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A L B A.

You know what it spells.

And in one of her last pre-MILF roles.

Yeah baby YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH.

How else would they get anyone to see it? Not even just see it but to go early and wait in line and then see it?

Lex, could you let us know if there's significantly MORE of ALBA in the movie than we've already seen in the trailer? Heading off to slide that Quicktime slider now....

doug r, as a fellow fan, have you seen this?

(Warning: It's very sad, but hopefully all will be well again soon enough after she delivers....)

http://omg.yahoo.com/jessicas-baby-bash/photos/1645

And, yeah, since I haven't missed an Alba since that Dictionary movie where she played the native girl, I will indeed be seeing this.

I'd go, if I were under 20, just to get the gift card, but I'm over 20. Just out of curiosity, will you be going Mr. Poland?

I haven't taken a shot at walking into a test screening, uninvited, in a decade.

This does not bode well for the movie.

Imagine this movie being the first human transmission received by some enemy life form. Would we deserve annihilation?

"This does not bode well for the movie."

I went to two test screenings of NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN last April. A test screening has nothing to do with a movie being bad. Everything else having to do with THE LOVE GURU, on the other hand, does.

Forget the gift, the fact that they are having it at the Loews in Marina Del Rey is a hint. That place is a dump.

How's that? They have test screenings all over the place - they're going after their target audience, who don't all hang out at the Arclight.

"A L B A. You know what it spells."

Absolutely Lame Bad Actress.

No, it spells BONER, dumb-ass.

ALBA RULES YOUR ASS.

ALBA = HOTTEST WOMAN EEEEEEEEEEVER.

(Except Paris Hilton, and maybe Lindsay Lohan.)

Know that shit, son.

No, Lex, Alba really is just an attractive flash in the pan who can't act.

CADARVA OWNS YOUR ASS. Cadarva makes you into a cadaver. Buries you next to Hoffa. After two days everybody forgets you're gone. Gone before ever reaching manhood. Gone before catching a battery of STDs from Paris. TEARS. From a clown.

LEX = BIGGEST POSEUR EVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER

All in the game, son. Check yo self.

Nice try, son. Keep on the dick and maybe someday you can approach the real.

Besides, no fucking KING would ever give a shit if a HOT CHICK can actually ACT.

Alba is FUCKING HOT. If I wanted acting, I'd watch a Catherine Keener movie.

Oh, no, wait, I wouldn't, because I'm not a bitch.

Hotness trumps acting.

Unrelated but I watched GEORGIA RULE tonight (twice) and it RULED my cock.

The HAN would probably know I OWN and that all weak motherfuckers just run they mouth.

Get the bozack, homes. Next time YOU get your SHIT QUOTED IN FUCKING VANITY FAIR, DEFAMER, and LA WEEKLY, *then* come back slinging your bullshit that I'm somehow a poseur. Until then, I'm putting this sausage joint ON THE MOTHERFUCKING MAP, son.

And more on topic:

I have nothing but respect for Poland, and even *I* wouldn't wanna go near most test screenings or hoi polloi premieres...

But this is twice in ONE WEEK that Poland has insinuated -- hell, STATED -- that he's TOO WELL-KNOWN, too BIG OF A STAR, to acquire WACK-ASS PASSES OUTSIDE A FUCKING MALL.

I'm sorry, David, you are the shit and all, much respect, but seriously, dude, trust me, the fucking dude outside the Burbank movie theater with the clipboard DOES NOT KNOW WHO YOU ARE. The loudmouthed Yenta with the Burger Shack headset running the line outside of said theater on the night of the even DOES NOT KNOW WHO YOU ARE. Maaaaaaaybe some junket-running suckup with out-of-state plates MIGHT pick you out of a crowd, or maybe they just think you're Jimmy Kimmel or Rod Lurie, your two celebrity dopplegangers.

But, dude... yeah.

Hey Dave, how is a $25 dollar AMC gift card any more of a bribe than the endless stream of swag sent to critics/writers/journalists/bloggers by the studios?

Lex. You're repulsive.

Assuming Alba keeps her clothes on, a bribe is the only way I'll ever see this movie.

No, Lex, my ass is ruled by Ellen Barkin, who's twice as old as Alba, ten times as hot, and one hundred times the actress. Get your head out of your ass and accept the fact that your juvenile droolings amuse no one but yourself.

Lex... I didn't say I couldn't get papered at a mall theater with an invite. Never said anything like that. But thanks for spinning bullshit.

What I have insinuated or said outright is that most test screenings are attended by marketing execs from the studio and, like it or not, a significant percentage of them have met me over the years and don't want me in that room unless they have asked me to be there. That is the problem with me trying to sneak in. There are also a couple of senior people at NRG who know me. And a decade ago, when I did still go to some of these, there were staff who recognized me from roughcut.com, but just smirked and passed me in.

I'm sure I could sneak into some test screenings... but I am not much of a sneaker. (I am also too old to be in the main demo they tend to be looking for with these screenings.) And as I have said repeatedly, I don't believe in reviewing test screenings... though the problems or strengths of a film are usually on display.

Montreal... you're not wrong... except that the swag comes to, in may cases, professionals who know what the intent is and can modulate it.

Anne Thompson wrote about the cool Iron Man toy and how people in the office like it and how that somehow suggested general interest out there. That was unfortunate... even if it turns out to be true.

The rule is... the better the toy, the more exotic the junket, the worse the film. And 90% of the time, that's the truth.

But speaking to the $25 bribe, it's not the norm, which makes it stand out. I don't think it will make the movie test better... and I don't think that is the intent. I think that it means that 15-20 years olds are NOT going to screenings and people 21 and over are and they need to get more younger people to go.

The idea that young people aren't climbing over others to get to a new Mike Myers comedy is striking, though. Isn't it?

What the hell has happened to this thread? Seriously... we have gone off the rails, hit ludicrous speed, and embraced the lesser demons of TJ MAX and possibly AJ WRIGHT'S.

That aside; the Love Guru really does seem like a movie made more for Canucks then the US citizens. Who really cares about a HOCKEY PLAYER with problems outside the folks in the great north? It just seems a premise that only Meyers could get off the ground, but a premise destined to fall back the ground at the box-office.

If they need to fork over gift-cards to get people to screen this flick. Good on them for trying! It's not like most critics were clamouring to see this movie anyway.

"Unrelated but I watched GEORGIA RULE tonight (twice) and it RULED my cock."

See, Lex is troll. Again, I salute him.

I guess LexG is the kind of guy who guarantees all those non-porn DVD have been handled with post-mastabatory hands like he talked about one thread over. Charming.

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