The Hot Blog

I don't know why they keep letting him out in public:

http://gartenblog.net/2009/04/06/lessons-from-the-lgmichael-bay-fiasco-are-self-explanatory/

So the LG phones are actual transformers? That would explain the excess radiation:
http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20090127/lg_phones_090127/20090127?hub=SciTech

Is this thing on?

I have to admit, after catching some of "Semi-Pro" on cable this weekend, I found the bare bones real world backstory about the ABA merger with the NBA far more interesting as a backdrop than almost any other recent sports comedy. Kudos to whoever discovered that footnote and decided you could make a Will Ferrell vehicle out of it.

It's like Adam Resnick sneaking in weird references to the closing of Coney Island methadone clinics into "Death to Smoochy."

I have to admit, after catching some of "Semi-Pro" on cable this weekend, I found the bare bones real world backstory about the ABA merger with the NBA far more interesting as a backdrop than almost any other recent sports comedy. Kudos to whoever discovered that footnote and decided you could make a Will Ferrell vehicle out of it.

It's like Adam Resnick sneaking in weird references to the closing of Coney Island methadone clinics into "Death to Smoochy."

Gotta love a BYOB day:

This morning Jeff Wells posted that he and some buddies urinated into thousands of cans of billion dollar company Del Monte peas and beans. Now, his site is experiencing "issues."

There's a reason why newspapers and magazines have legal counsel...

Not So Instant Karma...

How come people who love Chicago are SO into Chicago????

I visited there once and didn't get it AT ALL. Like, sure, it seemed like a nice place, but the accents were annoying, and it just seemed like a ritzier version of Cleveland, Pittsburgh, or Buffalo: Blue collar sports town with a lot of 'stached pasty white people WAY too into sports.

Come to think of it, WHY does ANYONE in modern America have a THICK REGIONAL ACCENT?

Chicaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahgo. STUPID FUCKING ACCENT. Here's an idea: Don't speak with an accent.

And unrelated to anything, WHEN is anyone going to give me some backup and acknowledge that in recent weeks/months, the CARSON DALY SHOW has gone from TRADITIONAL TALK SHOW to some WEIRD-ASS STOP MOTION DOCUMENTARY where CARSON prowls the mean streets of L.A. getting tattoos and interviewing musicians in mind-numbing shot-on-film, skipped-frame impressionistic segments that look like they were edited on WINDOWS MOVIE MAKER?

And at 30-something years old, isn't Carson, or Ryan Seacrest, or ANYONE, too OLD to be taking music seriously?

Popular music is bullshit made by 25 year olds pretending to be 18 for the benefit of 15 year olds.

Anytime I read some EW "MUSIC REVIEW" where the poseur 40ish "rock critic" is taking the lyrics ALL SERIOUSLY, I just cringe.

Give it up. Music is a YOUNG MAN'S GAME.

If you went to a concert of a given act, would anyone there in the audience be your age? No? If not, you're too old for that band.

Lex, aren't you an admitted Limp Bizkit fan?

FUCK YEAH

"LIMP BIZKIT IS ROCKIN THE SET
IT'S LIKE RUSSIAN ROULETTE WHEN YOU'RE PLACING YOUR BET"

BEST BAND 4 EVER. DURST = GOD.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...

IT'S THE CHOCOLATE STARFISH....

AND THE HOT DOG FLAVORED WATER."

GOOD MUSIC.

DURST IS MY IDOL. Still PISSED I missed his CHARLIE BANKS Q%A last week. I hope he'll forgive his NUMBER ONE FAN.

DURST = GOD. BOW TO HIM. BOW.

And before you scoff, give me one reason how YOUR life is better than Fred Durst's has been.

I DIDN'T THINK SO.

Seriously though, speaking of GREAT MUSIC, this is MY ANTHEM.

I bump this shit when I roll down Sunset in my '89 Taurus, all blasting it and mean-mugging the Fast and Furious wannabes in the next lane. They can usually only bow down... Especially when I roar thru the Chateau Marmont parking lot, I'm all bumping this shit and throwing up hand gestures. Usually like five or ten hot chicks rush over to my window but like Vanilla Ice, I just roll by.

Anyway, the song of a generation, highly recommended for any LA hangers-on when you cruise the boulevard looking for oiled-up vixens:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4iGDSjOpXc&feature=related

GOOD MUSIC.

Going back to Lex's accent remark, I'm sorry, but that thick, dumb Jersey/NY guy accent is the worst. The Southern accents of my SC homeland are poetry compared to that guttural series of grunts and clicks.

Lex I lived in Chicago until not too long ago. You'd fit right in at Wrigley Field in the Bleachers. You're a little older than the average "fan" out there, but you seem to like liquor and obnoxiousness just as much.

"Popular music is bullshit made by 25 year olds pretending to be 18 for the benefit of 15 year olds.

Give it up. Music is a YOUNG MAN'S GAME."

Lex, are you considering a career change? By which I mean, instead of spending your free time whining about your lack of an acting career, will you now be whining about your lack of a music career?

PS: To Chicagoans, _you're_ the one with the accent.

Lex has that Los Angeles accent: loud and stupid?

He's going to get Ray-o-graphed !!!

Speaking of popular music: http://www.cmt.com/videos/john-rich-country/367274/shuttin-detroit-down.jhtml?

Just to make sure everyone reads my genius, I'll post here:

My new dream job is to work at TMZ so I could BE ON THAT AWESOME TV SHOW. The blonde haired dude is my FUCKING IDOL, and I like the pissy blonde chick with the scrunched face who's all catty. And I like the Margot Kidder chicker. And my new crush is the cute brunette who sits next to Surfer Dude and thinks she has the inside track. She owns.

I do NOT LIKE that prick John Cusack dude, he's way too smarmy and unsavory. Also, the Southern dude with the cheesy beard who's always wearing his college shirt seems like a bit of a dick.

NOW SOMEONE FUCKING FORWARD THIS POST over there so they give me some fucking props, or better yet, a JOB.

TMZ OWNS ALL, BEST SHOW IN THE WORLD, I watch it every night now and HARVEY LEVIN IS GOD and my IDOL and the GUY FUCKING OWNS.

Poland, you should make this blog more like TMZ and you should be more like GOD LEVIN.

TMZ OWNS. GIVE ME A FUCKING JOB. If you're interested, Harvey, hit up Poland or Lou to get in touch with me.

Oh, yeah, I've got a camcorder and I'd rather stand in front of KATSU YA (not KATSOOOOOO-YA, you ROUND EYE DUMBASS MOTHERFUCKERS) and film good looking people than work in a fucking POST HOUSE with a bunch of dudes and no hot ass chicks.

HIT ME UP and GIVE ME A FUCKING JOB. LEX FOR TMZ IN '09.

I AM YOUR GOD. BOW TO ME.

FIVE GREATEST PEOPLE ON PLANET EARTH:

1) K-STEW
2) ALBA
3) HATHAWAY/HILTON/BIEL (tie)
4) RICCI
5) K-STEW AGAIN

GOOD RANKING.

Like I said...Lex's LA accent is quite pronounced.

Is this his 5th or 6th strike? I lost count.

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