The Hot Blog

the Superbowl is this weekend? I wasn't even aware.

(in other news, who cares?)

I'm still deciding what new film I should watch tonight. Any suggestions?

Down in the ratings? Compared to what - last year? It's the most watched televised event every year. Not sure what your point is exactly...

The week studios didn't want critics to see was earlier this month. At least in my market, all of this week's openings -- Taken, Uninvited, New in Town -- were previewed for critics.

Two of this weekend's new movies are going to RULE.

I usually prefer the young stuff but Elizabeth Banks = awesome.

David, there is a Reuters article ('Recession rocks Hollywood's showbiz papers') about the recession hitting the Hollywood Reporter and other mainstream media and the rise of *your* kind of movie media (you are mentioned in the article alongside Nikke and Tina Brown...)

Here's the link: http://uk.reuters.com/article/autoNews/idUKTRE50T3AN20090130

What is your take on it?

Finally caught up with "Cadillac Records" last night and have to say, there's a lot to like about it - particularly Jeffrey Wright.

And I got a funny e-mail about "The Uninvited" from someone who said they were "on set for that movie, and they never got one shot off all day." Hilarious.

And now that the Coachella line-up has been announced, I KNOW I'm not the only one hoping for a Paul McCartney-Morrissey set list of duets.

Since "Taken" has been available online for free for almost a year, I'm assuming you're excited for Renee Zellsquinter and "New in Town," LexG?

I hope it’ll be a good game but I’m thinking it’ll be a snooze. My first prediction would be Steelers cover and take the unders but not confident to get mouth/money together.

I have no movie biz comments. No one ever commented on Underworld 3. Is it any good?

Oh yeah, I have a movie comment:

PUSH (the good one with Dakota Fanning and Chris Evans) looks like pure ownage of another level, a Wanted-level masterpiece.

Paul McGuigan is one of the most unsung "new"ish directors-- and what's with his GARISH WALLPAPER FETISH? It's kind of awesome and Lynchian. More directors should do really otherworldly production design like that.

Both Ebert and Berardinelli liked The Uninvited, and Michael Phillips gave it **1/2. Anyone planning on checking it out?

Lex, Elizabeth Banks is younger than you are.

I never saw Wanted (little interest) but Push actually does look fun and maybe even smart.

I saw The Uninvited and enjoyed it much more than I thought (and much more than the original Korean film). My review's at Eonline.com if anybody cares. As is mine for Underworld 3, which I enjoyed more than the previous two.

Supposedly the Superbowl ads will have the first look at the G.I. JOE movie, which is shaping up to be a complete disaster based on buzz and images shown so far.

At least TRANSFORMERS actually had robots that transformed -- the "Real American Hero" team is now an international force in Dark Knight armor. And one of them's Marlon Wayans.

Cardinals will win by 4.

G.I. JOWNAGE. That's going to rule. RACHEL NICHOLS = HOT.

"Lex, Elizabeth Banks is younger than you are."

As Tom Leykis might say, that's what owns about being a man.

Tell it to Hugh Hefner. Then tell it to some rich female of equal age and stature.

You're a toad who will never be happy.

For you Los Angeles residents. There's a midnight showing tonight at the Regency Fairfax (Fairfax and Beverly) of THE BIG LEBOWSKI.

I'll be there man.

That's also the only theater in LA showing Let The Right One In.

I'm not too interested in The Uninvited. I think A Tale of Two Sisters is OK but nothing groundbreaking. The remake looks much worse, like the One Missed Call or The Eye remakes.

Wicker Park and Lucky Number Slevin are awful movies. Gangster No. 1 is pretty good though.

Stella's Boy -- I thought the same going in. But The Uninvited is actually better than Tale of Two Sisters, and a lot better than the other remakes you mentioned.

The scares work, and aren't just a bunch of sudden loud stings on the soundtrack.

The Uninvited looks better than Let the Right One In.

That said, I CANNOT WAIT till they do the American remake so I know who the fuck the actors are, and everything's shinier and not in that green foreignmovievision where it's all wan and Euro. Seriously, I actively hope it's like 94 minutes and scored with METAL and they age the girl to like 18 or 19 and put her in bare midriff shirts and shoot it through that golden glow that Bay uses, OF COURSE in 2.35:1, and add a subplot about some troupe of chicks doing STREET RACING or some shit and Vin Diesel makes a cameo and pulls a threesome and then there's a 23-MINUTE car chase scored to LIMP BIZKIT'S SONG FROM MISSION IMPOSSIBLE and the whole thing ends with A GIANT AMERICAN FLAG being raised and DROWNING POOL KICKS IN while they show a still frame of GEORGE BUSH GIVING THE THUMBS-UP.

Because AMERICAN MAKES THE BEST MOVIES IN THE WORLD, foreign movies are like watching DOUBLE-A BASEBALL and only for people with chronic low self-esteem.

AMERICA #1!

JEB IN '12!

PLEASE NOTE: This is not Lex acting or putting on a persona. This is what he really thinks (except that he himself has chronic low self-esteem).

I did my part: I plunked down matinee price for "Taken." I love it that Liam Neeson has never quite forgotten that he long ago did "Next of Kin" and "Darkman." It's a no-BS B-movie, and it's all the better for it. Yeah, I could have watched it for free, but I hate watching full-length movies in tiny windows.

Good to know Luke. I will give it a shot. I love Strathairn too.

They should make a movie where Elizabeth Banks and new cool niece Kristen Stewart take a road trip in their Ferrari to drive across the Southwest to rendezvous with a fat, unpleasant-but-awesome Burt Young-type 40 year old drunk (played by me) and we all go see a Limp Bizkit concert, and the movie concludes with 20 minutes of concert footage intercut with OWNED! videos from YouTube.

Then my character and a semi-fictional Fred Durst go around kicking people's asses while the ladiez swoon.

GOOD IDEA.

"Because AMERICAN MAKES THE BEST MOVIES IN THE WORLD, foreign movies are like watching DOUBLE-A BASEBALL and only for people with chronic low self-esteem."

Chronic low self-esteem? Like the oft-repeated, self-admitted self-esteem of one LexG? Do you want to rethink this proclamation a little maybe?

Go Arizona!! I don't actually care about (or like) NFL, but Ben Graham was my favourite AFL player years ago and it's great that he has a shot at a freakin' Superbowl title.

Taken has been out around the world for ages. it actually just came out on DVD two weeks ago here after being a surprising box office hit.

Half of what Lex listed as his hoped changes in the American version of Let the Right one in were the exact same things I was saying would ruin a remake but feared would come true. There's no way they're not going to be 17/18 yr old high schoolers. The nightgogglevision they could lose but I hope they don't make it overly dark either. There'll be a thousand more quick cuts and more kills. I'm sure the boys father will be an angry abusive drunk. Morse code will be replaced w/texting. Music prolly will be over bearing too. What else am I missing??

ELIZABETH BANKS on Leno! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

It's BONER O'CLOCK. (Seriously, she is CHARMING.)

Does anyone know if she's single and likes idiotic fat guys who listen to Leykis?

I would like to go out with her.

Too bad I am a complete loser with nothing going for me. I make Vic Tayback look like George Clooney.

Fuck, now Douche Patel is coming on to kill my buzz (figuratively; One week sober.)

Meanwhile, David Letterman mans up and shows Bill Hicks long ago censored final appearance. Amazing.

In a larger, more metaphysical sense, though, isn't it always boner o'clock?

"In a larger, more metaphysical sense, though, isn't it always boner o'clock?"

And a lot like Lex, it'll only be right twice a day.

In reading David's piece on Goldstein, I felt this might be the more appropriate column to bring up the CAA parking bit. I parked there this past Monday for under two hours and the charge was $30 (yay for receipts/tax season). I figured the $34 was for all day, but it kicks it at 2.5 or so.

So, I was going back Thursday afternoon and wanted to see how long it took to park at Century City (Constellation entrance), come up the escalator in front of Gap Kids and walk to CAA - meaning, how much extra time do I have to leave on a weekday afternoon as Century City is free for under three hours.

The answer is "seven minutes."

So, if you can manage to be a mere seven minutes early to all your CAA functions (AND it's a weekday where there's plenty of parking at Century City), you're gold.

Boner o'clock - Lex, you're a human sundial!

Pretty sure Banks is married though. You've been clock-blocked.

Did anyone actually SEE the Dane Cook MASTERPIECE "My Best Friend's Girl"?

That might be the funniest shit I've seen since "Caddyshack" 28 years ago. Dane is a GENIUS and K-HUD is hot and fun... easily Howard Deutsch's best movie since "The Great Outdoors," if not "Pretty Pink."

It was like a romcom written by Tom Leykis or Neil LaBute; I was laughing my ass off when Dane was OWNING all the chicks and being an asshole on his dates, GREAT stuff, good advice on how to act on a hot date to get laid. Kinda bogged down in the middle when he got all sentimental but then RALLIED when he went to that wedding and started hitting on chicks and being an asshole on purpose, like WAY WAY WAAAAAY funnier than Pineapple Express or some Apatow shit. No, this was more like comedy for guys with a chip of their shoulder, no political correctness, just early 80s style sexism and sleaziness.

And Alec Baldwin steals every scene. HIGHLY recommended and what He's Not That Into You SHOULD be like.

Lex, I think we all know you well enough by now to see this kind of comment as nothing else but a wail of anguish.

Lex...No, I'm not going to say anything. Nope.

The fact you missed Bill Hicks on Friday to watch Leno says all.

Why did Letterman suddenly choose now to play that Hicks piece? Was there a whole retrospective? Did he make any comments about it afterwards, like an apology or a full explanation? Did it match what was being said at the time? It's been quite a while since Hicks passed. Seems like odd timing but I didn't see the piece to know of the context of what went on.

Go to youtube and watch the whole thing. Letterman has always had big regrets and this was a fantastic way to make amends, and especially to Hick's spunky mom. I'd say this was one of the great tv moments.

Seriously, My Best Friend's Girl is like Leykis 101: The Movie.

HIGHLY recommended.

For you, Lex, from a McGuigan interview for "Slevin":
"Scottish people always like wallpaper. It's true," says McGuigan, who was determined to get that home decor obsession on-screen. "I like putting people in front of textures to see what it looks like. I'm not saying the wallpaper takes care of every problem, but I do think it can make up for a lot in a dull film."
There's a point to the wallpaper, too, which clues in audiences to the film's heightened, not-quite-real quality. And it also establishes the bunking-with-friends nature of its young characters' lives: "In New York, people are so transitory that they don't bother to take the wallpaper down when they move into a new place."

Chris, that ruled. McGuigan is AWESOME, and WICKER PARK was downright inspirational, Hartnett just all getting hot trim THROWN at him, fuck yeah.

I like movies where some dude has it coming at him from all ends and he has his pre-mid life crisis about who to go with.

That would rule.

Lex, would you please be a man already and hire an actual psychiatrist to do your therapy, instead of doing it live and in public here in front of dozens of people?

PSYCHIATRY IS A PSEUDOSCIENCE, SON.

FUCK PSYCHIATRY.

FUCK PSYCHIATRY.

FUCK IT.

The only PSYCHIATRIST I'd ever hire is if it would be some HOT CHICK who would literally fuck me, instead of figuratively fucking me, which all PSYCHIATRISTS DO, because THEY ARE FULL OF SHIT FUCKING CHARLATANS, CON MEN and FUCKING HACKS for the WEAK, on par with strip mall fortune tellers and used car salesman.

FUCK PSYCHIATRY.

FUCK IT.

Okay, maybe not a psychratrist, but definitely Egomaniacs Anonymous (which I know is a contradiction in terms).

WHO'S GOT THE FUCKING HOOKUP ON L.A.-9 PROS?

You know where the fuck to hit me up.

MAKE IT FUCKING HAPPEN FOR ME, or it's ON YOU MOTHERFUCKER.

When I get famous I'm gonna keep a stable of 45 chicks who will walk around the LEXMANSION NAKED EXCEPT FOR A THONG AND HEELS like in EYES WIDE SHUT and every day at a certain time they'll HAVE to BOW DOWN and worshup me while they wear paper crowns and I will COMMAND THEM.

Any L.A. producer or agent or industry type who can get me into THE SCREEN ACTORS GUILD?

MAKE YOURSELVES KNOWN.

LEX FOR SAG IN '09: MAKE IT FUCKING HAPPEN or IT'S ON YOU.

SAG is the most impossible shit EVER, at least when you're nailed to a desk 9am to 11pm six days a week.

I CAN'T WAIT TO BE FAMOUS, I WILL BE THE BIGGEST FUCKING ASSHOLE IN THE WORLD.

HARVEY LEVIN IS GOD. GUY FUCKING RULES.\

Anyone know how to get a job for TMZ?

I WILL DO ANYTHING SHIT-FUCK HOLLYWOOD GIG that's ON CAMERA and SAG-elligible.

Since no one gives a shit, and I guess all you HOLLYWOOD PLAYERS are TUCKED IN with your candle and jammies, I AM GOING TO ASK:

WHAT IS THE POINT OF ANY SECOND OF ANY MAN'S LIFE WHERE YOU'RE NOT FACE DOWN IN VAG and banging chicks?

I AM FUCKING SICK OF MY BRILLIANCE BEING FUCKING IGNORED, SOMEONE ON THIS FUCKING PIECE HIT ME UP IN EMAIL AND TELL ME HOW TO GET SOME LEGIT H-TOWN FUCKING SQUACK.

I AM HORNY AS FUCK.
I AM HORNY AS FUCK.
I AM HORNY AS FUCK.

Ha, I had a friend who was working at TMZ and laid off not long afterwards - and he was really happy when the lay-off happened because he hated the job so much.

If you're willing to work long hours for average pay to make garbage, you might just fit in there. (And I'm pretty sure they aren't SAG since they pretend to be a "news" show).

TMZ FUCKING RULES. LEVIN IS AWESOME. I wanna be like that long haired blonde dude who gets all the screen time and talks up all the Hollywood snatch.

SNATCH FUCKING OWNS.

LADIES WHO READ THE COLD BLOG, you know where to hit me up. DO SO and get on the juggernaut.

I really should just start filming all this shit for DoucheTube.

FUCK EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD. I HATE ME MORE THAN YOU DO.

FUCKING A, PUSSY RULES.

If Lex is truly working 14 hour days, 6 days a week - well, no wonder he has the occasional meltdown. I'd be on the roof with a high powered rifle.

Tonight, should I:

A) Drive to a strip club by myself and sit there like a tool? (Strip clubs suck because most do not serve booze, and I like full nude, not topless. I am more an ass man that a tit man.)

B) Stay home, watch American Idol, and drink a half bottle of vodka and 17 beers?

So far signs are pointing to B!

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