The Hot Blog

No one fucks with Noah Bennett. NO ONE!

SAW V IS GOING TO FUCKING OWN.

FUCK YEAH, JIGSAW OWNS.

HOLY SHIT, one of the Encores is running the long-lost and AWESOME "Made in USA" starring CHRIS PENN and ADRIAN PASDAR from 1987.

MEGAOWNAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In more random thoughts no one will care about, now all I need is for someone to air Kiefer Sutherland, Meg Ryan and Jason Gedrick in PROMISED LAND, and Charlie Sheen and Max Caulfield in Penelope Spheeris's BOYS NEXT DOOR, and my triumvirate of COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN, NEVER HEARD FROM IN TWENTY YEARS juvenile delinquent movies from my formative high school HBO years will be complete.

And for the umpteenth time, someone needs to get on making a KING AD ROCK/HUGH HUDSON Special Edition DVD of LOST ANGELS happen.

Hugh Hudson? Wow, there's a name I haven't heard in a while. What happened? Yeah, I know: After Chariots of Fire (which still holds up, by the way) and Greystoke -- he crashed and burned with the indefensible Revolution. And, sorry, Lost Angels wasn't much better (despite Donald Sutherland's sympathetic performance.) But holy smokes, other driectors have recovered from worse disasters. Again: What happened?

I think you're shortchanging "Lost Angels," Joe.
For my money, it's Hudson's best film (I was never big on "Chariots," and "Greystoke" just seemed OK to me back then) with wonderfully empathetic performances by Sutherland, Adam Horovitz and the divine (speaking of "whatever happened to....?") Amy Locane.
I also happen to think it's Hudson's most visually accomplished/striking work: a real achievement considering the fact that a good chunk of the movie is devoted to 1-on-1 therapy sessions between Sutherland and Horovitz.
At least Hudson hasn't been reduced to directing torture-porn like Roland Joffe (one of his Brit contemporaries). Yet anyway.

Rock Hudson wha?

I am deeply saddened by the death of Rudy Ray Moore. His films are packed with so much manic energy and are still hilarious to watch. The man made many contributions to hip hop culture, and i can still watch films like The Human Tornado and Petey Wheatstraw and have a great time.

I'll drink to that, cheers to Dolemite himself.

I want to make a point about Roland Joffe.

How come it's considered some huge, shameful sellout that he's directing things like CAPTIVITY and that TATU MOVIE WITH MISCHA BARTON?

I think that OWNS. Fuck, if I was some staid 60ish director, I'd be ALL ABOUT taking paycheck gigs where I get to film HOT SQUACK in like Russian nightclubs and some kinetic shit with people getting OWNED.

What would you rather do, kick it in the fucking jungle getting trenchfoot and shit making THE MISSION 2, or some cool Canadian warehouse spending your days taking F-stop readings of Elisha Cuthbert's midriff?

Like, I'm 35 and I don't have entreeeeee to the COOL CLUBS and TALL MODEL CHICKS IN GIANT FUCKING HEELS with LIPSTICK and STROBE LIGHTS and shit.

Now imagine you're a 60 year old British bookworm director and you suddenly have MIDRIFF CHICKS ALL AROUND YOU and you get to spend 18 HOURS A DAY SURROUNDED BY WORLD CLASS ASSPIECES making some fun-ass horror movie or LESBIAN RITE OF PASSAGE DRAMA. FUCK YEAH, MAJOR OWNAGE.

Roland Joffe should be SALUTED. SELLING OUT sounds a lot more to me like OWNING OUT in this case. Fuck, this is pure idle speculation, but I'll bet EVERY NIGHT James Ivory stays up wishing he could film some NEON-DRENCHED FAST CAR LESBIAN RACING MOVIE WITH ALL CHICKS FROM THE CW IN THEIR LITTLE MIDRIFF OUTFITS FUCKING SMOKING MOTHERFUCKERS and doing DRUG DEALS and shit.

TOTAL FUCKING OWNAGE.

Lex, nothing is stopping you from becoming the next Girls Gone Wild impressario. I have a feeling you probably look a lot like the Milfhunter guy, too, and if he can do it, you can do it.

There's no such thing as a MILF. (Except for Jessica Alba, Reese Witherspoon, and Kate Beckinhotness. But outside of Hollywood actresses, no such thing.)

But that was the rare jeffmcm post that made me laugh nonetheless... even though I don't know who the Milfhunter is. Apparently McDouche rents that shit. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I do not (I don't think it's rentable) but I have been involved in making a parody of it (the guy gets his comeuppance in the end).

Regrettable Ideas:

GISing "Milfhunter."

Lex is so repulsive.

Kamikaze is such a douchebag, weasel, no-integrity bitch-ass pussy who titters are talks through movies to ruin them for other people, because he can't keep his thoughts to himself for a second. Probably due to a conservative upbringing. Now he's OUT IN THE WORLD and LIKES TO SHARE HIS THOUGHTS. Just like every college kid away from home he thinks he's got it all figured out. What an ORIGINAL VOICE! He should have a BLOG to discuss his life of FRIENDS AND MUSIC, even though he's some hick from rural nowhere Australia. But PLEEEEEEASE grace us with your OH-SO-PERTINENT thoughts.

How's that blog going these days, Mariah superfan? Maybe I oughta pay a visit to the comments section, Rabbit-Proof Douche.

Oh, and Kami, while you're around,
STILL WAITING FOR AN APOLOGY for the time where you WRONGLY attributed some disturbing CHUCKY comments to me. You lying, no integrity pussy.

And while you're at it, why don't you share some more of your thoughts on Terrence Howard? Because I'm sure he cares what your backwoods Australian bitch ass thinks.

Damn, Lex. Do you kiss your mother with that dirty mouth?

Ah, yet another nacent thred, killed early by the manic ramblings of Lex, the villaige roid-head.

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