The Hot Blog

Christ, can Kamikaze go back on vacation?

Let's start a fucking collection. I get bored just seeing his irrelevant name.

Maybe I'll start posting 17 times a day on a Liverpool-based cricket blog about shit no one cares about.

ANYONE ELSE listening to A LONG DECEMBER by COUNTING CROWS on their iPod and remembering being 24 years old when that DROPPED and auditioning for managers and cattle calls and feeling like you'd be SAG-elligible within months, but instead you pussied out and went to your 9-6 day job and worked in a cubicle essentially going frame by frame through SOMEONE ELSE'S CREATIVITY for a decade plus?

WHERE DOES THE TIME GO?

If I was 1997 ADAM DURITZ I'd line up 47 hot chicks and work that lineup like Hidden Ranch.

IF you know what I mean.

HEY MCDOUCHE, wanna go on a gay adventure tomorrow night and hit some tattoo parlors on the Strip together?

I want to get a fucking tat across my stomach or chest.

Or I should get a TATTOO of MYSELF on my chest where McBride had one of his kid in Observe; That shit was FUNNY AS FUCKING FUCK.

GodDAMN did that movie FUCKING RULE. I should get "FARIS" or "KSTEW" tattooed across my fucking guns.

Because "TRACHTENBERG" would be too wordy.

Chill out, dude. I don't want you getting banned.

Fuckin' hell, what did I do this time?

And to think I was all pumped up about the new Antichrist trailer (courtesy of InContention). Thanks for ruining that.

At least now there's proof that when I get attacked it's for absolutely no reason. I should bookmark this entry.

Lex is like Santa Claus, Kam. He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake (maybe - there is the whole time difference thing), he's when you've been bad or good, etc.

And somewhere in front of a laptop, Dave's wagging a finger at Lex and saying, "I'm warning you - I mean it! Really this time! Don't you push me! You'll be sorry, Lex! You just wait and see!"

Ahhhh...Tuesday mornings...

Hallick: Two words: Dean Wormer

Why do I need to be present to watch Lex get a tattoo?

I think Lex should get a tattoo of his face, on his face, just to confuse people.

Back from a working trip! And you guys is crazy.

Didn't Butt-head want to get a tattoo of a butt on his butt?...

In fact, it was a butt with a butt-shaped mark on it...on his butt.

'Hallick: Two words: Dean Wormer'

lmao. thanks, joe, i'm gonna watch 'the house' tonight

Well, this isn't a butt on a butt, but it is another reason to avoid Domino's: http://www.goodasyou.org/good_as_you/2009/04/video-let-the-dominoes-appall.html

oh man, i coulda gone my whole life without seeing what's on that link. you're a bad dog, mutiny, bad dog!

"oh man, i coulda gone my whole life without seeing what's on that link."

leah, think about it this way: a few lucky people could have gone their whole lives without EATING what's on that link.

"I think Lex should get a tattoo of his face, on his face, just to confuse people."

I had an extra 57 pounds tattoo'd all over my body just to keep myself from looking like the Adonis that I otherwise would be.

Has anyone ever considered doing one of those YouTube "Downfall" parody videos, with Hitler being David Poland? I wonder how that'd turn out...

I am surprised -- no, amazed -- by how much fun I had tonight at 12 Rounds. No kidding.

"I am surprised -- no, amazed -- by how much fun I had tonight at 12 Rounds. No kidding."

What was it comparable to, as far as surprises go? Was it innovative in cool little ways or wittier than it had any right to be? What's the scoop?

Joe, was it because while John Cena was kicking ass you started gobblin' the woman's tribble who was seated next to you?

When John Cena was huffin'n'puffin for revenge, were you splashing some texan wildfire on that lady's baby Cha-Ka?

Just enjoyable meat-and-potatoes moviemaking, served up with style and speed. Don't get me wrong -- nobody reinvented the wheel here. But I guess I was expecting something totally useless. The damn thing rocked. Not anywhere as good as Four Brothers -- but THAT sort of pleasant surprise.

Reason #56 to never give up hope Lex...Susan Boyle didn't

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

Ant & Dec are hilarious ('managing the stage').

Maybe Sony BMG will sign her to a deal. She doesn't need voice training to sell records.

Before you say anything about her being old and *not hot* Lex--guess what... she's famous now, and you are not.

Go do something positive with yourself...tenacity is the key.

SImon Cowell certainly has had some work done in the last year. He's starting to look non-descript.

Welcome back from your Hollies Kam. I hope I'm in NYC soon too. Sorry you got poisoned 'ol chum.

Am I the only one who appreciated Quentin Tarantino's tribute to Frankenstein's monster on American Idol tonight? I thought it dovetailed nicely with the movie night theme.

Otherwise, easy listening city! And the guy that chose "Falling Slowly" damn well picked the wrong song from "Once". You gotta go for "When Your Mind's Made Up" because it has that stratospheric point that would've destroyed the crowd, even if you got pitchy (or shouty)!

JBD: Nah, I was there with my wife. She doesn't put up with that crap in public. And she sure as hell doesn't want any hot sauce on her jellyroll.

Lex,

As insightful as I find Poland and a select few commentors here, I have to admit, you are part of the reason that has I keep coming back.

At first, my fascination with you was based solely on the "train wreck" value. Even you must admit that there are moments where you go off the rails with your comments. And most of those moments are an amazing opportunity to study/observe something or someone so completely deranged and absent the filter everyone else has given into over the years that it makes for a must read.

Just to put this in context, let me say this:

I am you, in a strange sort of way. I am just about your age, 38. I always believed or at least was told that I was meant for great things in this world(and I bought into it). And after way too many years of absorbing the celebrity culture we now live in, I had convinced myself that if I wasn't a doctor, lawyer, Wall Street baron or better yet, in the world we both seem to have in common(or obessess ourselves with), an actor, director, screenwriter or some kind of movie/tv someone that I had failed.

So we both generally spend our days and nights thinking about how things went wrong and how this asshole or that no talent hack is now a household name and we remain anonymous nobodies. How, if given the right circumstances, we would have been "contenders".

I get all that. And about 90% of my being can't help but agree and want to rage againt the machine just like you do in your inimitable way.

So here's the thing:

I come here to detach from reality for a little bit. To engage in conversation with like minded people and perhaps engage in rigorous debate that allows me to disengage from the sad reality of my life and think for a few minutes that my point of view might have some kind of pertinence and occasionally be validated. And even more often be told I am full of shit. This whole exercise let's me feel a little bit like I am a small part of the world that I know I will never be fully involved in but I still have a voice.

So I guess my point in this long-winded bs is to say that I love a lot of what you do. You have incredible insight and an unbelievable point of view. I was reading some of your comments about The Spirit and lost inside your normal gradstanding, were some really salient points. But then, just as is par for the course with you, it becomes about how the world has wronged you and how you weren't fortunate enough to be born a Barrymore or have the right contacts in Hollywood to be the person you think you deserved to be.

Man, take the talents God(or whatever or whoever you believe in) and let loose! Your focused thoughts are worthy of a lot of the recognition you obviously crave. Inside nearly every post you make are really impressive observations that only a handful of so called "movie critics" will ever have the brains to write.

But as for the whinning and self-loathing, please, drop it. I wish I had an ounce of your talent. If I did, then I would wake each morning knowing no matter how shitty my life might be, I had something special to offer to the world. And would focus my anger/narcissism on trying to grab the attention of the many people you converse with here on the Hot Blog daily and perhaps be taken seriously.

By the way, I am a basic asshole myself. But I think if most who post on this blog were asked they would say a lot of what I just did.

HoopersX FTW, greatest post ever. Though trust me dude, as dozens here will testify, I'm really not very talented. But the words are much appreciated.

Unrelated:

Guess who's listening to NOBODY'S FOOL, the Kenny Loggins theme to CADDYSHACK 2 on his NANO? YEP YEP.

Hey, what the hell was up with Tarantino's "hair" on AI tonight? Also hilarious how Seacrest's softball narration COULDN'T NAME his next movie: "QT is working on... his upcoming WWII Movie"-- CUT, THANK YOU. Can't say BASTERDS on G-rated Idol, I guess.

Since they've eliminated the only hot chicks (Alexis, or especially awesome sexy/crazy Megan), this year's IDOL is a TOTAL WASTE of time for any cocksmiths. Adam is running with this shit, so good for him, though Gokey's Bloated Downey Jr. routine is giving it a go. Everyone else is a right douche.

You know what would RULE? Is if I knew Christina Ricci, or if anyone of you knew her, and could arrange for me to take a photograph with her.

My all time fantasy would be like if I could TAKE A PHOTO with the Ricci, Hilton, K-STEW, etc etc... and in the pic she and I are touching heads and the hot chick throws up the fucking Dio maloik Sign of the Best. Would fucking OWN if I could get my pic taken with a FAMOUS CELEBRICHICK throwin up the HORNS.

Fuck, I would quit posting here tomorrow if someone could arrange a pic where I'm head to head posing with some chick on my QUEUE where she's all throwing up THE FUCKING HORNS.

On a similar note, anyone see Lindsay Lohan's Funny or Die eHarmony ad? AWESOME. Where do I sign up? LOVE HER.

Biggest laugh I had all day was the YouTube video where Jamie Foxx is clownin' Terrence Howard on the Big Boy show. HOLY SHIT is that funny, especially Foxx's tale of HOWARD showing up in a ZOOT SUIT at a basketball game because he wouldn't break character.

WHAT'S UP WITH THIS HUSTLE AND FLOW MAYNE?

Come to the Fangoria convention and I can introduce you to Eve Mauro, who will totally do the devil sign.

Best I can do. She's in Land of the Lost.

damn, that voice, it gets to me like no other. rest in peace, karen, you were the bomb

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jgs8zeKegs4

(i'm perfectly aware this may be the pinnacle of the mount everest of lame to some (or many) but i don't give a shit so don't bother telling me so)

Karen Carpenter is excellent! I could listen to "Rainy Days and Mondays" and "Superstar" on repeat for hours and hours. Nothing lame about that. Now if it were Marie Osmond... :/

Now why are we discussing her?

Love that Loggins song, I don't think Loggins even released an album in the eighties, just made a mint doing cheesy songs for summer movies. When was the last time a film song even made the charts? Granted I don't listen to the radio much but the last time I recall hearing a song on the radio from a film was the travesty 'I Don't Want to miss a thing' and that was about a decade ago.

hcat - though I don't keep up on the charts, I believe the soundtrack to STEP UP was a big deal.

And I bet one of the Hannah Montana songs is doing well right now too.

I mostly listen to rock stations, and probably the last big one I remember is the Limp Bizkit Mission Impossible 2 remix.

Smashing Pumpkins' "Eye" from Last Highway occasionally gets KROQ play too.

I mean, of course, LOST HIGHWAY.

Saw it 7 times in the theater. You'd think I wouldn't mess that up.

Since you mentioned Step Up, it reminded me of the new Channing Tatum film. How lazy of a screenwriter do you have to be to name your movie Fighting?

The funny thing is having worked at a theater I know there will still be people at the box office, squinting at the times, holding up the lines, and asking "Fighting, so what's that about?"

I just heard that Eddie Vedder song from "Into The Wild" yesterday on the radio at work, which was kind of a surprise occurence.

But who didn't hear Flo Rida's "Low" from "Step Up 2:The Streets" last year? You gotta hook up with that "urban" radio, hcat.

Well I will admit I'm a little out of it. and I am sure I heard "Low" last year and just didn't identify it with the movie. But that is sort of what I am talking about. "I will always love you", "Anything I do I do it for you", while awful, were inescapable and everyone knew which movies they were related to.

I think if you ask most people what song they remember most from a movie in the last five years it would probably be "Move It" from Madagascar.

Paramore's "Decode" from Twilight, way back in 2008.

CADDYSHACK 2 is one of the worst movies in the history of the medium. It's absolutely unwatchable yet you can't take your eyes off the car crash of talent struggling with a script that has no humor in it. I particularly adore the idea that producers thought Jackie Mason was going to be the new Rodney Dangerfield...Instead Mason now spends his days bitterly railing about Hollywood on youtube. Had we made him a star...

Lex:
You wanna see Jamie Foxx eviscerate a dude? Check out this clip from Emmitt Smith's celebrity roast. Halfway through this guy's unfunny shtick, Foxx starts whispering into a lapel mic, acting as the unfunny comedian's conscience. It's brutal.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYn0t_ocs04&feature=related

I would like to see Robert DeNiro and Johnny Depp in "Acting."

Ju-oh: Yeah, I've seen that Doug Williams/Jamie Foxx roast clip several times, and Foxx full-on owns that dude. Just merciless and awesome. Like, you can feel the air sucking out of the room when the guy starts pissing off Shaq with those corny jokes, and by the time this nobody's bagging on Foxx's movie career, of all things, all bets are off. Doubly brutal because the entire panel of legends is clearly on Foxx's side and just rolling at the beatdown getting served.

Looks like 30-year-old B-BOY CHANNING TATUM'S main opponent in Fighting is no less an awesome luminary than Brian J. White, aka Tavon From the Shield (and also Cena's partner in the aforementioned, awesome 12 Rounds.) That dude OWNS in everything he's in, and needs to be bumped up to low-rent leading man status.

If Bradley Cooper can be pimped as some sort of A-list star, this guy could at least be the new Morris Chestnutt.

Tavon is awesome. But if he becomes a star, I want to see him sport the pointy green goatee he had in DOA.

'Karen Carpenter is excellent'

yay, kam! none other like her, her voice was absolutely sublime (marie osmond isn't fit to lick the bottom of karen's shoe after she's walked through a sheep paddock)

the end of 'into the wild' makes me sob like a blubbering, pathetic sooky baby

damn, the reason i was going to post in the first place and then got distracted:

for me, the most memorable song used in a recent movie is 'shadow on the sun' by audioslave in 'collateral'; mann's ear is terrific and his effective use of music in film is rather unparallelled

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpxGGekqBjM

Marie Osmond isn't fit to eat Karen Carpenter's untouched dinner.

"Marie Osmond isn't fit to eat Karen Carpenter's untouched dinner."

But "Eating Karen Carpenter" would make an awesome movie title.

I wrote on my blog recently - when discussing Ray Parker Jr's "Ghostbusters" - about the lack of fun songs written for films. Sure, there are songs like Flo Rida's "Low", but that would have existed without the movie anyway so doesn't really count. Where are songs like "Flashdance (What a Feeling)" or "Footloose" or "Fame" or "Ghostbusters" or "Danger Zone" or "Take My Breath Away" or so on. If it were made in the '80s both Hancock and Iron Man would have had AMAZING theme songs.

I think the last true bonafide example of it was "Independent Women" by Destiny's Child from Charlie's Angels.

The MI:2 Bizkiy song owns, but that's like six or seven years on; I assume stuff like Once or Hustle and Flow doesn't count because they're kind of downers and I think we're talking more about some awesome Kenny Loggins/Huey Lewis type "theme" song. MI:3 had some half-assed Kanye West theme song, but it was an end-credits afterthought.

Though the S.W.A.T. closing credits song called "Samuel L. Jackson" was both SERIOUSLY fucking terrible AND a bizarre fourth-wall breaker. Imagine if "Training Day" kicked off with a jingle recounting Denzel Washington's career highlights.

Unrelated topic, all you G4 dorks: Who is this SMOKING HOT TALL AWESOME CHICK on Fallon named Morgan Webb? She's like a taller, geekier Keira Knightley and is HOT AS FUCK.

I should be co-hosting some show with a chick like this.

GOOD. IDEA.

re: fun songs written for film.... HSM3 certainly had a couple of notable entries (if you're gonna cite 'footloose' and 'fame', 'hsm3' is certainly valid)....
and, for better or worse, the bond films get a pass for always having, at least, one original song that speaks to the film.....
and then there's the animated stuff....

re: karen carpenter --- 'bless the beasts and the children' for the movie of the same name...perfect for time and place.....

lex -- two words...'olivia munn'....watch 'attack of the show'....munn owns....

Oh, and because I feel like pissing off Kim Voynar and Kamikaze in one fell swoop, but if I'm being honest:

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs SERIOUSLY need a more attractive singer. This chick is on Fallon now and she's homely as fuck. Like, when I hear the Yeah Yeah Yeahs they actually kinda come close to owning if I picture some hot-ass chick singing this shit, like Avril Lavigne or Gwen Stefani or Alicia Keys. That "Phenomenon" song is awesome.

But then I see them and it's some ugly chick with a Moe from 3 Stooges BOWL CUT who looks like Marilyn Manson's LESS feminine sister, and the music doesn't even rock anymore. Suddenly I'm all embarrassed to have listened to some ugly chick.

I think the lesson at hand here is: Ladies need to be hot or they NEED NOT APPLY.

Has anyone tried out those new motion simulator D-BOX movie theater seats?

They have them at the Mann Chinese six-plex in theater six. Costs $17 for those seats, but you can try them out for free in the lobby with "Fast and Furious" trailer.

It makes for seriously awesome trailer viewing, but I worry I'd get motion-sick after a whole feature. Has anyone written about this deal yet? I volunteer myself if anyone needs a guinea pig and will pay for my ticket.

LYT-

That seems like what studios are trying to do with 3D and even BluRay- present something you simply cannot download illegally and have it be worth a shit and then, charge extra to let you have it. I also have a theory that the resurgence of vinyl fits into this category.

"I think the lesson at hand here is: Ladies need to be hot or they NEED NOT APPLY."

You said nobody's been applying either way.

Why would they with a cretinous beast like Lex?

Were the High School Musical songs released as singles though? I think that one from the original - "Breaking Free" - was, but that's the only one I am aware of. One movie "theme" type song I forgot was "Theme From St. Trinians" by Girls Aloud. Awesome stuff.

i'm such a doofus, i didn't realise the subject was 'songs written specifically for a movie' when i posted my 'shadow on the sun' remark, duh

further to nothing, i have the WORST on-going girl-crush on rachel mcadams. i just want to go out on the town with her, drink cocktails in swanky lounges and get pissed as a fart and stumble around on our high heels like a couple of idiots. kinda creepy, really

GOOD IDEA LEAH HELLZ YES.

I just posted it in another thread but THE GODDESS MCADAMSHOTNESS was just on FALLON and didn't look quite as smoking as I remember from RED EYE (more like RED BONER) or BONER CRASHERS or THE BONEBOOK, but she was still cute.

I want to ask her to go to the EL TORITO and then I'd break out my coupons for a free entree and tell her that JUST FOR HER, she can have an extra margarita if she loans me a tenner, then we'd go back to my JR. ONE BEDROOM and listen to WREXXX N EFFECT while she kicked off her shoes and danced on my sofa while I chugged my RALPH'S BRAND WHISKEY that used the discount card for, OUT OF PLASTIC RED CUPS and shit.

I RULE.

this using of coupons may be where you're going wrong, lex. maybe you'd better come out with us instead, girls just wanna have fun

(ah, blogging to oneself, perhaps a sure sign lunacy beckons)

but speaking of creepy, i saw a hedgehog squished with its guts out on the road earlier tonight - one of the things in life that really creeps me out/makes my skin crawl (squished animals on the road) - and it got me to thinking about some of the other weird little things that seriously freak me out and/or give me the jeebies:

- chimps in the zoo (violent, evil minions of lucifer)
- carnival calliope music
- clowns (i know everyone says clowns but i fucking hate them, 'they all float down here...')
- touching worms
- morgues w/cadavers
- HAL
- 'something wicked this way comes' (see: calliope music; i'm sure the two are somehow related)
- rourke's post-butchery face (that sounds so cliche and 'last week' but it really does put the fear of god in me)
- lonely, deserted highways at night
- really old people's liver-spotted scalps that you can see through their thinned/sparse hair
- anything having to do with liberace

sadly i could go on, but the point is, i hope i'm not the only person who has these 'weird willies', these personal demons with which to deal. someone should make a really scary movie incorporating all these things, they'd have me at 'hello'

"- touching worms
- morgues w/cadavers
- HAL"

Hey, heyyyy, ouuuch! Jeez - I'm ranked higher than liver-spotted scalps and Mickey Rourke's mug?

So basically, your creepiest sight of all time would be an 85 year-old me on Halloween dressed like a monkey in a clown outfit, squished on a deserted highway by a calliope with worms coming out of my liver-spotted scalp, only to be found by Mickey Rourke heading back to his motel in costume after wrapping his one man show "LiberaCHE!", where he plays both characters in the lesser known encounter between Liberace and Che Guevara and their struggle to decide which one's going to buy the last copy of "Something Wicked This Way Comes"?

You freak me, leah =)

LMAO hallick, somehow only you could put that film together and make it work! (i was in a really strange mood last night and unfortunately i got to babbling, but it could have been worse, believe me!)

The problem, Kam, is that those songs are all pure Eighties cheese of the worst type, the musical equivalent of Paul Blart or chicken mcnuggets.

The S.W.A.T. movie was real? I always figured that was a fake joke trailer.

Huh? No way. "Flashdance (What a Feeling)", "Fame" and "Ghostbusters" are nothing but brilliant. But, then again, pop music poster 1970s is lost on many people.

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