the horribly impetuous, immature conduct you've engaged in recently.

Posted by: Chester at August 11, 2005 10:28 PM

Just saw your 2:24p addendum. Gimme a break. You're actually going to pat yourself on the back for this?

Posted by: Chester at August 11, 2005 10:30 PM

I'm not sure that "in no part thanks to me" is a self-back pat, Chet.

And what is this "horribly impetuous, immature conduct (I've) engaged in recently" that you are mentioning? Please feel free to be specific, since I have no idea what in God's name you are refering to.

Posted by: David Poland at August 11, 2005 10:37 PM

Horribly impetuous conduct you've engaged in recently:

a) Suggesting just yesterday that Jeff Wells, in order to raise money, should "focus on the popularity he has created for his son in the gay community with the many manly action photos."

b) Responding to challenges to your statements on this site by fabricating and then attributing statements to your challengers.

c) Your endless, offensive, lascivious focus on nubile young girls.

d) Your overall management of this site, particularly the way you equivocate when confronted with complaints about the harassing contributors on these pages.

And face it: The only reason Universal is letting you off the hook for this is because of your station within the industry. That makes you just like the geekish slug on "Entourage" a couple of weeks ago who had to be appeased to avoid negative "Aquaman" press on his comic-book website.

Posted by: Chester at August 11, 2005 10:50 PM

Wow, Chet... you really hate me.

a) Get a freakin' sense of humor. Aren't you the one who suggested that I was suggesting that Jett, who is a perfectly nice heterosexual young man, was gay?

The reality is this... Jett now has a gay following. This is because Jeff seems to like to publish scantily clad photos of his son. He knows about this... I've told him. His choice to continue the practice is not my fault.

But mostly, get a sense of humor.

b) fabricating what? what are you talking about?

c) the rage factor seems to have diminshed around the blog. as i wrote before, my alternative is not to ban people, but to shut down commenting. i am not interested in being daddy. and frankly, chet, you seem to be raging more than anyone else these days.

Posted by: David Poland at August 11, 2005 10:57 PM

Oops... forgot to address my lasciviousness. That was "c."

Are you suggesting that Hollywood doesn't sell sex? I did a column about the idea that the popular female body images of the moment are more "normal" than the stick figure thing. No question, there are people who found that article disturbing. But I think it is a real issue. I find it disturbing that every commerical for Stealth featured Jessica Biel in a bikini. But I understand why they did it.

There was a piece here on the blog that was a video comment on Jessica Alba saying that she had not used her body as a tool in her career.

And that's all my online "endless, offensive, lascivious focus on nubile young girls" that I can think of lately. Am I missing something?

Posted by: David Poland at August 11, 2005 11:06 PM

a) Whether or not you implied that Jett was gay, you certainly were explicit (jokingly or not) that Jeff Wells should treat his son as a sexual commodity. I know we're in Hollywood, where all too many parents sell their kids out all the time, but what you said crossed the line and is still just plain sick - particularly when talking about a colleague.

b) You have gotten into the habit lately of playing to your homeboy base on this site whenever you get into a dispute with anyone here (like me). I haven't seen this much pandering to the Peanut Gallery since Arsenio Hall went off the air. You make ridiculously broad statements (woof, woof!) and dismiss counterarguments as idiotic without explaining why (woof, woof!). And, yes, Dave, last time you and I disagreed here, you just plain lied and falsely attributed statements to me.

c) The rage factor has not really died down. What's happened is that certain people have been driven away completely or simply don't post as frequently as before. Take a look at what still happens almost every time Stella's Boy opens his mouth on this site: Your homeboys are constantly poised to attack. And, again, yes, Dave, you do have the option of banning people. "i am not interested in being daddy." = I am not interested in taking any responsibility for what occurs here. Other such sites have established standards with constant monitors, and the discussions stay focused. You apparently can't be bothered.

It's not hatred, Dave. It's just disgust over such blinded, wasted potential.

Posted by: Chester at August 11, 2005 11:18 PM

a) chet... again... humor. Deal with it.

b) You have been claiming that I have some sort of base here that I play to for as long as I can remember you posting. I'll say it again... I don't know who is going to respond to what... and I don't care. I have more than enough people who agree with me. I actually like people to disagree... but not when their idea of discourse is exclusively to keep telling me that I am communicating in a bad way. And, I have no idea when we disagreed or what it was about. But I can pretty well assume that I didn't lie. Why would I, Chester? Why would I?

c) You are right, Chester. I can't be bothered. I am not interested in being a monitor. I don't have time. Abnd for teh most part, it is unneccessary.

I don't know who most of the people in here are. And that's just fine with me.

I am trying to be respectful of you by responding to all this. But we are wasting people's time with this blather.

"Blinded, wasted potential?" Maybe you should change your tag to "Daddy."

Grudge holders bore me, Chet. Move along.

Posted by: David Poland at August 11, 2005 11:27 PM

Posted by poland at 11:29 PM | Comments (38)

Eaing It, Virgin Style

Do you every have one of those moments when the circumstances and bad choices lead to embarrassment? Welcome to my Wednesday.

On August 5, someone sent me a link to an eBay item titled “40 YEAR-OLD VIRGIN STILL AVAILABLE - No Reserve.” Ha ha.

I posted the link on MCN’s front page. And after looking over the page, I found no identifying features. It was offered by the fictional “Smart Tech Guys” (Smart Tech is where the group of guys in the movie works). There was no delivery information. The listing was in the “Everything Else > Weird Stuff > Slightly Unusual> Entertainment Memorabilia > Movie Memorabilia > Other” category. There is a storyline in the movie about "selling it on eBay." And the copy was all virgin, all the time...

“Our friend Andy Stitzer is still a virgin - and we want to help him lose it!

Hi! Believe it or not, our pal Andy has never had sex. Weird, right? Well, actually, weirder than you think, because Andy is 40 years old. So naturally, we're in a hurry to help him remedy the situation.
So far we've tried speed-dating, drunk-dating, blind-dating, and Andy still hasn’t done "it." We figure the internet is our last, and only, hope.

THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN:
The lucky winner will receive a night out with Andy. Dinner, movie, conversation…and possibly the chance for something more? Who knows.
Help this great guy realize a lifelong dream, and fulfill your own secret fantasy in the process!

Here’s a little info about our man: Andy is in great shape because he rides a bike pretty much everywhere. He enjoys karaoke, video games, and he even knows a few magic tricks. He's really an all-around quality guy AND he has an astounding action figure collection! For more info on Andy, check out http://www.the40yearoldvirgin.com”

In the great tradition of fake Friendster movie characters and other publicity stunts, I decided to play along. I bid $3 million for Andy’s virginity.

Of course, why I would want a guy’s virginity makes the joke odd to begin with. But what the hell?

What I missed was the 7.5 font size, nearly illegible fine print, which I will bring up to normal size for you to read, as I should have…

“You are bidding for two tickets to the world premiere of The 40 Year-Old Virgin which will be held at the Arclight Cinemas in Hollywood, CA at 7:30 PM on Thursday, August 11th. Winner must be able to get to the premiere location, as no transportation will be provided. Winning bidder’s payment will be donated the Homeless Heathcare Los Angeles (http://www.hhcla.org).”

Almost a week after bidding $3 million and forgetting the whole thing, I got an e-mail from Gabriel Snyder at Variety, asking why I was bidding on premiere tickets for a movie.

Huh?

The bidding had slowly grown to $100… and then one person accelerated the bidding up to $4000… which eBay then automatically outbidded to my “winning” $4050.00.

A great day for charity… but only if I was willing to pay for something I never intended. And if it were a couple of hundred dollars, I would have paid it just to avoid the embarrassment, no matter what my intentions. But $4050.00? My embarrassment is not that pricey, I guess.

I am terribly sorry that this happened. I don’t know whether Universal will get the other bidders to pay or not. But the whole thing leaves me with a sour stomach, as does the expectation of an embarrassing piece in Variety.

A harmlessly stupid publicity stunt was attached to a charitable auction and I was the dummy. But my enthusiasm surely will make things uncomfortable for someone at Universal who has to explain it to others as well. A charity auction that ended with a $110 bid would be less than a blip on the radar. A charity auction that they thought ended with an insane $4050 bid meant a happy surprise that turned into something unpleasant… and for that I am deeply sorry. Cynical web guy, me. Bad day.

ADDED AT 2:24p - The Happy Ending is that Universal, in an act of true generosity, is going to donate the $4050 to the charity (which was hand selected by the film's director), themselves. And after an act like that, I too should and will write a check to the HHCLA. So in the end, the charity will get more money than they would have under any other circumstance... in no part thanks to me.

Posted by poland at 10:06 PM | Comments (9)

August 10, 2005

Cupcakes Are The New Cocaine

How many people will stand on line to pay $35 for a dozen cupcakes?

So far, lots.

The new hip thing in L.A. - much more fun than the pool at the Roosevelt Hotel - are cupcakes from Sprinkles Cupcakes in Beverly Hills.

Not only are the cupcakes excellent and, of course, made from natural stuff, but They make about 20 different combos of cake an frosting, from basic Vanilla to Ginger to Red Velvet.

The virtually unmarked store, open for 4 months now, is the size of a Beverly Hills broom closet and can easily be missed... except for the telltale line out the door.

So, the hipness clock is running... by Christmas, you can be sure that the cupcakes will be flying, competitors will be open, and cupcakes will be well on the way to being next year's Winchell's Donuts.

But for now, what better way is there to say, "I went out of my way to amuse you... and I don't care if your ass/gut is just a little bit bigger... indulge!"

Posted by poland at 12:37 AM | Comments (21)

August 09, 2005

The Summer of Excuses Hits Fifth Gear...

Rob Cohen - "I think there's a love of infamy and heroism that doesn't play into the zeitgeist."

David Poland - "I think there is a hack director who doesn't know how to entertain an audience."

Rob Cohen - "Action films are usually about the male hero, and if you live in a time when you don't believe in heroes, it makes it difficult ... to make action films as they've been traditionally defined."

David Poland - "Or maybe if your "hero" wasn't willing to bomb the crap out of a sovereign nation so he can retrieve the one piece of ass in the military he hasn't tapped yet, we could think of him as heroic. Could your "hero's" action be any more like you feel Bush's actions are?"

And just one point on Rachel Abramowitz' piece, which tells the story well except for the one psychotic narcissist given play at the top...

"With a few exceptions, such as Russell Crowe, manly men have disappeared from the screen to be replaced either by platoons of outsider friends working together (the "X-Men," "Lord of the Rings," "Ocean's Eleven") or thin, lithe, beautiful and boyish creatures, usually alienated somewhat from their environs. In "Spider-Man," "Batman" or even "Harry Potter," the hero is an orphaned young man, traumatized by his past, with duty and greatness thrust upon him. His power is in his head, not his hands, and the audience feels empathy for him, not awe."

X-Men - 25 years old
Lord Of The Rings - 50 years old
Ocean's Eleven (which had minimal teen appeal) - 45 years old
Spider-Man - 40 years old
Batman - 60 years old

Good storytelling works. Good iconic stories tend to have good hooks to market them with.

Sony sold Stealth with everything the movie had... CG effects, good looking actors, and Jessical Biel's body. There was NOTHING else... and audiences smelled it. Had Russell Crowe been in the lead, it would have opened before it died. But Josh Lucas and Jessica Biel don't open movies and Jamie Foxx has never opened a movie to as much as $7 million without a lot of help (Oliver Stone/Al Pacino, small role in a Will Smith movie, Tom Cruise, Ray Charles/Oscar push). Want to say that is a typical Hollywood excuse? Wake up and smell marketing ass.

It's lovely to claim that The Island got caught in a jetstream, but DreamWorks knew they had a problem before the summer started and before the film was finished. The Academy first-act-and-shoe party screening was not a lark.

And how can you claim there is an action problem when Mr & Mrs Smith overperformed, Star Wars topped the summer, not to mention War of the Worlds and Batman Begins!

And stop trying to throw all this on Dukes of Hazzard... do you realize how much money WB spent for the $30 million opening and that if the film doesn't perform better overseas, they are going to lose a bundle when/if the film tops out at $100 million here?

Of course, now the wags are already tearing into King Kong - "It's do well, but can it really get to $300 million?". Don't even get them started on V For Vendetta.

Posted by poland at 07:16 PM | Comments (84)

Toronto is coming...

MARY Abel Ferrara, Italy/USA, Visions, North American Premiere
An independent director (Matthew Modine) casts himself as Jesus Christ in his film. The actress (Juliette Binoche) playing Mary Magdalene travels alone to Jerusalem after the shoot to continue her spiritual journey inspired by her role. A year later in Manhattan, a superstar network journalist (Forest Whitaker) investigates the life and times of Jesus Christ. While his show receives high ratings, he and his wife (Heather Graham) face a crisis for which they are spiritually unprepared.

(For TIFF PRess Releases, here is the spot)

Posted by poland at 07:05 PM | Comments (23)

August 08, 2005

David Carr Remembers The Good Old Days.... 10 Years Ago

Here's his story...

Here's my response...

What do you think?

Posted by poland at 08:54 PM | Comments (41)

I Don't Know Why...

Peter Jennings death at 67 upsets me so much.

Maybe it is that he was the first anchor of my generation of mature television viewing. Maybe it is because he seemed so strong, looking well while the not-ill Dan Rather looks like a wreck. Maybe 27 years from me is not nearly far enough to do all the things I want to do.

He was never my favorite anchor. For me, there was direct line from Brinkley to Koppel. But unlike Rather and Brokaw, there was never that earlier career in which he developed in my eyes.

I don't think I ever had more than a word with him, along with a handshake.

He was elegant. And he seemed to really know his stuff. He always seemed above the pettiness we all get drawn into now and then.

With Nightline turning into a 30 minute crap news roundup as Koppel goes away, Brinkley gone, Walters more about showbiz than news now... woe is us. Another loss that may bring things a little lower... a little closer to a standard too easy to meet.

Posted by poland at 05:22 AM | Comments (40)

I Think The Lack Of Comments...

... tells us just how uninteresting this last weekend was.

Posted by poland at 04:27 AM | Comments (45)

August 06, 2005

You Guys Tell Me...

When The New York Times runs a feature about a remake of The Devil & Miss Jones, it makes me deeply sad.

It is so normal to see pornography and smirky references to sex on the web. And I think a story on the pornography business is 100% legit... it is big, big, business.

But 298 words is an EW News & Notes piece... it is not news... and the piece seems to focus on mundane sensationalism, like "...There's so much hair everywhere."

Can you hear the smirk in the word processor here? "Ms. Spelvin, 69, said she was still surprised that she, a small-breasted brunette, got the starring role."

Is it news that Vivid claims they will spend $250,000 on this film? (Pure bullshit there.) Or that they got a billboard in Times Square?

Will this bit of oral, anal and other varieties of sex be any different than other porn films, other than that it gets a marketing push in the New York Times?

Is this The Times' way of thumbing its gray nose at he Bush Administration?

Honestly... how far is The New York Times from covering Lindsay Lohan's breasts on a daily basis?

Has Tom Grunick gone to work for The New York Times?

Some of you will think I am overreacting to this... and no one story is that important... unless it is symbolic of something bigger... and to me, this is one step away from a paper that I really care about and read every single day streaming freeway car chases on their website because "you gotte give the audience what they want."

Posted by poland at 08:59 PM | Comments (16)

Early Box Office Analysis

Sigh…

The Dukes of Hazzard will end up in the Top Nine All-Time of August openings. And as is the norm these days, all eight other leaders in this category are from the last four years, starting in 2001. It will be no Rush Hour 2 (2001) or Signs (2002). Let’s remember the “August Slump” of the last two summers, as openings in the high 30s were not nearly as impressive as 2001 and 2002’s $60 million plus starts.

Will The Dukes end up being SWAT ($117m) or Alien Vs Predator ($80m)? No way to know yet… or any time until at least the weekdays. I will say that I was surprised by the amount of applause at the end of the film in the 11:15p screening I attended last night.

And btw, if there was such a thing as directing credit arbitration, Dan Bradley would have gotten co-director credit with Jay Chandrasekhar, if not sole position, as the car chases actually appear to make up 50% or more of the film. And as Chandrasekhar was utterly incapable of getting performances out of Ms. Simpson or Mr. Reynolds and just let the rest of the cast loose, Bradley actually did more direction.

Wedding Crashers, Charlie & The Chocolate Factory and Sky High are all holding very well.

The March of the Penguins added more than 1000 screens, roughly doubling its Friday number, suggesting it could get to $8 million for the weekend, taking it to $27 million and making $50 million a realistic goal and putting the doc in the family film league of Sky High and Herbie: Fully Loaded. Good on ya, WIP.

Stealth is off an impressive 64%, Friday to Friday. That’s hot.

The other Second Five films are lingering as expected.

Early Friday Estimates
Dukes Of Hazzard - $12.5m - $12.5m
Wedding Crashers - $4.9m - $133.3m
Charlie/Chocolate - $3.3m - $161.8m
Sky High - $2.9m - $25.8m
Must Love Dogs - $2.4m - $21.1m
March Of The Penuins - $2m - $21.1m
Stealth - $1.7m - $19.9m
Fantastic Four - $1.2m - $138.6m
War Of The Worlds - $1m - $221.8m
The Island - $1m - $29.2m

Posted by poland at 07:45 PM | Comments (24)

Upside Down In Chi...

I am truly sorry that Michael Wilmington's mother is sick and I am sympathetic to his need to spend more time taking care of her.

But why isn't The Chicago Tribune reassigning a veteran movie critic on their staff (Marc Caro) instead of dipping into their theater criticism department for a novice (Michael Phillips)?

Of course, this comes about a year after Caro was bumped from the criticism beat to being "just" a film feature writer so the company could hire a woman - they hoped an ethnic woman - for the slot. After Wilmington fought for The Trib to hire a prominent, well-respected, female web critic whose husband was recently separated from his job at the same site, the slot disappeared completely, forcing Wilmington to take on double the workload. Miserable.

And now this.

I don't get it. Doesn't anyone value quality criticism and experience anymore?

And what about Variety bringing Liz Smith aboard? Nice woman... great historical figure... but couldn't they get Bill Higgins to do it? Shouldn't the person at least be in Los Angeles?

Posted by poland at 04:18 AM | Comments (14)

August 05, 2005

Variety's New Gossip, Liz Smith, Misses Dreamgirls Boat

She writes: "NEGOTIATIONS are heating up for the leads in the com ing film of "Dreamgirls," which will be directed by Bill Condon. Right now they are talking to Beyoncé and to Usher and to Jamie Foxx."

Beyonce', Foxx, & Eddie Murphy are in. Unless something changes, Usher is out.

And the role of Effie (And I'm telling you... I'm not going") may be close to being cast with another well known name.

Posted by poland at 09:02 AM | Comments (53)

August 04, 2005

Masterpiece Of The Familial

Remmeber how My Best Friend's Wedding was a surprising delight, reviving Julia Roberts, bringing Cameron Diaz to ascension, creating a cult around Rupert Everett that had him suggested as the first gay Bond?

Remember how Say Anything came out if nowhere and was funny and emotional and unforgettable?

Remember how Lawrence Kasden's second film, The Big Chill, revived the love of Motown, launched Kevin Kline, William Hurt, Glenn Close and Jeff Goldblum and signalled the arrival of an important director.

This is the provenance of The Family Stone.

We're still three months away from a release date... Michael Giacchino's score still isn't in... there is still some cutting being done... but as landmark comedies go...

Posted by poland at 01:54 AM | Comments (58)

August 03, 2005

The Numbers Unvarnished, As Of Aug 1

Things haven't changed much through the month of July.

The power of 2004 becomes clearer, the only year in movie history to gross $5 billion through July of its year.

Only three years have ever been in the $4 billion range, one of which is 2005. The distance 2005 is from being the second highest grossing year in movie history? Less than $7 million.

The "tickets sold" stat, which is the new backdoor way of continuing to beat the slump drum, is an estimated stat, based on MPAA info from last year. But figuring that ticket prices have gone up about 2%, it represents about $100 million in dollars at this point of the year. So it is fair to say that ticket sales are at a low for the last 10 years. But it is also fair to realize that DVD sales in the last 5 years have increased income per title by more than 30% from 10 years ago as well.

2004 - $5,050,769,262

2002 - $4,541,363,411
2005 - $4,534,839,052
2003 - $4,517,538,152

2001 - $3,709,809,440
2000 - $3,698,404,817

Posted by poland at 04:39 PM | Comments (73)

Uhhhh...

Six Degress Of Daisy Duke

Posted by poland at 08:44 AM | Comments (88)

August 02, 2005

$16 Million for Nicole

A good version of Invasion of The Body Snatchers is always going to be commercial. It's a good story and if well told, should do well.

That said, why does Nicole Kidman's price keep going up?

The Interpreter got to $72 million domestic and just over $150 million worldwide... but Sean Penn was the featured one of the movie pair in countries like England.

Bewitched did $61 million domestic and won't get to $100 million worldwide... the film will lose money, even after DVD.

In fact, the only $100 million domestic film in Kidman's career is Batman Forever.

That said, even though The Stepford Wives also flopped, Kidman's last three wide releases have opened in the low 20s. And that is how movie star salaries are set.

Hollywood lives on hope.

Posted by poland at 07:27 PM | Comments (123)

August 01, 2005

In The Year 2000... 15...

Bill Goldman said, “In Hollywood, no one knows anything.”

In Newsweek this week, Sean Smith proves that no one says anything either.

In a piece that should have been spiked or cut into a Periscope piece when Smith couldn’t get anyone to actually address the premise of his story, Smith promises to give readers a glimpse into the moviegoing experience of 2015. He even tells us, “It looks as if the summer of 2015 will be a lot cooler.” (Oy.)

Smith quotes 14 of the “brightest minds and biggest brokers in the film business” and four of them actually had something to say, though one of them really wasn’t saying much and the other two will only make the summer of 2015 cooler if they aren’t making a movie released then.

The one clear, specific voice that actually has something to say about the future – at least, at one studio - in the whole piece is Yair Landau, vice chairman of Sony Pictures Digital. He tells Smith, "Ten years from now, we'll release a film and you'll be able to consume it however you want. Which means that instead of packing the kids into the car to go see "The Incredibles" on opening night, you'll be able to download it to your television instead. It'll be like Green Eggs and Ham. Do you want it in a theater? In your home? In your car? On a plane?"

Then there are the two directors:

Nancy Meyers - "DVD just might be the end of movies. What will happen to word-of-mouth hits if you can just loan someone the DVD that you bought? The basic reason to go to the theater is to see something that you can't see anywhere else. You better talk to somebody else. I'm definitely in the bummer category."

McG - "I think you're seeing the true collapse of an economic model. Ten years ago everybody kind of fell for the ads, and we went and saw the movies. Now people can get online and write, 'That movie was s--t' and it's out in the world by Friday afternoon. I think the gauntlet has been laid down for studios to make high-quality pictures."

Apparently, McG still thinks that Fantastic Four won’t open if AICN pans it and that Shaun of The Dead will be a massive smash if they love it.

And there is the very upbeat Joel Silver, who states, "It'll be bigger than anyone's ever dreamed of. I really believe we're in a new golden age of Hollywood."

But the magic of leadership becomes crystal clear when you read the quotes, in full, from the five top execs who offer the quote equivalent of popcorn and soda, satisfying to many, but absolutely devoid of nutritional value.

Amy Pascal. "If movies try to appeal to everybody, they can't improve. The best movies are really specific and authentic."

Bob Berney - "It's the problem Hollywood has always had. Everybody wants something new, but they want something new that worked last week or last year."

Brad Grey on the family audience - "That's been the sweet spot in the business for some time now, and I think that's only going to continue."

Ron Meyer - "We have a responsibility to give audiences the very best entertainment experience we can give them. When we don't, they don't come, and they're right not to come."

Peter Chernin – "People have always been nervous about change, but movies are incredibly resilient. Television, cable, video, video-on-demand, DVD—all of these have just created additional markets for movies to live on."

There is more on movie theaters – punchline: nothing will change and the couple of suggestions offered have already been done for a decade. Lucy Fisher on Tivo. And Grazer and Pascal on race and old age. Every quote in the story is here (after the jump)… so you tell me if you know anything more about seeing movies in 2015.

ON EXHIBITION
David Weil, CEO of the Anschutz Film Group - I think you might see a bifurcation within the theater itself, so that there'll be a coffee bar in one area, and maybe a real bar in another.

"Maybe the movie theaters can sell DVDs," says Reed Hastings, founder of the online DVD-rental company Netflix. "If you like the movie you just saw, you can walk out with a DVD of it, just like you'd buy an album or a T shirt after a rock concert."

Michael L. Campbell, CEO of Regal Cinemas - "We've experimented with selling DVDs and other movie merchandise, but 'The Lion King' was one of the few movies where we had viable merchandise sales. We haven't been able to generate enough interest to support the overhead."

"We have juice and muffins, waters and coffees, but at the end of the day, popcorn and soda are still 80 percent of our total sales”

AND THE REST
Lucy Fisher - "In our house, the biggest four-letter reason for not going to the movies is TiVo. But I think there will always be a desire for humans to gather. I just came back from Greece, and you sit in those old amphitheaters, and they don't look that different from our theaters now."

Amy Pascal - "When I saw 'Wedding Crashers,' an R-rated movie in which Vince Vaughn gets a hand job, the people in the theater had canes and walkers and dentures, and they were loving it. If you look at the demographics, there are going to be fewer teenagers in the future than there are now, and there will be a lot of us older people."

Brian Grazer - "They just want authenticity from their actors, and so I think you'll see stars taking more chances."

Posted by poland at 07:35 PM | Comments (91)

Kind Of Surprised

In working on today's Hot Button on DreamWorks, I was looking back at old columns and ran into my Relections Of 2003 from two Januarys ago... man it feels like I could write the same column this week... and probably have duplicated much of it in recent months.

Take a look if you like.

Posted by poland at 10:08 AM | Comments (10)

Why...

... does Roger Friedman continue to dog DreamWorks (and Paramount's War of the Worlds) with as much harsh negativity as possible, the latest being an idiotic suggestion that The Island could stop the Universal buyout?

I finally found out.

Roger wanted to see War of The Worlds before his summer vacation. And amazingly, Steven Spielberg didn't understand how incredible important the man is and he wouldn't budge or force Paramount to budge about giving him a screening before the rest of the media. After all, R.F.'s the hottest celebrity in Hollywood right now with his powerful performance in March of the Penguins.

And so, like assholes before him and surely like assholes after him, he will make his rage known by being as nasty as possible to anyone and anything that delivered this affront.

Posted by poland at 08:50 AM | Comments (78)

Dreamz Unchanged

The Sunday Telegraph in London misreported a story on the Universal production of American Dreamz, written and directed by Paul Weitz, saying that the film’s producers were “reconsidering the script after the London attacks because it involves suicide bombers attempting to assassinate the American president.”

In fact, the film is in production on the Universal backlot and continues on without changes even though the studio and the filmmakers understand the sensitivity coming from shell-shocked London.

Paul Weitz, reached on Sunday, commented without any waffling, "The article in The Daily Telegraph was unfortunately -- although I'm sure not maliciously -- inaccurate in that the plot of my film has not changed, nor is a change being contemplated. The film is a comic examination of our cultural obsessions and how they can anesthetize us to the actual issues of our day."

American Dreamz is scheduled for release next year.

Posted by poland at 06:12 AM | Comments (24)