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I JUST REGISTERED TO VOTE.

IN MY PANTS.

(Insert expected LexG post...)

I'd like to stuff HER ballot box.

I just raised a cauc-us.

I'm mailing in an absentee boner.

I'd like to show her a POLLING place.

I agree, DP. These images don't show self-restraint, either literally or in their conception. I hate them.

If these silly ads get someone to vote, then good for the ads. We live in a representitive democracy. Where most of the populace has a problem voting. While torturing a new mother in an ad is a bit weird. There has to be a way to through to a populace, that has a problem voting. Something has to wake these people up from their self-imposed coma.

the dim bulbs that came up with that ad campaign mustn't realize that s&m bondage rarely keeps people from voting, it's apathy that kills us (they also must have forgotten that 14-yr-old boys can't actually vote). jess should have been photographed in track pants and a sweatshirt in a lazy-boy watching telly, all daggy and shlumpy, covered in crumbs with a packet of chips, a pizza box on the floor and a huge cola cup on the armrest. that's how the masses silence themselves.

What the fuck are they selling here?

Mad fucking men.

BTW, based on what I've heard from people that have worked with her, Alba is one of the dimmest bulbs out there. So go vote Lex.

I know Poland hates Eli Roth (and I still disagree) but I don't get the Brett Ratner reference. What movie did he make that involved female bondage? And I ask out of ignorance since I haven't seen half of the guy's movies.

1) My above jokes were great. Fuck, I'm STILL laughing at them.

2) This is a blog for asexual people.

THESE ADS FUCKING OWN.

ALBA RULES.

"2) This is a blog for asexual people."

Has society really gotten to the point where, if you're not describing your throbbing member 24/7/365, you're 'asexual'?

No, but if you don't get a boner from that top ad, you might be.

Lex, you're missing the point. I hate, hate, HATE that I know ANYTHING about your boner at all. Between your alcoholism, your chronic depression, your whines about your lack of a career, and your sex addiction, I really wish I knew less about you.

Lex, you're the anti-boner.

Who you callin' asexual, Lex?

Salo: 120 Days of Sodom has gone mainstream. De Sade wasn't crazy -- he was just ahead of the curve.

Hey, I wanna pitch a show in which investment banker-types get tortured. I bet it would be HUGE.

TOTAL OWNAGE HUGE.

Yeah, I don't think even Harry Houdini could've taped himself up like that. And I wouldn't have known it was Alba just by looking.

As for the bottom pic, that get-up doesn't look like it would actually prevent her from speaking (but it might put a crimp in Lex's plans for her).

Looks to me like the ad guys just wanted to meet Alba.

These adds reminds me of the funniest photo shoot of all time. Can she express any emotion without the use of fake tears (she cannot cry in movies so I doubt she can cry in a freakin' photoshoot).

Having said that, the top picture is barely anything that hasn't been seen in a Rihanna videoclip on VH1.

I'm not sure if that link worked so here it is again. I dare anyone to not laugh their arse off looking at that photoshoot. For a woman who was pregnant at the time, she didn't seem to be able to create much fear out of the prospect of giving birth to Satan's seed.

http://mynewplaidpants.blogspot.com/2008/02/i-might-never-stop-vomiting.html

Yeah, I remember those "classic" Alba shots. Each one looks as if she were asked to hold her expression for at least two minutes, until her eyes reached maximum deadness.

In the Psycho shot, she could be singing an aria, opening wide for the dentist or auditioning for the Jerry Lewis story. Anything but being surprised in the shower by a knife-wielding man in drag.

the 'rosemary's baby' one is the worst. good grief.

Indeed. There are others, but the link doesn't seem to work anymore so I had to use that blog link instead. Just so funny.

Damn you, Camel! I just choked on my cake.

Funniest thing since, well, Fey as Palin a couple of hours ago.

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