The Hot Blog

Hey ho
Let the bombs blow
Let the dominoes fall
I ain't got control

Keep America clean

Gimme a shotgun and an M-16

I love that Chucky refuses to see movies that name-check previous credits of those involved. I have not read anything that ridiculous in moments. MOMENTS!

I'm watching the Tony Awards, and Will Ferrell is bombing. Even looks bad. Maybe he just read about the opening weekend grosses for Land of the Lost?

Joe-

Any plans to go see this? It's playing in Austin... http://www.filmmakermagazine.com/blog/2009/06/ive-never-been-to-that-town-but-ive.php

Any of you old-school film cats interviewed John Cusack? If so, suggestions?

Ask him extensively about ONE CRAZY SUMMER.

Christian's right. Ask him if he sees One Crazy Summer and Better Off Dead as apart of an unfinished trilogy and a precursor to The Matrix or better yet, ask him how he liked having his name endlessly circle Spider-Man for the entire 90's when he was barely working. Cusack is such an unserious, unpretensious guy, the odds of him punching you are no better than 50/50...before you ask.

Don't bullshit him. He's smarter than you are. (And I am using the generic, not the specific, "you" here.)

Mutiny: It's not on my to-do list. Should it be?

My favorite global news of the day.

Sweden's Pirate Party captures Euro seat

http://af.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idAFTRE55623320090607

Nothing I would love more than to see Europe cut a few heads off the IP hydra. The most concocted and manufactured industry in American histowa.

Joe - please tell me your joking?

People watch the Tony Awards?

Martin: I don't mean he's a tough interview. I've had very good one-on-one experiences with him. I'm saying, after seeing him operate during round tables, that he isn't impressed by BS.

Joe-

That's the thing -- nobody knows. When the trailer hit Apple a few months ago it was a sensation because it was so batshit. People thought it was a hoax. But it wasn't. Now it finally opened this weekend in half a dozen theaters with no press, no screeners, nothing.

Everybody who saw the trailer wants to know what's up?...

Movieline even did a post on Friday begging for anybody who sees it to send in reactions.

Glad about the BS, as that's just about the last thing I have in my DNA.

Mutiny: Oh. No offense but, seriously: I was afraid you were going to tell me you had something to do with it, and were trying to finagle a review.

Just watched the trailer...don't know why people would think it's a hoax. If you ever get involved with local arts and the local film scene in pretty much any town, you'll see dozens of movies that look like that.

Although they claim that movie had a five million dollar budget? THAT sounds like a dubious claim because unless the director paid everyone involved half a million each, I don't see where that money could have gone.

Who opned that in half a dozen theaters? Someone who hates money? Maybe that's where the five million went.

I would have spent some of that money to buy more than one light.

You guys have heard of "four-walling," right?

Nah. No involvement. Just figured you were in driving distance of one of the locations. Might be funny to see a Variety review of it.

I am glad coz i sign in here
thanx alot
http://www.5yalk.com/vb

What is this "fowr wailing" of which Joe speaks?

Question still remains...after the movie was finished, who thought it was a great idea to open that in half a dozen theaters? Some deluded motherfucker, that's who.

Just watched The Strangers. Man, life's too short to watch pointless shit like that.

You "four-wall" a theater when you rent it for a week or two or three to show your movie. In the '70s, companies like Sun International "four-walled" theaters to show movies like "The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams" (and pocketed the profits). More recently: You might "four-wall" several theaters to release your film to generate interest in the video release.

Joe, I was kidding!

Josh: Yes, people are watching the Tony Awards. Including this one.

Perm: On this blog, trust me, it's hard to tell sometimes.

I just looked up "RINKO KIKUCHI" in my Japanese-to-English dictionary.

Apparently it roughly translates to "GIANT BONER."

RACHEL WEISZ PLUS BLONDE ASIAN KIKUCHI ON SAME BED = HOLY SHIT GOOD MOVIE.

Another point:

Anyone else rent new-to-DVD KILLSHOT or catch it during its five-day theatrical run in TEMPE, ARIZONA this past January?

I think I... kinda liked it? Obviously, Rourke, Lane, Tom Jane, Rosario Awesome, and Joseph Gordon Levitt in a Caleb Deschanel-shot, John Madden-directed Elmore Leonard adaptation is a case study in EVERYONE being way overqualified for a 90-minute B-movie that plays like some rural-set Burt Reynolds potboiler from his 1988 "MALONE" days.

But Gordon-Levitt's live-wire psycho and Rourke dressed like Gregg Henry's Killer Indian disguise in Body Double made for a nice villain duo, it didn't overstay its welcome and it kept me watching. Nothing special but the kind of thing that would've slayed as 11:30 Showtime fare circa 1991.

Quick question though: Considering THOMAS JANE AS TODD PARKER IN BOOGIE NIGHTS is one of the most indelibly awesome jacked-up maniacs in recent screen history, WHY is he always being cast as a sadsack douche in leading man roles? Give this guy the burns and stache back and let him loose.

I almost want to head up to Lancaster to check it out myself. If they were smart, though, they would have gone the route of Dangerous Men or The Room and concentrated their money into one Laemmle screen here in Los Angeles.

Thought: is Todd Phillips a sort of a modern day Harold Ramis/Ivan Reitman? His movies aren't as good or instantly classic, but they are to a certain section of the audience.

...random. moving on.

The ending's a mess (maybe because of the editing-out of Knoxville?), but I mostly liked "Killshot," too, and I agree that JGL and Rourke are terrific. The Weinstein non-release of that movie is really puzzling. I know it'd have cost money to market it, but it has some marketable elements -- certainly more than "Crossing Over," which did get released, at least. (And it's much better than "Crossing Over")

The Room now plays ALL FIVE houses at the Sunset 5 at once during its once-a-month run.

This month is the 6-year-anniversary. Should be one to catch.

Kam - I can see that, but only in an old-school Ramis/Reitman vibe. Caddyshack, Stripes...pre-Ghostbusters.

But even with the limited gross-outs of the early Ramis/Reitman, you had genuine wit involved, which seems to be missing from today's over-rated frat comedies that leave me stone.

And now it looks like Hangover actually beat Up. Cowabunga.

http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118004657.html?categoryid=11&cs=1&nid=2854

Watch Stripes again. Really not that good past the 30 minute mark.

Of course, I still find it fascinating that it was remade by Kubrick a few years later.

What Stripes really needed was more of Warren Oates.

I agree Joe. The first part of STRIPES is one of my favorite comedies. I like the Bill Murray-Harold Ramis team in New York a lot. But there are great moments throughout and probably my favorite 80's Murray film. That's the fact, jack!

Hey, Lex- I said basically the same thing about "Killshot" a few weeks back. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I personally recommended it to you as something you'd probably dig.
Question to Joe: Why didn't Variety bother giving "KS" a "for the record" review when it hit dvd last month? "Attention must be paid" and all that.

Actually, I vaguely remember a review running near the time of its fleeting Phoenix theatrical run.

I agree - I can't think of a movie that Warren Oates was in that wouldn't have benefitted from having more of him in it.

Are you sure about that, Joe?
I remember checking for a review after watching the dvd, and nothing came up except some production story-type bullshit articles.

Really? Well, maybe I better drop by Best Buy tongiht and pick up a DVD...

Just checked again, Joe, and no "Killshot" review on Variety.com.
Do everyone a favor by filing a "f-t-r" review of a movie that merited a little more dignity and class.
"Killshot" might have never been an awards (or box-office) contender, but it at least deserved an actual theatrical release.

Hey Noah - While I agree with your latest overall column, unwanted sequels, Cameron produced the T3:Experience ride for Universal and it contained a lot of what he wanted to do with another Terminator flick, story and tech-wise. At the time, he said he wanted to use the Terminator series as the launching point for new tech, but once Kassar and Vajna screwed him, he walked away. I have little doubt, going by Cameron's past record as writer, that numerous ideas for Avatar were originally intended for a future Terminator film. I know the 3D tech for Avatar started with the Terminator Experience, which consisted of sitting in a theater with 3D glasses and watching a mix of theater and digital film. First and only time 3D has ever worked for me.

Movieman: You know, if a movie this good doesn't get a wide theatrical release, this industry is in more freakin' trouble than we might suspect in our worst nightmares.

Martin, thanks for the info, I wasn't aware of that. But that's pretty interesting that he produced a theme park ride. But it proves that he had ideas for sequels and he wasn't able to tell the story he intended. Did you go on the ride? What did the ride entail?

It is 12:46 am AND I AM LISTENING TO HILARY DUFF "SO YESTERDAY" on my IPOD NANO. GOOD IDEA. THIS SONG FUCKING RULES.

Hey NOAH FORREST, what's with the title of your current column. SEQUELS NOBODY ASKED FOR? I thought that was gonna be some ARTHUR 2 ON THE ROCKS, FX 2, WHOLE TEN YARDS goodness, and instead I get you bitching about T4? Transformers?

For the record, since I probably can't submit any official response as a BELOVED MEMBER OF THE MOVIE CITY COMMUNITY, but I know a lot of motherfuckers who like Transformers 1. Starting with myself and extending to PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO BE ENTERTAINED, not be a snob.

You go against MEGAN FOX, you LOSE. YOU LOSE. MEGAN FOX COMMANDS YOU WITH EVERY FIBER OF HER BEING, SHE IS GOD COME TO EARTH, HEY POLAND do a LWD but instead have me SUB like GARRY SHANDLING used to sub for Carson and LET ME INTERVIEW THE FOXNESS.

QUESTION 1: "Hey, Megan, did you know you're giving me a boner?"

QUESTION 2: "Hey, Megan, can you get THE B.A.G. to sign my copy of ONE STOP CARNIVAL?"

FOR THE RECORD, THE LEXMASTER 2000 was an extra on 90210 toward the end of its run, and THE B.A.G. was AWESOME AS HELL and totally chill, and TIFFANI AMBER THIESSEN even SPOKE TO ME, it gave me a HUGE BONER. GOOD IDEA. Actually they were all COOL, I was there the day they filmed the immortal ep where STEVE SANDERS does his STANDUP COMEDY, so YEP YEP guess what L.A. COMEDY LEGEND was in the house. ME. GOOD EPISODE.

LEX FUCKING RULES. GIVE HIM A COLUMN.

Interestingly, I think I actually preferred FX 2 to the original - although I haven't seen either one since I was about twelve, so that might not still be true.

I too loved Transformers. And won an L.A. Press Club award for saying so in about 800 words.

http://www.ocweekly.com/2007-07-05/film/rock-em-sock-em

I HAVE A BONER and I AM BORED. I'm even mostly sober. What a bummer.

I want to GET LAID and bang a RUSSIAN STRIPPER or some hot firecrotch or some Eurasian squi. (new word.)

I wish I had stones like GANZ IN 48 HOURS where she SPECIAL ORDERS THE TANG at the beginning. Hey Larry Ferguson, we all know you're a Lex fan, hit me up and write some GOOD DIALOGUE for when I call THE SERVICE, ie the ONLY WAY I'M GOING TO TAX SOME ASS.

ANYONE ELSE HORNY? How do we let this slide? Every entitled prick on REAL WORLD ever acts like sex is some inaliable right that when you leave the house YOU ARE *GOING* to get some. I AM ON A COLD STREAK AND NEED SOME VAG.

I AM BORED AND LONELY. LIFE SUCKS.

Even STRIP CLUB doesn't sound THAT exciting because I NEVER KNOW THE ETIQUETTE. Are you SUPPOSED to get a BONER or are you SUPPOSED TO HOLD IT BACK? I second guess it all and usually sit there limp as 1978 WIDE EGG NOODLES. Are you supposed to be like firing off? Isn't that kind of gross and disrespectful?

I HATE THE WORLD. How come none of my supposed "FANS" of my TWO MCN COLUMNS EVER never email me to hook me up with some HOT CHICK?

RUSSIAN, FIRECROTCH, ASIAN: THAT is the order of the day. MAKE IT HAPPEN.

You will be repaid A MILLIONFOLD when THE LEXMAN is the biggest star in the world.

HOW CAN IT BE THIS FUCKING HARD to get laid? WHY do I not know AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANY awesome chicks?????? WHYYYYYYYYY do I work *14 HOURS A DAY*?

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY DOESN'T D-PO email me anymore?

ZING, whatever. I don't care. GOODIE I GET TO WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORK TOMORROW, watch all this genius get DELETED.

Maybe I don't promote the HORRIBLE LEX BLOG enough, but I need a venue where I don't get deleted as soon as I get awesome.

And Wells OWNS but his place has that problem where you can't see who POSTED LAST so my FANS kind find my awesome posts without some effort.

COUNTDOWN TO THE DELETE O FUN, KICK IT ONE TIME YEP YEP. I DON'T CARE.

So much for my PIPE DREAM of being "MOVIE CITY NEWS'" on G4. BUT HOORAY I get to do post-post for another THOUSAND FUCKING YEARS because I need to GROSS THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS A MONTH thanks to rent and billz billz billz.

I HAVE A GIANT BONER, FUCK THE WORLD.

LEX IS GOD. BOW TO ME.

I'M GONNA SLIT MY FUCKING WRISTS.

OH, WAIT, NEVER MIND, "OFF LIMITS" IS ON CINEMAX IN 21 MINUTES, I'll kill myself TOMORROW.

I. AM. FUCKING. LONELY.

Hey, what happened to that AWESOME COLUMN ARTICLE I sent in to Poland TWO WEEKZ ago?

OH NOES GUESS I'S BANNED.

ANY TAKERS OUT THERE for the HOTTEST TICKET IN TOWN?

ALL INQUIRIES, email me. My running rate is $20,000 for every 1,500 words.

MAKE ME THE HOTTEST TICKET IN TOWN. I'll even BANG AN OLD CHICK to have a career.

Where's that AWESOME "SULTRY" CHICK who liked my first column? Hit me up in email.

Guess it's back to GROUND ZERO, ie, another 15 years of DUBBING TAPES and logging roll.

SUCH IS LIFE. But at least I can SLIT MY WRISTS ANY FUCKING TIME I WANT.

TIRED OF ************EVERYONE********* HERE condescending and acting like I'm your dog and pony show.

OOOOOH, Sorry I can't BEHAVE, DID I DOOOO THAAAT?

I HAVE A GIANT BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONER AND NOWHERE TO PUT IT.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LEX IS GOD.

Ok, no doubt IRON FIST POLAND will delete all my gems without even readint them, but this one could MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN A MAN'S LIFE:

I would ask EVERYONE here to give me ten, no FIVE reasons to have ANY hope that anything will EVER get better in my life.

Five reasons to cheer up. Five things to have hope for. Or even to be happy about. And you can skip the "You have a roof over your head" BULLSHIT. I don't compare myself to HOMELESS GUYS, I compare myself to BRAD PITT.

I have NOTHING to be happy about.

NOTHING.

Give me FIVE THINGS that might cheer me up. If you don't wanna do it here, hit up my email.

GIVE LEX FIVE REASONS TO GO ON.

Also? FUCK YOU.

I was at the Arclight the other day to see a movie, and even though the crowd there is like 88% supergay, it owns when you see some hot MODELY CHICK with the SKINNY LEGS and wearing a LITTLE OUTFIT with flip flops or something, SO HOT MAJOR BONER.

But they're ALWAYS with some scrappy Aaron Paul from Breaking Bad looking David Arqutte type with CHIPS SUNGLASSES, preferrably in an ARMY SURPLUS JACKET, and for extra douche points the dude has like TWO of these HOT MODEL CHICKS with them.

HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN EVER ON THIS PLANET?

I WANT A SKINNY MODEL CHICK IN THE FLIP FLOPS.

MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Yeah, YOU. DICK.

Actually, the Terminator theme park thing was quite impressive.

http://www.variety.com/review/VE1117905232.html?categoryid=31&cs=1

Noah - T:Experience which I hit...a decade ago, wow...is what makes me believe in Avatar.

Thanks for the link Joe, that saves my brain. The Cyberdyne walk-through was very cool because it shows Terminatorish parts involved with everyday life. The standout was a pair of T arms coming out of a wall and tucking a kid into bed. You could see the idea was that Skynet and Cyberdyne were separate entites and when Skynet achieves consciousness, Cyberdyne tech was so immersive that you couldn't escape it.

The T-100K was an amazing effect. Its blade-tendrils shot into the audience and the farther back you were, the farther the extension looked...Fidel's music and some variants...T-800's on stage during the future...No H-K's, but they tried to simulate the flyover's with the spotlights that were prevalent in the first film's future sequences.

IMO, everything comes back to Reese's line about "one possible future". Since the future wasn't set, you couldn't "go there", ala Salvation, because if you did, Skynet has won. By throwing John into the future, as a youngster, I always wondered if that's why he was the savior. Reese, man of the future with knowledge of the past, stops a time-altering event by putting his future in course. John, man of the past with knowledge of the future, creates a time-altering event to "save" the future from Skynet, but in return erases his own existence.

Noah, in no parallel universe is FX 2 better than the first. There is no reason for a sequel to that nifty clever little thriller. None at all.

Noah, in no parallel universe is FX 2 better than the first. There is no reason for a sequel to that nifty clever little thriller. None at all.

I agree, the Terminator ride was great. It was a brilliant idea to have the Arnold stand in live on stage fighting the 3-D robot from the screen. Loved the T-800s on the stage. It was just an all around great idea.

Hey, when you order AN ESCORT from the back of LA WEEKLY, is it proper etiquette to clean your bathroom and scour the sink and put on fresh sheets and stuff?

And how embarrassing is it when they show up? Like I assume she's gonna show up wearing clunky heels and making a huge fucking racket stomping up to the my pad at 1:47am, don't all the neighbors get annoyed?

I've always said I don't understand why dudes go to like THE BUNNY RANCH or some hooker's provided room because the place has to be a germ fest, but now having them in MY dwelling seems kinda weird too.

I am nervous about this and probably won't do it because it's TOO NERVE RACKING.

Guess it's another night of watching one of the LAME EDITED PORNOS I VHS'd off Spice Channel in 1999.

It'll be a lot like RISKY BUSINESS.

DP, I think you need to post Lex's column. You made him cranky!

YEAH R.I.P. LEXG VOICES.

It's okay printed words don't get your dick into chicks from THE HILLS any faster than dubbing tapes and fetching coffee for some beardo from Knitting Factory.

Life sucks. Also, Big Perm, get your own routine and stop juggling my Bozack, with that faux-snide terse shit. Work a new angle, bro. Or don't. I don't care.

Good.

I HAVE A BONER!

Like fucking clockwork. What a tool.

You hop to faster than McDouche these days. I'd think a busy, name-dropping would-be player like yourself would have better things to do. Christ, at least go make some waffles for one of your fifteen backwater roommates.

"You won't believe what just happened here one of my fifteen roommates has a sword." DER HERRRRRRRR. HICK.

Lex, you really have no leg to stand on when you call Perm a 'tool' or make fun of him in any way. Plus, your would-be insult is a lot of gibberish. Waffles?

Go blow him if you like him so much, McDouche.

You can fuck right on off too.

The Therapy Blog, lady and gentlemen.

Seriously, McTool, what has the unknown quantity known as "Big Perm" done for you lately that you suck this guy off so hardcore every time he posts? He bagged on your little Sam Raimi movie, he has one note (the snide/terse poor man's Jeff Boam's Doctor knockoff), he's never given one iota of an inkling as to who he is, what his story is, what he's about. He just blows in like a joyless prick and drops some weak, unfunny boring insult in the morning before work and at night when he's playing D&D with his Renfaire roommates.

Is he like an ex-roommate of yours who left L.A. but you guys were pals when he was out here failing? Because otherwise there's literally nothing we've seen on the blog that accounts for this spirit of bonhommie between you two, beyond your shared like of humor and obtuse toolishness.

Meanwhile, who DELIGHTS you with videos honoring your inscrutable personalities, engages your needs for semantic bullshit, and sends you great emails about Kristen Stewart at 2am?

Because that second guy sounds a lot like a FRIEND.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

O Lex, your words cut me to the bone...r.

Bitch Perm, Jeffrey Boam's Doctor wants his act back. Bitch.

Post something interesting about yourself or SHUT THE FUCK UP, you add-nothing boring motherfucker.

Hey, I thought I had the full rights to the Renfair insult here on The Hot Blog. DISAPPOINTED.

Well Lex, friends can disagree on things like movies.

I'll post somthing interesting about my life after Lex does. Of course, the problem is Lex thinks he DOES post interesting info about himself.

Okay, you got me...seriously...Jeff used to be my boyfriend. He's the best pole smoker in LA. Huzzah!!

And "Bitch Perm?" Seriously, you're still on that? And you say you're a failed comedian, huh? I have no idea how that happened.

By all means, DELETE *****MY****** POSTS but NOT ANYONE ELSE'S. Not the posts of people WHO STRAIGHT UP TELL ME TO COMMIT SUICIDE.

Because I'M the bad guy.

Whatever.

NOT FAIR.

Demanding everyone's attention because you are feeling like crap is not fair, Lex.

You are perfectly capable of commanding attention with your ideas. But you'd rather act like everyone owes you their support. As someone who has been very supportive, because I think you have some real talent, understand that the more you piss the soup, the less you are worth supporting.

It's boring, Lex.

It's as boring as people who tell you to commit suicide... boring as people who want to wag their finger and say "I told you so" about you to me... and as boring as some of the most uninteresting amongst us.

Some people get in their own way by being unable to act. Some people, by not being able to keep themselves from going too far. Both are the cause of failure, not the result of failure.

Put up or shut up.

And putting up means keeping your mania out of this space so you can build some credibility with the work that will actually get you positive attention. Because it will. If you let it. But instead, you seem intent on making it possible for me or anyone else to publish your smart work... because of these late night binges into stupidity.

not cool. not fair.

Does mid afternoon count as a late night binge? I think Lex is just stupid all the time.

Now, let me take my sweet Jeffmcm, and I will cuddle him, ever so gently. Don't worry Jeff, the pain that you feel is natural...but soon you will jizz like no boner has ever jizzed before.

I hope Roger Ebert isn't reading THIS thread!

If so, Mr. Ebert you are the Man.

four-walling.

I think that's how my parents (and millions of others) saw Billy Jack.

Someone should remake it with a modern theme and I don;t mean with the Rock a la 'Walking Tall' but an authentic person who fits the bill i.e. non-ex model or ex-athlete.

I have to get on a plane again : (

I hope the pitot tubes are working on my fckng transatlantic flight to Blighty.

For Lex who needs help with his suicide wishes. (Most of that is not proper GoGo dancing by the way):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAKRFZQIkeA

For this song Lex, listen at it and Substitute the word "Boners" for "Kicks"

These are authentic GoGo dancers by the way. The two in front are Pros. Damn I wish I was 20 yrs older. I missed the best music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IP8G4clUJBY

The only thing that will cheer you up is if you start getting realistic Lex like Paul Revere(Mark Lindsay) says "You'll never run away from you". Do something with yourself as Dave has given you a rare chance.

third thing to cheer you up Lex from the 80s. You don;t have to get on a plane with pitot tubes that might freeze with our bitchin weather lately, stop complaining.

4...3...2...1....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NiOZMlD9TA

If De La Soul can't cheer you up, then you are a lost cause Lex:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUIgLZ0d5-U

Monie Love featured not Queen latifah

Appreciate the links Lota, but unfortunately the song stuck in my head right now is that annoying LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL song from the MY SISTER'S KEEPER trailer I have to endure twice a week in theaters and every 11 minutes on television...

I also have that MICHELLE BRANCH "CUZ YOU'RE EEEEEVERY-THING TO MEEEEEEE!" join in my head thanks to the ubiquitious Chase commercials but at least THAT SONG RULES and MICHELLE BRANCH is HOT AS HELL.

Lex, I don't know if this will cheer you up or just make things worse, but it's sheer, bonerific awesomeness:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkVzQ1dJ7I8

The really good stuff doesn't start until about 3 minutes in, but I say don't skip ahead. Savor the buildup, and enjoy the phony cobra while you can -- cuz once Debra Paget starts dancing, you won't notice anything else.

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