The Hot Blog

I have a 7-11 PHONE for my MOBILE and a ROTARY for my home line. I RULE.

PAY AS YOU GO, POLAND. TOP-UP CARD 4 EVA. NO COMMITMENTS. TAKES YOU 47 MINUTES TO TYPE OUT A THREE-WORD TEXT.

Related subject, how come CATHERINE ZETA JONES suddenly looks 23 years old on the new T-BONER commercials? YEP YEP VANILLA KICK IT ONE TIME.

Rotary? Geez, dude, spare your fingers. Need 'em for jerkin' it.

Maybe I'm not thinking straight, but I don't understand what you're upset about, DP. It's too expensive? It doesn't have enough new features?

Electronics and computers get outdated quickly. It's been like that for a while. I have one of the original iPhones, and when the 3G model came out, I just said "oh well, I'll get the model after that next year". What's the big deal? I paid a good chuck of change for this phone but it was well worth it, and $200 for a new one doesn't bug me either.

lazarus, they're throwing new phones at new AT&T customers for 99 bucks.

TOP UP CARD FUCKING RULES.

CHARGE THAT SHIT ON A CREDIT CARD YOU'RE *NEEEEEEEEEEEEVER* GOING TO PAY OFF, and it's like HAVING A FREE PHONE.

Also, hey Faraci, you seem cool but Jamie Kennedy fucking owned you, especially if he's really BANGING JEN-LOVE, you Tony Esposito-looking beardo.

YEP YEP, LEX TAKIN EM ALL DOWN TONIGHT LIKE CAAN AT THE END OF "THIEF."

LYT, I can't be in your zombie movies because I'm agoraphobic as FUCKING FINKE, I can barely leave the house anymore and when I do I get into some low-rent Wells-esque confrontation or end up being a DOUCHE.

I'd show up at your zombie flick and stand around with a thumb up my ass like a total fucking Asperger retard and embarrass the fuck out of everyone.

MY WHOLE WORLD IS BULLSHIT.

I HATE EVERYONE EQUALLY.

I don't give a FUCK what this thread is about, I'm going to bitch about MY SHIT and before D-PIZZLE BANS MY SHIT, all my FANS need to START THE HYPE and email me at lex_mch@yahoo.com, AND SING MY FUCKING PRAISES, I'm the KING of this place, because I TELL IT LIKE IT IS for those who want to LISTEN.

FAMOUS PEOPLE ARE INHERENTLY SUPERIOR TO ME, AND TO YOU. YOU ARE NOT FAMOUS. YOU ARE A DOUCHE. I want to be FAMOUS with EVERY FUCKING FIBER OF MY BEING but my YouTube stupid videos are TANKING like JAMES GARNER AND C THOMAS HOWELL, Poland's been sitting on my column for TWO WEEKS, and the only way I can get heard is to not "act up."

Well like MY MAN FRED DURST I'MA ACT UP ALL I FUCKING WANT, because POLAND OWNS and been cordial and polite but I definitely sense it's like a TRAINED PARROT THING where if I don't act up, I'll get recognized, and if not, I'll just get DELETED. That's fine, it's his rig here, the guy's great, but THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN and yet I'm TOILING in some posthouse while all you giddy glad-handers chill out with your 23 roommates interviewing porn stars and making zombie movies. WHY do YOU not have to work 85 hours a week staring at a color-correction monitor tweaking shit?

Whatever my FUCKED UP CIRCUMSTANCES in life, I have the day to day existence of AL FUCKING BUNDY, hating every second of bullshit, so EXCUUUUUUUUSE ME for not ceding to OTHERS' timetable.

If I post, it's going to be BIG. If I do some shit, IT'S TO GET NOTICED. Because I am on a fucking DENNIS QUAID DOA CLOCK WITH THE BEIJING COCKTAIL IN MY SYSTEM any SECOND I'm not fucking a chick or getting FAMOUS.

I have NO TIME for waiting on standby (even though I've done it for 15 years of PURE FUCKING MISERY). I'm only hated here BECAUSE I AM THE VOICE YOU FEAR IN THE NIGHT, the voice that tells you YOU AREN'T SHIT and NEVER WILL BE.

I have TWO FUCKING OPTIONS FOR 2009:

FAME OR SUICIDE.

Shit, if I can amend my above Millerian reference with a better one:

Devin Faraci is CLEARLY a DON CALFA IN STAR CHAMBER LOOKING BEARDO, not Tony Esposito.

Seriously, cue up STAR CHAMBER, Faraci IS A FUCKING RINGER. Nothing against DF, but you're a young guy IN THE PRIME OF YOUR LIFE WITH A GOOD HEAD OF HAIR... WHY would you choose to style yourself like that?

Fuck, I'd do anything to have a workable head of hair... I certainly wouldn't be styling it like Peter Jackson's grubbier doppelganger.

This got out of hand in a early. Lex, really, most celebs exist on the corner of ASSHOLE, in the town of DOUCHE, and the county of VAPIDNESS! Get over your crazy fame vortex of suckage, and continue to crank out those stellar columns.

Heat Rash: this is what you get for buying an old phone. It's not anti-progress. It just teaches you to wait, or to keep the phone you already had.

The 3G phone had a lot of missing features that close to everyone knew would be fixed a year later. You needed to be patient, but you could not wait. Sorry fella, those are the breaks, and now you have to pay.

Always wait with Apple. Always. This is why we should all wait for the 4G or whatever is coming out in a year because that has to be a much better phone than this one, and it will have much more memory! WOO!!!

I too am disappointed that Apple could not twist AT&T's arm on this, but the problem is really with AT&T and the way the cell phone business is run, not Apple.

Disregard for a second that AT&T's network is struggling to keep up with iPhone owners data usage. AT&T still has this eligibility upgrade check for getting a new subsidized phone when under contract, regardless of iPhone or not.

This is standard operating procedure for the entire cellular industry in the US. It has nothing whatsoever to do with Apple. If you buy a subsidized phone (essentially any of the "premium" phones) you aren't eligible to buy another until your current contract expires -- because the carrier amortizes the cost of the subsidy over the lifetime of your contract. It wasn't a factor with upgrading from the original iPhone to the iPhone 3G because the original iPhone wasn't subsidized (remember everyone screaming about how expensive it was?)

Supposedly if you've been a longtime AT&T customer you might be able to get their customer service to waive the upgrade cost if you're already one year into your existing contract.

I wish the cell industry would adopt a strategy more similar to the computing industry, but the flipside of that would also probably be more expensive phones and less subsidies. Still, it'd be worth it not to deal with the bizarre and hidden methods used to get additional money from consumers -- buying a cellphone shouldn't be like buying a car.

DP, I understand your frustration, but it has nothing to do with Apple and everything to do with AT&T. It's unfortunate that Apple hasn't been able to wrestle with the cell phone carriers the way they have with the music/movie studios.

Although, Apple did call out AT&T during the WWDC presentation for not supporting tethering.

So wait, if I have the option of getting money off for renewing my AT&T contract, that money off cannot be used towards getting the new, $199 iPhone for less?? If so....that does blow. Otherwise, $200 for a brand new kickass iPhone with video and pictures in IMs. a compass, voice rec....doesn't seem like too bad a deal to me.

For once Lex is right. TOP UP 4 EVA. Any fool who drops all that cash for one of Apple's planned obsolesent phones deserve their fate. And people who sign long term contracts to phone companies are suckers.

The same people who BOW to this scam servitude technology are the first to fall apart like children when they finally figure out Apple and AT&T don't give a rat's ass about you.

People actually think businesses care about them?

Only in New Media Land.

Agreed 100%. Upgraded anyway, but it pissed me off.

Who has a bigger sense of iPhone entitlement?

A. AT&T Users
B. David Poland
C. Apple Users
D. Apple Eaters

AT&T spied on American citizens for the government.

NOW you're pissed.

http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2008/06/att-whistleblow/

It's the $200 "Asshole Fee."

It's for people with a perfectly good 1 year old phone who need to be able to show others that of course they have the newest model with the video camera.

mutinyco FTW.

I've waited patiently for the new iPhone as I still have the very first model, back when I needed to be able to show others that of course I had the newest phone on the market. It's held up well but about 8 months ago developed a weird Matrix looking thing on the screen. Annoying.

Who Has A Bigger Sense of Hot Blog Entitlement?
A) Dave Poland
b) LexG
c) LexG
d) LexG

Lex if things are that bad and you want to be in show biz call Pacino and offer to assist him in researching his new role.

Yeah, I'll get right on that, douchebag.

You're right, Lex. Fame rocks.

I imagine.

I'm not famous and I'm never gonna be, but it must be amazing. The attention, the adoration, the perks, the stuff I haven't thought of yet because I'm NOT famous.

It might get old, but what must it be like to have strangers come up to you and say, "Sorry to bother you, but I'm your biggest fan, yadda, yadda, yadda?" Screw those celebabies who say they wanna be "normal people" again. Not only wouldn't they trade it for the world, they fight giving it up like it's 1995 and they're my ex-wife.

But fame or suicide?

Really?

I lost my job 45 days ago. It sucks and I feel lousy and I don't know what I'm gonna do next. But my wife will come home soon and my kids are home from school and we'll all have dinner together and it will be a fine night.

I don't know what color correction really is, but if you don't like it, move on (I hope the 85 hours is an exaggeration).

If you can't make enough money to live in LA, move away. Other parts of the world aren't nearly as expensive in which to live. My first house after my divorce was an 1860s-era, two-story, colonial for $20k -- I was earning $17,000 at the time. My second wife and I now live in an 1850 Greek revival on an acre of land in the heart of upstate NY's Finger Lakes wine country. It's beautiful and life is OK.

If you want it to be.

If you're there because that's where you must be to be famous, then the logic seems flawed. It's not working or not meeting your expectations AND you're miserable.

I love your columns and your rants. I have little use to employ the word, but if I did, "squack" would be a permanent resident in my lexicon.

Write more.

Get outside.

Watch a cartoon. I know you dislike them, that's why you should see one. Try UP.

Is there community theatre where you are? Get involved. It's fun.

Call or visit your mother.

Make more videos. Your last one was amusing.

Eat more vegetables -- you'll feel better, I promise.

Get a cat.

Or a fish.

Or a fern.

And write more.

I know you hate everyone equally which is right democratic of you, but there are people rooting for you.

They're even a little envious of the modicum of fame you've got going here on The Hot Blog.

^^ FINALLY, someone with something valuable to say. GOOD POST.

Too bad none of it can really apply to my broke, Taurus-driving, sausage factory-working, 85 hours a week just to stay afloat situation.

I even took a few serious theater classes last winter for a few weeks, but it was all bullshit and I couldn't keep up with those showboating hams, plus I had to quit anyway because I have to work noon to midnight seven days a week. There is literally NO CLASS I can take because I work ALL the fucking time and don't have the money to pay for it.

Also, FUCK CLASSES. If RAY J has a SAG CARD, if KIM KARDASHIAN HAS A SAG CARD, if every rapper and hack comic has a SAG CARD, there IS no craft.

My videos suck and I'm pretty sure "my column," as DP explained, was more of "an experiment." Probably one that's gone the way of the PHILADELPHIA EXPERIMENT, for all you Mike Pare fans.

I'm 36 years old, work in Burbank, live in the Valley, I'm white, I'm out of shape, I drive an American car and I work in postproduction.

In other words, where's my Asian girlfriend?

WTF? Lex, are you forgetting the dozens of posts multiple other people have sent you along the lines of 'take acting classes/watch less TV/get a cheaper apartment/etc'? You've been hearing this same advice for MONTHS and you always, always refuse to take it.

Nobody _has_ to work 85 hours a week if they have 3 DEGREES! and aren't tied to a sweatshop. I guarantee that I have more debt than you do and I work a normal 50-hour workweek.

Excuses, always more goddamn excuses.

MOVING IS A PAIN IN THE ASS and besides my wife likes my current place.

Telemachos and MontrealKid got it right. This is an AT&T deal driven by how the industry subsidizes phones. AT&T pays Apple full price for the phone. Say $599 and then sells it to me for $199 with a two year contract. The $400 loss is a markeitng expenditure paid to lck me in for 24 months at $80 plus a month. If AT&T allowed me to upgrade at $199 then the subsidy goes to $800 messing up the margin on the original contract.

So AT&T should allow me to upgrade at $199 if I extend my contract. Alternatively, I believe they will let you upgrade on your one year anniversary (December for me).

That's the biz model and as far as I know same goes for new intros of heavily subsidized smartphones at other carriers.

The issue of course is that when Apple provides an upgrade it has a lot of value and whiz bang while the next gen standard smartphone historically ahs not been as big an upgrade.

Apple dinged AT&T on tethering and MMS at WWDC. The exclusive deal for the iPhone expires at the end of this year. Apple has AT&T in a very tough bargaining position.

Lex is MARRIED???

Jeez dude, you know that boner problem? I think I thought of a solution for that. The job of a wife is to be a passive receptacle for boners.

He's _not_ married. He's saying that because he realizes how much embarrassing personal information he's put out and wants to put up some kind of smokescreen to trick people into thinking, 'Wow, maybe Lex is more complicated and interesting than I thought, maybe I _should_ give him that G4 co-host gig with Olivia Munn that I've been keeping quiet about."

But if Lex were married, wouldn't it all make sense?

Just to be clear... it's a $200 charge - or an additional 2 year commitment ON TOP OF the list price for the phone at the Apple store or $200 or $300... a fee for upgrading your phone.

I know this is not the first time this stupid principle has been invoked. But in this case, I would say that it is a clear bit of advantage-taking in a non-competitive situation.

And Mutiny... funny... but not reasonable. I have zero in interest in a 3 megapixel video camera and have never used the one in my blackberry. And in my case, I don't even use the phone. I still carry a Blackberry for e-mail and for the phone because iPhone has sucked so bad, but the internet and apps are 3 million times superior. And this new phone claims much increased speed and the search function, which apparently will not be included in the new software upgrade.

If I can leap the gorge with the new phone and dump the blackberry, I can save $40 a month in data service, as well as have a phone that makes a big leap towards being a mini-laptop for my purposes.

If I am convinced that this new iPhone makes that leap, I will pay the surcharge anyway, because over time, it will save me money.

So, yes Don, I do feel entitled to pay the same price as someone buying their first iPhone, given that I spend thousands of dollars a year with ATT and more with Apple and would be willing to extend my current agreement out, again, to a full two years. but find it offensive to demand that I take it out to 3 or more... even if the odds are that I won't much want make a change before those years are done.

I am pretty much a laydown buyer, not a big complainer about details when I want something. But to me, this is like not being willing to give or sell me a large cup for ice after I have already bought the $4.50 large bottom of Desani at the movies... fuck you, exhibitor... I know you don't want me to have a Coke for free while I drink my Desani... so charge me 50 cents so you have more than covered your cost if I am a scumbag liar. And if I am not, I, who have overpaid for water, paid $12 or more for a matinee ticket, and will be subjected to commercials from the second I walk into the theater, will be a more satisfied customer who doesn't feel like an idiot drinking a giant bottle of water from a 6 oz cup.

That's all I am saying.

I can't hold Apple blameless as some have done. They entered into the exclusive agreement with AT&T. If the above post is correct on the agreement ending, maybe it's time for Apple to broaden its base.

BTW, I have the free time to make zombie movies because I can't find a full-time job.

Mixed blessing. Especially when the unemployment runs out.

DP, you're simply wrong. Sorry. Here is the situation (and it is the situation, more or less, with every carrier in the US and every subsidized phone, so no, this is not a question of a one company abusing its monopoly. If anything, it's about a whole industry abusing their position and consumers allowing it to happen because they like cool, cheap phones.

Here is the situation: the true, un-subsidized price for the iPhone 3G, released last year, was $600. AT&T's contract with every user was, we'll cover $400 of that cost for you, and in return you enter into a 2-year agreement with us.... and we'll only subsidize one phone during this period. Now you're saying they should cover another $400 for the phone (and presumably, if you felt like upgrading to the next version next year, ANOTHER $400).

Of course, if you feel like paying the full cost of the phone yourself, AT&T is happy to sell it to you.

This has been S.O.P. in the US cellular industry for years and years, with every new cool cellphone: the RAZR, the Blackberries, etc.

I don't disagree with you that it'd be better to have the option to freely switch carriers and phones whenever you choose.... but the cost of that will end up being un-subsidized phones. The $200 price point for the iPhone is artificially low. Look at the Nokia N97 that's coming out now: it costs $700. That's the price range the iPhone (and the Pre and the Touch Pro and the Storm, etc) would be in if the carriers didn't artificially cover up by getting you to buy a cheap phone and then cover the cost over the life of the contract).

I'm an iPhone 3G owner myself, so I understand the lure of upgrading as you would a computer. But that's not the way the cell industry works here, and it's specious to aim your anger at Apple or AT&T alone.

BTW, if you really can't resist the Shiny New Thing, wait until you've covered a year of your old contract (earliest would be mid-July, since that's when the iPhone 3G came out) and then call AT&T.... the cost should be somewhat lower and by talking to various managers, you might be able to get them to waive or further reduce the cost.

But c'mon, suck it up like every single other consumer does, wait until December, and then realize that by then you're already halfway to getting an even cooler iPhone next summer (when the whole cycle starts over again).

Just because it's the standard, doesn't mean that it's right, that truly evolving equipment is the same old/same old, or that I don't have a right to be offended.

"Shiny new thing" suggests that this thing is a toy to everyone who owns it. Not me.

New Media hurts.

Video, voice commands and a compass?

I'm psyched about some of the software upgrades (especially cut & paste and MMS, which should have been standard features from the beginning, as they are on every other smartphone). The dumbest decisions on AT&T's part are delaying the implementation of MMS and tethering.

As for the 3GS -- I'm not really interested. Sure, more memory and faster apps would be nice, but it's kind of sad that the big new "features" are a fancier (video) camera, voice commands and... a compass? Doesn't somebody already make small, lightweight compasses that don't require battery power?

Jim - What my iPhone experience has been is that it is not the stuff Apple sells that makes the leap, it's the way all the opportunities interact.

For instance, as far as I can tell, even with new software, I will not be able to post images to the blog on the 3G I have. That makes a difference.

The whole compass thing is silly, but improving further the extraordinary tool of a phone GPS that really works in an interactive way with Google and Google maps, is big.

I don't know... we'll see.

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