The Hot Blog

Easter greetings to one and all!

Fuck Easter. It's my birthday.

Speaking of LA, was at the Arclight last night and it was empty as hell on a Saturday night. Guess that's what happens when they can't book in "Hannah Montana" thanks to the El Cap and "Fast and Furious" due to - I guess - Mann's?

"Crank: High Voltage" countdown week begins!

mutinyco: I dunno, ANYBODY can be born. But resurrection is truly impressive. :)

The "South Park" guys own an autographed photo of Saddam Hussein. Too bad it wasn't from 1983.

i have ten people coming over for our traditional mutinyco ham and now leydon throws fucking easter into the mix.....i have no idea what to make for easter.....

Maybe mutinyco is coming back...Happy Birthday!

Scoot: Chocolate bunnies and ham? All the major food groups!

Speaking of mutiny, can't wait to see the FOX tea parties in action the week Obama ordered the Navy to rescue Captain Phillips...The juxtaposition of the Beck-crazy mass accusing BO of fascism and Navy Seals getting medals from the President will be RICH.

With the ressurection theme in play today, i think we need to give Dave the chance to rise from the dead.

Dave's 09 could be boiled down to this:

"There's nothing worth watching this time of year"
"Yes, i watched a bootleg and reviewed it, but it's completely different because of the context."
NICHE... IT'S ALL NICHE!
FINKE'S A HORRID, ITCHY VAGINA!

2 Actual reviews and a lot of pablum.

Here's for a more productive, film enjoying Hot Blog.

Anghus, maybe you should ask Dave for your money back.

^^^^^^^^
That made me laugh . . .

can you imagine anyone paying to read this?

Remember 10 years ago when the model was supposedly moving to subscription content?

Are there any websites whose content is actually worth paying for?

And please, for the love of god, no one reply 'porn'.

Anghus: You get what you pay for.

OT, but 9 to 5: The Musical is pretty darn great. Allison Janney is a bit shaky, but should get better as she goes along. Stephanie Block is great and Megan Hilty does a spot on Dolly Parton impression. The sets are great too, but the best part of it is Parton's songs. She wrote the lyrics and music of all the songs and they just prove that she is one of the finest writers of her time. So do check it out if you can.

Also: Saw August: Osage County. Is it true Toni Collette is in talks for the lead? That would be quite amazing, actually.

i loved the 9 to 5 music (much more than i expected to) but was especially impressed by the scope of the show....it's huuuuuuuuuuuge...and the sets so well designed....i thought all three women were pretty wonderful and janney's show-stopper worked pretty well opening night....
how you feeling kam? tummy trouble gone?...

"Allison Janney is a bit shaky, but should get better as she goes along."

she's been doing the show for almost a year.....

I liked 9 to 5: The Musical, but have to admit, I kind of thought the songs were the weakest part of an otherwise solid show - aside from the strong titular number. But maybe it's because the opening song is so great that I didn't think the others lived up. Janney in her fantasy sequence was golden, though.

And if that's true about Toni Collette - awesome!!

Well, Happy Birthday to you, mutinyco. I had Easter happen on my birthday (March 27) only one time. In 2016, it will be on my birthday once again; that will be the only other time in my lifetime. LOL

Angela

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Janney's "One of the Boys" was her best bit, I agree. She's only just started on Broadway though, right?

Scoot, the size of the production was so impressive. So surprising and wonderfully detailed and great to figure out where each new set was going to pop out from.

And, yes, much better now thanks. I got upgraded to business class on the flight home!

glad to hear you're better (yay! upgrades).... janney's been with the show since day one...i saw her here in l.a......btw-- janney's 'one of the boys' was an homage to lauren bacall's 'one of the boys' from 'woman of the year'.....youtube it....

But all those early shows have only been tests, right? That was my understanding. They test them outside of Broadway until they think they're ready. Something just seemed a bit off about Janney towards the start.

BTW, I found an old newspaper clipping for the original 1980 release of 9 to 5 featuring a quote from... Jeffrey Lyons!

http://bp0.blogger.com/_eUQlNM1p56Y/RdhdkacFnAI/AAAAAAAAAQA/TVMWMOyyGxc/s1600-h/9+to+5+Newspaper+Ad.jpg

apropos of not much but, maybe, of interest...opening night of '9 to 5' was a gas...totally thrilled by allison janney...six weeks later, same seat, opening night of 'spring awakening' and i'm sitting next to ....allison janney....of course, had to tell her how surreal that was...of course, she looked at me like i was nuts....

re: tests.... not so much anymor, kam...shows used to have 'out-of-town previews'....but, these days, actually open out-of-town....los angeles, la jolla, san diego have all opened shows that went on to broadway.....

I always thought the out-of-town bit was to avoid deadly Broadway reviewers, so the kinks were worked out elsewhere (or maybe I'm just thinking of Bing Crosby in "The Country Girl"), but the out-of-town runs by "Shrek" and "Little Mermaid" still feel a little more in line with that thought than, say, the L.A. premieres of "9 to 5," "Minsky's" or "The Drowsy Chaperone" even though it's obvious those casts were being made Broadway-ready. No idea why I think that, though.

Doing "Ain't Misbehavin'" in a couple of weeks, but have no idea how that's going to be. That said, I bought "Dirty Dancing" tix for next month while kind of closing one eye and hoping for not another goddamn "Thoroughly Modern Millie."

sjr -- i highly recommend 'louis and keely - live at the sahara' @ the geffen...it's changed a bit since moving from sacred fools and being taken over by taylor hackford but still pretty special...

I just watched PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION on one of the HBO channels.

That's the worst Lindsay Lohan movie ever. She doesn't even wear any hot outfits or anything.

But seriously, apologies and all and RIP Altman, but that's gotta be way, way down there with his absolute worst movies. Indulgent and irritating, Garrison Keiler is a DOUCHE, Kevin Kline, Meryl Streep and Virginia Madsen are just TERRIBLE in it. Could be just that I have no interest in, or connection to, the folksy material, and Altman's collectivist "we are family" vibe really clangs when he's on a bad day. (I prefer his more misanthropic, genre-bending movies to his bongwater-soaked love-ins.)

I guess the feeling of elegy and memory are well conveyed, but a lot of good actors are pretty much wasted doing those corny, cutesy songs for reels at a time.

He's also a director who was really so in awe of women that he was no fun at all in providing eye candy. Almost all the women in his movies are naturalistic simpletons or frumpy matrons who look like they have bad hygiene.

Altman's a master, no doubt, but when his movies are over I always want to rush to the nearest Bay or Besson flick and see some long-limbed gun-toting mannequin with her navel all glistening.

What, are you taking the day off from your job? Shouldn't you be writing or auditioning instead of watching HBO?

Any thoughts on the movie, Officer Jeff?

I don't go to work till I fucking feel like it.

Re: the movie - I think you're wrong. Except about Madsen, her part is poorly written and she doesn't do a good job with it.

More and more, though, it's hard to sympathize when you complain about your $70k/year job with flexible hours where you show up routinely drunk or hung-over.

Five days sober, douche.

Congratulations on last showing up to work drunk last Wednesday.

The preceding comment brought to you by a Barrack Obama fan. Exactly how your Lord would behave, eh, Jeff?

If you pretend to love Obama, you must live your life as Jesus/Barrack does: Humble, self-effacing, loving in spirit and kindhearted to all.

Otherwise you are a hypocrite and might as well just admit you're a Republican.

Get back to me when you learn how to spell his name right.

Garrison Keiler is still a douche.

The Roeper/Ebert review of PRAIRIE is fucking legendary; Ebert's all in his Altman loving soft-sell glory, comparing it to like a warm bath or something, then Roeper comes on and brings the fucking TRUTH. About how all the music is terrible and Keiler's voiceover ads are embarrassing and annoying, and how it sucks and is boring as hell.

Again, the sense of elegy and an era passing -- I get all that, but it's an excruciating sit. And I can't imagine that one paying audience member in all of the planet could've actually enjoyed sitting through that TERRIBLE fucking music.

Or Meryl Streep, the worst actress in the history of the world, at least in her post-1988 work,

What. A. Ham.

Prairie Home Companion is a movie for people who own many bluegrass records (yes, records, vinyl) and think NPR is the greatest thing on earth, the best source for news AND entertainment.

Like, if you ever have a conversation with anyone who begins a sentence with "I heard on NPR the other day...", you can safely recommend the movie to them.

'i may throw up on you'

bones meets kirk (swoon):

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809752801/video/12865145

good flick, can't wait to see it again

How does Abrams manage to shoot movies in 2.35 but they still look too small, like you're sitting in the back row of the theater or something?

He's kind of biting Bay's lens flares, credit font, lighting schemes, production design and "space" cinematography from Armageddon.

But where Bay's shit looks all INSANE and unwieldy and enormous and crazy, Abrams is like the action movie equivalent of Soderbergh, where he brings a certain style but it seems "small" and managable even when it's widescreen.

No one will know what I'm talking about. Maybe we're all just too familiar with Abrams' "beats" from Felicity and Alias or Lost, but MI:3, while entertaining, felt like television, and this looks like watching a Bay movie through the wrong end of the binoculars.

No, I haven't seen it.

good grief, what's with phil spector's hair? good luck maintaining that outrageous nutjob 'fro in the big house (maybe he'll just avoid the showers altogether and let it fossilise on his head like that)

i have seen 'trek', lex, and:

'He's kind of biting Bay's lens flares, credit font, lighting schemes, production design and "space" cinematography from Armageddon'

no, no, no, no and no, wrong on all counts (well, to be fair i can't remember the credit font from 'armacrappen' and if you can, lex, you've watched that stinker one too many times. and btw, bay didn't invent the lens flare). what are you on about if you haven't even seen trek? how can you comment on the art direction and space photography, which are NOTHING like that crap movie what you mentioned?

trek is tight, well-shot, smart and character driven with some brilliant navel battles, no resemblance to an overblown bay fucking hockum braindead cheese-fest in the slightest)

Armageddon fucking RULES like the Mighty Kong.

After Boogie Nights, Unforgiven and Pulp Fiction, The Geddon = FOURTH BEST MOVIE OF THE 90s.

And every shot of the ST trailer is a Bay shot. Every. Single. One.

Oh, and leah needs to be reminded that J.J. Abrams WROTE ARMAGEDDON.

hahahahahahaha pwned.

Now I remember why I don't like him.

aw, lex, you're a bit of a teenage boy, aren'tcha?

'And every shot of the ST trailer is a Bay shot. Every. Single. One.'

sadly, bay steals every single good shot he's ever done from someone else so it doesn't mean much, but go on then, name them. shot for shot, lex

and i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but abrams didn't 'write' 'armacrappen' (imdb this):

Writing credits
(WGA)
Robert Roy Pool (story) and
Jonathan Hensleigh (story
Tony Gilroy (adaptation) and
Shane Salerno (adaptation)
Jonathan Hensleigh (screenplay) and
J.J. Abrams (screenplay)

but he was ONE of the screenwriters who worked on the 'armacrappen' script. bummer for him.

perhaps fortunately for all of us, abrams did not write the new 'trek'

Whoa, Tony Gilroy? They didn't mention that in his New Yorker profile from last month.

I better go listen to some NPR to clear my thoughts.

oh, and the writing on 'armacrappen'? not NEARLY as baaaaad as the direction. had that movie been directed by someone who isn't a smarmy simpleton demolition expert, it might have turned out non-laughable!

Bullshit. I sob like a little girl when Willis sacrifices himself instead of Affleck at the last minute then takes that last-minute videophone call from Liv.

Heartbreaking stuff every time.

Then when Will Patton's kid finally recognizes? NOT A DRY EYE IN THE HOUSE.

ARMAGEDDON 1, LEAH 0, McDouche .5 for the witty NPR crack, LEX 1 MILLION for having good taste.

HARRY STAMPER FUCKING RULES.

lex, i'm weirdly fond of you, perhaps because i think in some bizarre way we share some things in common, but sometimes you freak me out and that little exchange above just bummed me out more than anything

'kindred spirit' is the term i was trying for, too late

"He's also a director who was really so in awe of women that he was no fun at all in providing eye candy."

Apparently you missed MASH, NASHVILLE and THE PLAYER...

I think on the DVD commentary of The Player, or somewhere else, Altman says that he intentionally shows Cynthia Stevenson topless, and doesn't show Greta Scacchi, to mess with the audience's expecations. The phrase I vaguely remember him recounting hearing from a studio exec is "You showed the wrong pair of tits!"

But yeah, let's all think of the contradictions inherent in this phrase, "so in awe of women that he was no fun at all in providing eye candy". I know I'd rather spend time with Lily Tomlin than with, say a Michael Bay bimbo, anytime. Ms. Tomlin could probably give me pointers on a certain skill referenced in another post today, too.

oh jeff, i dig what you're saying there and i think your attitude towards women is commendable and tomlin is legend and all, but re: tomlin, you and that certain oral skill: EEEWWWW! (trying to erase that mental picture...trying to superimpose me and karl into that mental picture... oh it's not working! jeff, you've damaged my psyche)

Yikes - I meant a purely theoretical discussion. Maybe with charts and graphs. No field testing.

THANK CHRIST!!!

"Apparently you missed MASH, NASHVILLE and THE PLAYER..."

WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course I've seen those, the first two MANY, many times. But the dude never brings the hot chicks.

Even in DR. T, when he had PRIME era Kate Hudson and Liv Tyler MAKING OUT*, he managed to make it about as sexy as a trip to Jiffy Lube.

* holy SHIT, does anyone remember that TARA REID was in that movie? TARA REID worked with the Coens AND Robert Altman.

hahahahahahaha THAT RULES.

"he managed to make it about as sexy as a trip to Jiffy Lube"

in some circles, that is, indeed, a sexy trip...

Gosh, I quite liked A Prairie Home Companion, even though I never listen to NPR and haven't even heard much Keillor over the years. But I found the inner workings of Keillor's show to be a fascinating place to spend an hour and 45 minutes, populated as it is by (IMO) good music, funny jokes and great performers. And it's certainly interesting as a farewell film. It may be gently jarring to pepper documentary-style realism with literalized depicitons of the supernatural, but it neatly suggests an acceptance of mortality on the part of the film's aging makers.

Yeah true that yancy but since I heard Paul Thomas Anderson was on set to "assist" Altman, I kept hoping Plainview would show up doing lines off Lohan's rack while DRIVER'S SEAT played and Todd Parker came in and robbed everyone.

TOTAL BUMMER.

Five days of sobriety.

Down the fucking tubes.

Kicking it fucking LOHAN STYLE! tonight.

DRINKING FUCKING COMMANDS.

not so much anymore, cameras...shows used to have 'out-of-town previews'....but, these days, actually open out-of-town....los angeles, la jolla, san diego have all opened shows that went on to broadway

Never done on this business i hate that

how is it in la

Did this thread somehow get crossed with somebody's IM chat or something?

But where Bay's shit looks all INSANE and unwieldy and enormous and crazy, Abrams is like the action movie equivalent of Soderbergh, where he brings a certain style but it seems "small" and managable even when it's widescreen.

Nice article.

I really enjoy reading your blog. Keep up the good work.

I quite liked A Prairie Home Companion, even though I never listen to NPR and haven't even heard much Keillor over the years. But I found the inner workings of Keillor's show to be a fascinating place to spend an hour and 45 minutes, populated as it is by (IMO) good music, funny jokes and great performers.
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much anymore, cameras...shows used to have 'out-of-town previews'....but, these days, actually open out-of-town....los angeles, la jolla, san diego have all opened shows that went on to broadway.colon cleanse detox

Seriously, has anyone in the history of the internet ever seen a random link in a blog post and thought, "Cool, I came here to read about film, but as a bonus I get a fellow cinephile's helpful suggestion about colon cleansing. Gotta click that!"

I think it is good to have people from different walk of live commenting on a topic Electric Bicycle

Why does THIS of all threads get bot-ganked every two days?

that comment by Jeffrye above sounds like one of the talking dogs in 'up' -- the grammar slightly off and then a sudden random veer into the absurd: SQUIRREL!!! (except 'electric bicycle!!!' in this case, of course)

Penis enlargment.

Perm: "Penis enlargement."

I think that's what the electric bicycle is for.

it would rule if a bunch of my favorite A-list squacks did a movie where they romped around on beds having a WHIPPED CREAM WAR while they were barefoot and wearing booty shorts and midriff tops and then had a PIEFIGHT and sprayed each other with that 1920s Seltzer water that I don't know if they make anymore, then a couple of them are all giggly and fall on top of each other and start exploring their bodies and going teee heee heee i don't know why but I'm excited let's try kissing, so they start LEZ-KISSING FUCKING BONER CAN YOU IMAGINE, especially with their legs and necks and hair all strewn with COOL WHIP?

Why isn'T every woman on this planet a LESBIAN? It is the ULTIMATE IN INTELLIGENT WORLD DECISIONS. Plus lesbian porn rules because you don't have to see some Valley tweaker's stupid behind-the-nuts shot.

NO HUMAN BEING IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD HAS EVER BEEN MORE HORNY THAN I AM RIGHT NOW.

I am listening to ESTRANGED BY GUNS N ROSES, pretty much the BEST SONG EVER MADE except Limp Bizkit or Kid Rock.

Should I do it? Should I call THE SERVICE from LA WEEKLY? ANOREXIC BLONDE WHITE CHICKS PLEASE.

So many people commenting on this subject!!

Good news, men! The electric bicycle now comes with an electric shaver attachment! (And ladies: it makes the perfect post-penis-enlargement gift.)

Oy.

Bumped again?

Cool, Lex's posts above read just like they could have been written yesterday or a year ago or two years from now (unless he's dead).

Yeah true that yancy but since I heard Paul Thomas Anderson was on set to "assist" Altman, I kept hoping Plainview would show up doing lines off Lohan's rack while DRIVER'S SEAT played and Todd Parker came in and robbed everyone.

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welcome back guys and have a good years ahead.

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