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February 18, 2009

I Must... I Must...

I know this will raise the hackles of some of the peanut gallery, but after a chat with someone who saw the film recently, the following melody just stuck in my head... with apologies to Frank Churchill and Ann Ronell...

Who's afraid of the big blue cock
Big blue cock, big blue cock?
Who's afraid of the big blue cock?
Tra la la la la

Posted by dpoland at February 18, 2009 10:15 PM

Comments

Huh?

Posted by: Joe Leydon [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 18, 2009 10:21 PM

So the obvious question is,

"how big is it?"

and the obvious answer is, big enough to drive all other thoughts away - apparently.

Posted by: jeffmcm [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 18, 2009 10:36 PM

Joe, this is referring to Dr Manhatten in Watchmen. It's another of Poland's childish jabs in the rib posts about the film he hasn't seen but claims to have no bias against.

Posted by: PastePotPete [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 18, 2009 10:49 PM

Oh come on, Pete... there is a comic book movie with a giant blue guy's penis shown throughout. You don't think this will get talked about?

And if either of the two ladies walked around with labia in view, you don't think that's ALL that would get talked about?

Have a sense of humor, man. We're going to be reading about people who take it very seriously for months... which is a shame.

Posted by: David Poland [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 18, 2009 11:10 PM

Poland owns.

I'm raising my drink to him right now. Seems like a genial, nice, goofy guy... No idea why people get worked up over him just being silly in a post like this.

And on a classier note, that labia shit he just said sounds hot as hell.

I am against the clock trying to read this 9-million page COMIC BOOK before March 5th.

Posted by: LexG [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 18, 2009 11:21 PM

"And if either of the two ladies walked around with labia in view, you don't think that's ALL that would get talked about?"

Carla Gugino walked around naked in Sin City. I think people talked about other stuff that was in that movie.

Though they sure seem to have forgotten that Mickey Rourke was in it, judging by the way everyone's acting now like he's been gone for years.

Posted by: LYT [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 12:05 AM

Carla Gugino owns, especially that Wayne WANG movie with Molly Parker.

Shit fucking ruled.

Posted by: LexG [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 12:11 AM

It's a big blue wang in a movie where Silk Spectre II is basically running around in panties. If people are going to get that hung up on a CGI doink. They got some problems. It's just a doink.

Posted by: IOIOIOI [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 12:49 AM

MALIN AKERMAN COMMANDS YOU.

Get down and BOW to her superior ass.

I have a BLUE WANG just thinking about it.

I HAVE A BONER.

Posted by: LexG [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 01:04 AM

Poland, I'm sure it will get talked about. I'm also fairly sure most of the discourse will rise above the level of writing little mocking songs.

And said discourse is not likely to be made by people who had already decided before seeing the film that they will not like it.

I'm not expecting Watchmen to be a huge four quadrant hit but I really hope it is, if only to see another of your (no doubt inevitable at this point) asinine attempts at spinning the early numbers to be negative blow up in your face, as it did with Iron Man's midnight screenings last year.

I'm sorry if I'm harsh but when you're good, you're very good. However you periodically develop a petty nastiness towards certain movies that you refuse to ever own up to. It's beneath you and I don't like seeing it.

Posted by: PastePotPete [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 01:12 AM

jeeze, dp...see the movie before you post shit like this (i hate thinking i'm smarter than you)...

Posted by: scooterzz [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 01:24 AM

Pete... yawn. When the numbers are right, are my attempts "genius?" (rhetorical) No.

Numbers are numbers. I certainly invest a lot of tine considering thise stuff, but if I took at as seriously as some of you do, I'd be in a mental home (or have a hypen in my site name).

And funny... I have no problem with that, scoot. And what makes you think I haven't seen the movie?

Posted by: David Poland [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 02:27 AM

P.S. "I'm also fairly sure most of the discourse will rise above the level of writing little mocking songs."

You don't really think that, do you? Do you really think we should need to discuss it at all?

Posted by: David Poland [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 02:29 AM

well, your post leads me to think you haven't seen the movie...sorry if i'm wrong on that...
why not just say you have (if you have)....

Posted by: scooterzz [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 02:37 AM

Full frontal male nudity in a comic book movie is noteworthy. Let's not pretend it isn't.

Posted by: MDOC [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 05:03 AM

the fact that people are still weirded out by a cock, even if it;s blue, is just a sad indicator of how stupid people in this country are capable of being.

I was in Paris and i walked into a Virgin Megastore to get some earbuds and on the front display table was a book of penis photographs. My wife and I sat there looking through it and remarking how odd it is that America is so afraid of genitalia. Even when it has nothing to do with sex. I a flaccid penis that much of a story? If it is, then it sort of proves my 'our media is worthless' theory.

and MDOC, it's only noteworthy because so much time and effort has been spent 'protecting' people from images of genitalia. It's like we've been living through decades of 'cock prohibition'. By classifying the mere sight of full frontal nudity as 'pornographic', they have made the very image of it a talking point.

That's the story that fascinates me. Half the fucking world has a cock. Is the sight of it, even glowing blue, that much of a discussion point?

What's the discussion? "That character has a cock! And he's not covering it!"

The only story really is "We're not used to seeing cock on camera, and it makes repressed people uncomfortable."

How many words really need to be devoted to that.

In a movie that deals with so many themes, will the glowing blue cock become the real talking point? If it does, than it's a very sad statement about our culture.

Posted by: anghus [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 06:02 AM

No, it won't become the sole talking point. But people will snigger. Especially those who haven't read the comic.

And remember some people lose some of their inhibitions when jammed together in a cinema. It's a 6-foot blue shlong, for christ's sakes. Giggling at it doesn't mean you can't appreciate and discuss the rest of the movie. You telling me you didn't find Austin powers funny?

Posted by: bluelouboyle [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 06:14 AM

No, it won't become the sole talking point. But people will snigger. Especially those who haven't read the comic.

And remember some people lose some of their inhibitions when jammed together in a cinema. It's a 6-foot blue shlong, for christ's sakes. Giggling at it doesn't mean you can't appreciate and discuss the rest of the movie. You telling me you didn't find Austin powers funny?

Posted by: bluelouboyle [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 06:15 AM

"And what makes you think I haven't seen the movie?"

Your writing.

Posted by: winston smith [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 06:38 AM

Geeks won't really care; they'll be busy being disappointed by the film and it's apparently shit acting and random musical cues. Most non-fans won't care because they won't be seeing the film. Those that do snicker about it, will, mainly because there won't be much else to talk about. This is what I'm starting to sense, here, and I'm not too pleased about it.

Posted by: Aris P [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 06:50 AM

Ken dolls have no dicks, I used to giggle about it all the time as a little girl.

Posted by: DeafBrownTrashPunk [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 06:52 AM

David, when you were a youngster, did you spend altogether too much time obsessing over this movie?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQ1e9QaWQrk

Posted by: Joe Leydon [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 07:14 AM

After the rise of the Internet and ridiculously easy access to hardcore porn, are there really any boys or girls over the age of 10 who haven't already been exposed to big, hard cocks.

Parents are in denial if they think their little angels don't know this stuff is out there and sadly the kids are more tech savvy then their parents when it comes to blocking this stuff.

Posted by: Krazy Eyes [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 07:23 AM

Apparently they cut out a bunch of female nudity from the Friday the 13th remake because ti made the younger audience uncomfortable. What will that same audience think about MALE nudity?

Posted by: The Big Perm [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 07:48 AM

Apparently they cut out a bunch of female nudity from the Friday the 13th remake because ti made the younger audience uncomfortable. What will that same audience think about MALE nudity?

Posted by: The Big Perm [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 07:56 AM

The thing about Dr. Manhattan's wang if I remember correctly from the comic is- he can appear anyway he feels like. I don't remember him swinging a dong spawn from John Holmes and Smurfette in the comic.

And B Perm-there was tons of boobage in the F13 remake. The ditzy blonde chick OWNED in her topless scene! Are you talking about them cutting full frontal? If so, Imma pull me a Jeff Wells and get some outtakes sent over!!!

Posted by: don lewis (was PetalumaFilms) [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 08:18 AM

There was a lot of nudity in F13...but I read an interview with one of the producers and there was originally a lot more, but they cut it because the audience was uncomfortable. I don't think it was full frontal though. But it sounds like they're going to reinstate it on the DVD.

Posted by: The Big Perm [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 08:39 AM

Most uncomfortable full on nude performance? RAGTIME.

Posted by: christian [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 09:38 AM

Some of the commenters under my E! review of Friday the 13th were actually complaining that there were too many breasts and not enough gore.

I fail to understand their complaint. It's like when people tell me the naked lesbian make-out scene in Wicked Lake goes on too long.

Posted by: LYT [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 10:02 AM

Well, when the kidz today can immediately access hours of hitherto unseen perversion on the web, are a couple of breasts really going to excite an audience? Besides Lex.

Posted by: christian [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 10:06 AM

Everything in Wicked Lake went on too long.

Posted by: Joe Leydon [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 10:07 AM

Way to play coy, Dave. If you hadn't seen it, you could have just wrote "I haven't seen it" instead of playing the question game.

Just be honest.

Posted by: SaveFarris [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 10:08 AM

"after a chat with someone who saw the film recently"

This made me think he hadn't seen it.

Posted by: jeffmcm [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 11:44 AM

i've always felt that a movie should be blue and a penis should be long.....watchmen reverses that completely....

Posted by: scooterzz [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 12:25 PM

Very funny, Scoot.

And if this movie does double the business that friday the 13th does, whatever the comfort zone, you will hear the sound of wrists and throats being slit in burbank.

The real issue here is not the penis itself, but the willingness of parents of under-15 kids to send or take their kids to this film. 300's success had a lot to do with feeling like a soft R. Cartoon violence and a pair of boobs. I suspect that the rougher violence in this film will be the bigger issue, but The Blue Penis will be a HUGE topic on talk radio for a week or longer. Maybe that's good for the film on some level, but it may also be the tipping point for parents.

Posted by: David Poland [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 01:47 PM

I've seen the short version of Wicked Lake on Daily Motion. Looks like an excellent film to me, at least in its five-minute form.

Is that you performing a scene opposite a naked woman and peeing your pants, Luke? (I almost called you Lou. You know who to blame.) Splendid job of not looking like you had a boner.

You are what Lex aspires to be, and I mean that in all sincerity.

Posted by: frankbooth [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 02:22 PM

I'm more impressed by LOU Y. CADDYSHACK'S earlier work:

http://www.carlspackler.com/archive/cs_371.jpg

Posted by: LexG [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 02:54 PM

I doubt kids will be complaining about a big blue wee-wee after 2 hours and 45 minutes of greuling, non super heroey superheroes. They'll be sound asleep.

Plus, it IS rated R....

Posted by: don lewis (was PetalumaFilms) [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 03:26 PM

'The real issue here is not the penis itself, but the willingness of parents of under-15 kids to send or take their kids to this film. 300's success had a lot to do with feeling like a soft R. Cartoon violence and a pair of boobs. I suspect that the rougher violence in this film will be the bigger issue, but The Blue Penis will be a HUGE topic on talk radio for a week or longer. Maybe that's good for the film on some level, but it may also be the tipping point for parents.'

more utterly ridiculous hypocrisy and double-standards re: female vs. male nudity/genitalia foisted on our kids to fuck them up even further in regards to attitudes toward nudity and sexuality (and please, visibly drooping labia is not the same as the entirely visible external cock-n-balls, no comparison there). slaughter with boobs/boobs&bush on full display is somehow acceptable for under-15 kids, but the tipping point is a willy? how sad.

good for you, snyder, dick it up real good. one more little chip away at the granite of overt sexism on film and the pathetic fear of the penis (largely driven by male insecurity), particularly over the last few decades when penises have all but vanished from american cinema.

Posted by: leahnz [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 03:34 PM

Insert obligatory Karvey Keitel/Ewan McGregor crack. (Well, maybe not crack...)

Posted by: frankbooth [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 03:49 PM

The primary theme of Watchmen is impotency. If I recall, nobody in the story can get it up. It's all about sexual frustration.

You can then argue that a limp blue dick is the point of the whole piece.

Think, McFly, think.

Posted by: Crow T Robot [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 04:02 PM

Seriously, Leah... where have you seen slaughter and bush in a movie that kids were going to in numbers? (Of course, slaughter and Bush had an eight year run... but I digress.)

If Watchmen was am $80 million movie, none of this would mean much. But the film aims for a much bigger audience than Friday The 13th or anything else of the hard-R genre. Even with a PG-13, Batman was really a soft-R. But we don't see much hard-R these days outside of horror and the arthouse. It just isn't a financially viable choice.

This movie may well that history wrong. It may not.

But I am always amazed when smart guys like Don take the "this is how the movie will play" position. Studios do not care how movies play. It;s found money when they play well. They care about opening and spinning out the expected multiple from that. They don't care if every kid sleeps and every parent is pissed... so long as they show up on opening weekend expecting a Batman level of comic book sex and violence.

That doesn't make aspiring to more (30 minutes more, apparently, in Snyder's "director's cut"), but when you spend more than $100 million on a movie, the goals on release are different. And a lifetime of pride for having made a really good film is an issue for another day.

I lways encourage filmmakers who have no chance of big financial success to embrace the pleasure of having done the work.

Posted by: David Poland [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 04:39 PM

"And if this movie does double the business that friday the 13th does, whatever the comfort zone, you will hear the sound of wrists and throats being slit in burbank."

if this movie has an $80 million dollar opening you say warner brothers would be disappointed? 300 felt like a soft R?? now you're just making shit up.

Posted by: winston smith [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 05:02 PM

Ssshhh winston. DO NOT REVEAL THAT THE EMPEROR IS NAKED!

Posted by: IOIOIOI [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 05:14 PM

"Slaughter and Bush!" What a great title for a Fox cop show!

Posted by: Cadavra [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 05:15 PM

It seems somewhat rare to see full frontal nudity in ANY movies these days, make or female. I'd have to side with DP over leahnz on that one.

Posted by: The Big Perm [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 06:06 PM

i'm not sure what would be 'spoilage' here so:
SPOILER - SPOILER - SPOILER

there's a lot more here than just the exposed cgi penis...there's a considerable amount of gore and a brutal rape that's really difficult to watch (it's just a couple of panels in the book but really given detail in the film)...snyder seems to be wearing his (hard) r proudly and even said that he wouldn't allow his eleven year old son to see it (and the kid is in the movie)....i can't imagine the parent of any kid under fifteen giving the ok on this...

i don't think the 'primary theme' of the film is impotency but it is amusing that even the hero can only get it up while in costume.

Posted by: scooterzz [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 06:57 PM

Actually, Winston, you are putting words in my mouth. I wrote, "if this movie does double the business that friday the 13th does." I didn't say "open to double what Friday the 13th did."

Posted by: David Poland [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 07:07 PM

And shhh... don't tell anyone that IO doesn't have any interest in the facts or what my actual statements are...

Posted by: David Poland [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 07:09 PM

And yes, 300 felt like a soft R to most people, except for the violence, which prompted a lot of parents to see it as "about as bad as a video game," which meant they let the kids (over 10) go.

If you can't see the difference, then you just can't see.

Posted by: David Poland [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 07:11 PM

'Seriously, Leah... where have you seen slaughter and bush in a movie that kids were going to in numbers?'

did kids go to see 300 'in numbers', dp? '300' is an R-rated movie that you sited as an example of a film with female nudity and violence (can't remember if there was bush) that kids were supposedly allowed to see, while you contend 'watchmen' - another R-rater - will be a whole 'nother ball of wax and kids not be allowed to see it because of 'the blue member'. i seized upon the example of female nudity and violence together because as a parent this is the double-whammy, but the issue of full-frontal female nudity being considered more acceptable for young people to view than taboo full-frontal male nudity is just as valid. violence is a separate issue, really.

but as for some examples of other movies with bush and violence that those sneaky little under-15's no doubt duped their gullible parents into allowing them to see, or they just flat-out snuck into: 'my bloody valentine', 'species', 'resident evil:the last one', 'halloween' remake, 'snakes on a plane'... there must be heaps i can't think of.

and then there are plenty of flicks with full-frontal female nudity likely seen by those same sneaky little shits such as 'road trip', 'eyes wide shut', 'showgirls'... i don't know, i'm drawing a blank after straining my brain for the violent ones, but it's likely my memory is at fault rather than a lack of further examples.

(and perm disagrees with me, what a shocker)

Posted by: leahnz [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 07:11 PM

"i can't imagine the parent of any kid under fifteen giving the ok on this..."

Eh, I don't know. Go see this thing in Burbank, the East Valley, or the San Gabriel Valley, you'll see whole families lapping it up, the parents not even blinking an eye. Just last week there was a large Latino family in FRIDAY THE 13TH, kids of all ages, no one blinking an eye whatsoever at any of the sex or violence. And this looks even more kiddie/family friendly. Maybe in Nebraska unaware parents walk out fuming when they realize they're not in for a kids' picture, but all the time I see families in extreme movies and no one bats an eye.

Bug, Hostel, Saw, My Bloody Valentine-- you name it, kids with their parents or at least the dad.

Most parents, at least in L.A., don't give a shit whatsoever.

Posted by: LexG [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 07:12 PM

Yay to me for using "blinks/bats an eye" THREE TIMES in one paragraph.

As an aside, and speaking of bush, an all-time PARENT OF THE YEAR CLASSIC MOVIEGOING EXPERIENCE:

Some twenty-something dad brought his two small children to see WAITING; There's a female character who likes to flash her bush to people. Finally here's a close-up of her decidedly hairy bush, and the dad in the theater (seated two rows up) just starts whooping and cackling, rocking in his seat and POINTING AT THE SCREEN.

Posted by: LexG [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 07:20 PM

"Studios do not care how movies play. It;s found money when they play well. They care about opening and spinning out the expected multiple from that."

To go on a minor Chucky-esque rant, the above is why front-loading is killing movies.

Posted by: jeffmcm [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 07:30 PM

54 posts in, and all I really want to talk about is Carla Gugino.

Why isn't she a bigger star? How much more does she have to do? Stellar support in everything she does; she's proved her chops in nearly every genre (period pieces, noir, character-driven drama, frothy romcoms, dopy actioners, sci fi, potboiler melodrama, etc.); she's worked with hot directors, hip directors, up-and-comers, old masters; she proved she can carry a series (Karen Sisco) and steal others in supporting roles (Spin City, Entourage); she can work blue (Judas Kiss, Sin City) or play it family-friendly (Spy Kids, Witch Mountain).

She works ALL THE TIME, and now she's beating the boards in New York and Chicago, reviving interest in the neglected works of the GIANTS OF 20TH CENTURY AMERICAN DRAMA (O'Neill, Miller, Williams).

She looks LIKE THAT and has ALL THAT TALENT.

Why isn't she bigger? Why isn't she getting better roles, or the chance to open something big?

Seriously, what is her story? Does anyone on this blog know?

Posted by: Not David Bordwell [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 07:43 PM

'she proved she can carry a series (Karen Sisco)'

i don't know nothing about why gugino isn't bigger but i just wanted to chime in to say i love that show, a certain tv channel here re-runs it constantly in a late-night slot and whenever i start watching i can't stop, gugino is sublime as sisco (great chemistry with her 'dad' robert forster, too)

Posted by: leahnz [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 08:02 PM

Her character had not been seen before and has not been seen since on television, leahnz.

One of the most amazing Karen Sisco episodes is the one where she raids a house and gets shot. She's wearing body armor, but it's still a traumatic experience, and instead of falling apart or being forced to go on leave or getting laid up in a hospital like every other female cop on television, she goes home, opens a bottle of bourbon, and drinks until she can't feel the weltering bruise. We're used to seeing cops do this kind of thing all the time on TV...but only if they're men. If a female cop drinks the pain away, she had to be a drunk (Sharon Gless in Cagney and Lacey). This may sound odd, but I remember thinking that was the kind of scene Don Johnson always brought real pathos to on Miami Vice. So it took, like 20 years before we got to see Carla Gugino play a cop like Don Johnson played a cop.

Yeah, I have a crush.

Posted by: Not David Bordwell [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 08:12 PM

"300 felt like a soft R to most people, except for the violence, which prompted a lot of parents to see it as "about as bad as a video game," which meant they let the kids (over 10) go. If you can't see the difference, then you just can't see."

i saw---
-a severed head spinning around on screen
-a severed arm, severed legs, etc.
-a spartan soldier decapitated in front of his father
-bloood, blood, blood

that was a hard r. stop spinning..

Posted by: winston smith [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 08:15 PM

300 was fairly hard, BUT because it was so over the top and cartoony looking, the effect was diminished. The Dark Knight felt more brutal than anything in 300.

leahnz, if you have to bring up 15 year old movies to make your point...then maybe you're helping to make mine.

But regardless of male nudity, I think any violence gets a pass over any sort of nudity, male or female. How often do you see parents letting their kids watch any sort of mayhem and gore, but the second a breast comes on screen, they cover it up. Or remember that senator who complained about Schindler's List being shown on tv uncut...purely because of the nusity in the scene where the prisoners were being examined? It's pretty insane.

Posted by: The Big Perm [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 08:26 PM

'One of the most amazing Karen Sisco episodes is the one where she raids a house and gets shot. She's wearing body armor, but it's still a traumatic experience, and instead of falling apart or being forced to go on leave or getting laid up in a hospital like every other female cop on television, she goes home, opens a bottle of bourbon, and drinks until she can't feel the weltering bruise. We're used to seeing cops do this kind of thing all the time on TV...but only if they're men. If a female cop drinks the pain away, she had to be a drunk (Sharon Gless in Cagney and Lacey). This may sound odd, but I remember thinking that was the kind of scene Don Johnson always brought real pathos to on Miami Vice. So it took, like 20 years before we got to see Carla Gugino play a cop like Don Johnson played a cop'

you nailed it, ndb, i know exactly the episode you're talking about, i've seen it twice now - i love the way she rubs the spot where the bullet left a mark, like 'fuck, that hurts, oh well', more annoyed about that fact she got shot in the first place. carla kicks all manner of ass in that show, shattering gender conventions along the way with style, grit, determination and loads of sex appeal. (hell, even i have a crush on carla as karen sisco and i fancy men in a big way)

Posted by: leahnz [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 08:43 PM

Jeff: do you think it's front-loading as much as it's a culture that wants everything new and cool immediately? I would wager the studios front-loading everything does not help the situation, but we live in a fast paced culture. So the slow rollout seems to be out these days, and it finally hit most Oscar films this year.

That aside; I will never understand the part of the American psyche, that gets more worked up over sex than violence. There has to be some answer as to why we are one of the rare countries, that can handle the gore. Yet a tit completely fucking flusters many of us.

Posted by: IOIOIOI [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 08:44 PM

'leahnz, if you have to bring up 15 year old movies to make your point...then maybe you're helping to make mine.'

citing one older movie (species) doesn't make your point for you, perm, sorry to say; at least i came up with some examples

Posted by: leahnz [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 08:55 PM

Whoa...whoa...*I* don't care how "Watchmen" plays. As much as I do like the source material I cannot for the life of me figure out why you'd want to pretty much bring it STRAIGHT to the screen ala "300." I was just getting at the fact that, I don't think this is a kids movie so the blue penis shouldn't factor in much.

It's not really being marketed at kids, it's rated "R" and is nearly 3 hours long. And, has a big blue cock. Leave the kids at home!

Posted by: don lewis (was PetalumaFilms) [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 08:58 PM

Sorry, but I'm way more interested in the "Karen Sisco" discussion. When is that phenomenal series going to hit DVD? Ever?

Posted by: chris [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 08:58 PM

leahnz, if you feel that way about Karen Sisco you really ought to see Judas Kiss.

I wish I knew the story about why that movie got dumped to VHS and hasn't had a real Region 1 DVD release. EVERYONE's in it: Gil Bellows, Simon Baker, Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman, Philip Baker Hall, Til Schweiger (soon to be seen in Inglourious Basterds, can't wait), even Hal Holbrook and Roscoe Lee Brown. A gritty noir that steals gleefully from the masters (notably Prizzi's Honor and High and Low).

Anyway, she's AMAZING in it, for all the reasons you like her in Karen Sisco.

Late here, signing off, but always a pleasure, leah...

Posted by: Not David Bordwell [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 08:59 PM

It's not the enormous penis that really bothers me-if it's to scale to a 60 foot tall guy, he's not really going to be able to use it on any women.
What worries me is the blue balls....

Posted by: doug r [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 09:07 PM

all right, one more...

I think too many producers, including Danny DeVito and more than dozen others, and maybe even Elmore Leonard and Scott Frank, stuck their fingers into too many pies and killed their golden goose (this late, the metaphors get good and mixed). Karen Sisco is a show that look seriously meddled with by producers who couldn't agree on what tone the show should take (one week it would be gritty, the next farcical, and so on) or even what order the episodes should air in (the kiss of death for innovative shows like Brisco County, Jr. -- and they're doing again to Life on Mars).

Too many creative minds and too many producers who can't agree on anything does not augur well for any series, and if they are feuding, it can hold up securing the rights to a DVD release.

Anyway, that's my take on Karen Sisco being held up, but I am beginning to suspect that someone in Hollywood has a vested interest in not advancing Carla Gugino's career.

Posted by: Not David Bordwell [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 09:11 PM

ndb, 'judas kiss' is one of those flicks i've always wanted to see, i've heard good things about it over the years and now from you, too, but it's not available here, not even from dvd retailers for some bizarre reason, so i'll have to try hunting it down further afield

Posted by: leahnz [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 09:14 PM

'citing one older movie (species) * doesn't make your point for you, perm, sorry to say; at least i came up with some examples'

* duh, i should have specified 'in my 'bush&violence' list', which is what i meant; my second list was, as i admitted at the time, befuddled

Posted by: leahnz [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 09:52 PM

"Critic Don Lewis raves; 'It's not really being marketed at kids, it's rated "R" and is nearly 3 hours long. And, has a big blue cock. Leave the kids at home!'"

If I can get that on a poster or a Friday/Weekend newspaper ad. I would be a rather happy brother.

Posted by: IOIOIOI [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 19, 2009 10:07 PM

I saw Carla in Desire Under the Elms in Chicago the other night. She was absolutely fantastic. Her Abbie is a woman of fierce determination, but also deeply sad and hungry for love.

It was announced yesterday that the show is going to Broadway. Despite the competitiveness of the season, I think she has an excellent shot at that Tony award.

Posted by: CaptainZahn [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 20, 2009 05:24 AM

I don't remember any full frontal nudity in Species anyway. A crapload of breasts, but was there full nudity?

If a blue woman was walking around totally nude for all of Watchmen, parents would still have problems. But they'd be fine with any of the violence, I'd bet.

Posted by: The Big Perm [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 20, 2009 06:17 AM

IO-
My blurb already reads "Biggest Blue Dick I've seen since Paul Giamatti in"Big Fat Liar!! 4 Stars!!"

Posted by: don lewis (was PetalumaFilms) [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 20, 2009 08:48 AM

Good stuff Don.

David Poland: you need to work on the perception you give to the people. Seriously; you can attack me all day, but I am never the only one seeing you this way. So stop hating me, and hate your game. You need a crossover. If you get a crossover. You may not be so obvious :D!

Posted by: IOIOIOI [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 20, 2009 11:35 AM

Gugino's problem is that she's a virtual ringer for the similarly-named Cara Buono, as well as Paula Marshall. And as good as Gugino is, Marshall dusts her, especially at comedy.

Posted by: Cadavra [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 20, 2009 04:00 PM

Carla G is also... unfortunately in Hollywood terms... too old. Fortunately for her; she's still smoking. So she might pull a Russo in the next decade. Here's hoping she does.

Posted by: IOIOIOI [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 20, 2009 10:40 PM

Cadavra, if you'd seen Gugino in any of her stage performances, I doubt you'd say that Marshall dusts her as an actress. She just hasn't had a lot of great roles in film.

Posted by: CaptainZahn [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 21, 2009 03:34 AM

And Marshall, who works primarily in TV, has had even less success in films than Gugino. Both should be higher up The List then they are, but show biz, like life, often isn't fair.

Posted by: Cadavra [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 21, 2009 01:47 PM

Here's my last attempt to gain traction on this question, and then I'll drop it for lack of interest:

The "too old" argument holds no water whatsoever. I'd wager the top five highest-paid actresses in Hollywood are close to her age or older.

Carla was red-hot in 1998, after a series of journeyman roles and breakouts in Judas Kiss and Snake Eyes, and a scene-stealing role on Spin City. But nobody saw Judas Kiss -- I don't think it ever had a theatrical run, and it was dumped on video. And rumor has it that she was forced out of Spin City by Michael J. Fox's WIFE (sorry, can't remember her name right now).

Carla was white-hot in 2005, after the hugely successful Spy Kids franchise was followed by her critically acclaimed performance as Karen Sisco, and her daring exposure in Sin City. Her scene with Mickey Rourke in the bathroom of her apartment is one of the best in the film, and it ought to be remembered as we celebrate Mickey Redemption Night that Sin City was a major step on that journey, and that his scenes with Carla were where Marv got to display Wrestler-like vulnerability. Too bad Lucille later had her hand eaten and was shot to death.

Finally, CaptainZahn is right: Carla and Pablo Schreiber burned up the stage in Desire under the Elms. I hope he's also right about the Tony -- she already came pretty close in After the Fall.

I had a genuine inquiry about whether anyone on this blog knows anything about why her career in particular hasn't taken off, even after lightning has struck twice.

But I guess nobody knows nuthin.'

Posted by: Not David Bordwell [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 22, 2009 09:37 AM

Sadly, the industry was/is/will be full of amazingly-talented people who failed to catch the big break. Nobody knows why and never will. Call it fate.

Posted by: Cadavra [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 22, 2009 01:15 PM

Whenever there are too many cooks in a kitchen. Fate is not involved. Carla just did not get the breaks, but she hardly looks her age. So it's quite possible she could have another renaissance this year or next. So I am not ready to call her Barbara Hershey... not just yet.

Posted by: IHeartThatCurtis! [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 22, 2009 02:44 PM

For the record, and no disrespect intended:

Mrs. J. Fox is Tracy J. Pollan.

Posted by: Not David Bordwell [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 22, 2009 02:58 PM

Carla has decided that she wants to be a real actress, not just window dressing, and it will benefit her in the long run. She'll always work, whether it be on film, in television, or on the stage.

Posted by: CaptainZahn [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 23, 2009 04:09 AM

Amen to that, Cap. I felt privileged to catch her at the Goodman, especially since she bowed out to do Watchmen hype. And I looking forward to seeing her in whatever else she decides to do.


Well, maybe not Witch Mountain.

Posted by: Not David Bordwell [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 23, 2009 05:37 PM

Amen to that, Cap. I felt privileged to catch her at the Goodman, especially since she bowed out to do Watchmen hype. And I am looking forward to seeing her in whatever else she decides to do.


Well, maybe not Witch Mountain.

Posted by: Not David Bordwell [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 23, 2009 05:37 PM

Aww,, my first double post!

So that's how it happens. Apologies.

Posted by: Not David Bordwell [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 23, 2009 05:39 PM

Whoa, actually this new approach they're trying in the WATCHMEN SPOTS looks INCREDIBLE, and actually might help this thing bust out of the GEEK 8 NICHE:

Really creative approach; MALIN OWNS:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_pLeewYTys

Posted by: LexG [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 24, 2009 01:32 AM

WOULDN'T IT BE EASIER TO JUST HELP ME GET A GODDAMN AGENT THAN TO PUT UP WITH READING THIS BULLSHIT EVERY NIGHT?

MAKE. IT. FUCKING. HAPPEN.

YES, YOU.

AN ORDER.

Posted by: LexG [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 24, 2009 02:07 AM

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