The Hot Blog

I gotta say this dance routine really made me cringe when it started up at the end of Slumdog.

That dance routine demonstrates what Michael Jackson's self-imposed exile has done to dancing. IT'S FUCKED IT ALL UP!

"DA WINNAH AND STILL YOUR 2008 BEST PICTURE OSCAR WINNAH FOR ALL TIME... SLUMDOGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG MILLIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAIRRRRREEEAIRE."

How many STDs do we all think Ja-douche catches from Latika when he bangs her after the "uplifting" closing dance numbers?

Chick's been taxed by three to fourHUNDRED guys since they knew each other!

FEEL GOOD HIT OF THE YEAR.

Virgin dork lands slum prostitute.

Putting the HO in Jai HO.

This is far from the silliest thing about the ending. I could go on far more about how much of a headscratcher it was that the gangster got so suspicious of the brother when all the chick had was his cellphone and the brother locked himself in the bathroom like any person would do when they have to go to the bathroom. What was the gangster thinking? "Who taught her about the concept of the door, and how to walk out of the house when nobody is looking?!"

Not to mention the bathtub full of money that, I guess, was SO accessable. Or that if the gangster knew something bad was happening that he'd be the first one through the bathroom door so he could be killed first, versus any of his other armed goons who could have easily gone into the bathroom first to see if everything was okay.

Or the inspiring concept of fate, where some guy is just fated to be lucky and win millions and a hot girl, while others (in the context of the film) are, I guess, fated to have their guys burned out of the eye sockets and doomed to panhandling. It's written! It's the feel good flick of the year, indeed!

Or how about when all of India is following Jamal to the final game show taping as if he's the second coming, yet as soon as he's a winner they just drop him, with not one person following him to the train station, or one person begging him for money.

I guess they needed a few minutes of alone time to collect themselves and get ready for the dance number?

Slumdog Millionaire was a fable, OK? Trying to pick it apart like this strikes me as kinda silly. Worse, I can't help suspecting that some of the same people making these picayunish complaints would be greatly offeneded if I pointed out that the whole idea of a Batman being able to race around Gotham City in his Batmobile without anyone ever being able to trace him back to Batcave is... well, it requires a much greater leap of the imagination than anything in Slumdog.

Calling it a "fable" doesn't make it entertaining, relevant, cohesive, or worth revisiting. If the movie didn't manipulate the audience with its "realistic" slums, there wouldn't be a need for the story to be "realistic".

I've got to remember that catch-all defense of huge plot holes. "Untraceable was a fable, OK?"

I would have liked Untraceable alot more if Dev Patel had been in the Colin Hanks role.

IKFP: "IT'S FANTASTIC!"

"Or the inspiring concept of fate, where some guy is just fated to be lucky and win millions and a hot girl, while others (in the context of the film) are, I guess, fated to have their guys burned out of the eye sockets and doomed to panhandling. It's written! It's the feel good flick of the year, indeed!"

Joseph I know you'll continue to be attacked for this but I just want to thank you. Sir, it feels good to know that I wasn't the only one who found the whole "it is written" concept to be as tacky as all hell.

Thanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)

(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)

URL:
Remember me? YesNo

Comments: