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Jeffrey Lyons is to film criticism as I am to nuclear physics. The difference is that I would never try to split an atom because I freely admit that I don't know anything about fission (or is that fusion?). Whenever I accidentally channel surf to his "Reel Talk" fiasco, I weep openly. Banal, mindless, insipid, clueless, lame, uninformed, trite. His son makes him look like Pauline Kael by comparison. Just plain stupid.

scarper86, it's never too late to learn. So make sure to check out Britney Spears's Guide to Nuclear Physics, available now with free alpha particles!

Surely, this is worth a few points in EFilmCritic's Quote Whore competition.

Actually last June was a big month for father & son.

Jeffrey
An Inconvenient Truth - One of the most important films of our time.
The Omen - Superbly made and very scary.
A Prairie Home Companion - A delightful, engaging movie…everyone will love it.

Ben
An Inconvenient Truth - Al Gore is the only real superhero at the movies this summer. An Inconvenient Truth is the most relevant, important, thought-provoking and powerful film I have seen in years. Seeing this movie will change your life for the better, and hopefully it will change the world.
A Prairie Home Companion - A great achievement in filmmaking! Robert Altman is one of the great American directors of our time. Kevin Kline is hilarious, with a performance worthy of an Oscar nomination.
The Omen - A truly amazing and terrifying film.

Now, I'm curious: is this a Highlander-type situation, where Ben will only grow whore-ier once Jeff kicks it? I shudder at the thought of any grander hyperbole.

Now the ante is upped for Jeff and Jett Wells.

Remember when Siskel and Ebert left PBS but "Sneak Previews" continued with Lyons and Medved? I'm surprised that wasn't the death of film criticism right then and there.

Anyone know what I mean when I opine that A MIGHTY HEART looks to be the Turanest movie to ever Turan? Because of the Jolie angle, there's a slight chance they'll sic Chocano on the flick to do a TV blog recap of it, but its mix of Very Serious Journalistic Subject Matter and A-list actress giving a Very Serious Performance would seem to make it exactly the kind of granite-etched Oscar bait that's increasingly the only type of movie Lord Turan feels compelled to muddy his hands with.

You guys would know: Is the Times slowing inching that Old Fuddy Duddy off the paper, or is it his own squeamishness/pickiness that has led to him doing roughly six reviews in all of 2007? Annoying though he can be, he's still a better read (even if totally predictable and self-plagiarizing) than the wholly anonymous Kevin Crust.

I was correct. A Turan rave.

So I can expect his next published review sometime around October when the rest of the bait comes out?

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