The Hot Blog

Welcome to October. Hmmph. Don't like the weather. Go Phillies!

Quick, someone alert Jeff Wells!! Joe Swanberg made a "Funny or Die" short and it features Vinessa Shaw nude but covered!! I have Swanbergs email address if Jeff wants some outtakes...

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/7e2d4a6e10/birthday-suit

Aww man, just made a hi-larious post with a link and it got flagged for approval. Approve me David!! Appppppprooooove meeeeee!!!

I saw A Serious Man last night.

I'm still scratching my head. Don't get me wrong, I found it riveting from start to finish. But... I can't make heads or tails of this one. Hard to discuss because I find it imperative not to spoil the film's surprises.

I haven't yet seen "A Serious Man," "The Invention of Lying," "Capitalism: A Love Story" or the "Toy Story / Toy Story 2" 3-D double feature.

But I can say that two of my favorite movies so far this year are opening this weekend, and the rest all look good to great. Could some of it really not have been spread around to next weekend?

I don't hold any comments for approval, Don... but the system doesn't like multiple links sometimes... I will look now...

Best month of the year! All major sports active. I'm not event gonna gripe about someone making YouTube yank down yet another video for an 80's song that isn't even available for purchase.

Thinking of finally biting the bullet and signing up for NetFlix or Blockbuster. At one time it seemed like Blockbuster had a good amount of freebies but NetFlix I was told had the more extensive indie and foreign library. Is this true? Any recommendations or hidden snares I should be aware of? Thanks.

Saw some of Michael Moore on Tavis Smiley the other night. It wasn’t like Moore did a bad job, but he didn’t really sell me on his latest. I never saw Sicko either. It doesn’t take much imagination to surmise how many ways people can get screwed in the area of healthcare. Likewise, not much motivation to see some guy’s rant against the machine. I’d imagine there’s more to it than that, and even w/the poss of agreeing w/a ton of he says, the thought of the film just registers a big “meh” for me.

I'm depressed that I'm part of the same species that made Alvin and the Chipmunks 2.

Since I feel like depressing everyone else:

http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=59659

HA! I don't know, I actually laughed at Lee's INCREDIBLY LAME skateboard pratfall. Plus they use an AWESOME Blink-182 song (GOOD BAND), so I don't think it looks bad. FUNNY STUFF.

Is everyone psyched for tomorrow? PAGE POWER. WEEZER POWER. ANDREW WILSON POWER. THE COLOR GREEN.

But then again Zombieland = AMBER HEARD. I HEARD she gives me a BONER, if you know what I mean.

zing.

Hey Martin: I rent with an option to buy.

What kind of a MAN would go to see TOY STORY REDUX over WHIP IT! tomorrow?

Christ.

The Put a Ring On It bit involuntarily made me upchuck part of my dinner. If I saw that shit in the movie theater, I'd be throwing stuff at the screen. The sheer laziness that goes into movies nowadays is stunning to me. I know, I'm not the audience for this nonsense, but there's a reasonably WATCHABLE way to do it, see G-Force. This is bottom of the barrel writing, directing, animating, and acting.

Lex, why so obsessed with manhood?

I set the peanut gallery up with a long, slow, easy slider right over home, and McDouche goes down looking. The joke couldn't have been any more leaden and obvious.

I'm not interested in playing along with your lame schtick.

See, this also looks horrible, but in a watchable trainwreck kind of way. Entertainment value by way of absurdity, something that Alvin and the gang are sorely lacking:

http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=59690

Nuh-uh, Lex...PARANORMAL POWER.

Bad move by Paramount deciding where to book it so quickly that reviews couldn't get into papers in some cases, but good move opening it at all. Go see it.

Oh hell yeah - if I wasn't in an office tomorrow it would be a Zombieland/Paranormal Activity double feature.

Martin: HAHAHAHA! AWESOME.

LYT: I don't doubt it, I want to see it, but MIDNIGHT-ONLY SHOWS at ONE theater = crowds = sellouts = I have to sit elbow to elbow next to some tittering chump for 90 minutes. Basically imagine Jeff Wells in any crowded situation surrounded by the hoi polloi, multiply the rage, misanthropy, and annoyance at every form of human behavior times... well, times one, actually. People can talk up CROWD REACTIONS all they want, but as with ALL movies, I'll be happier seeing Paranormal Activity at some 11am matinee with two old guys on opposite sides of the theater. FUCK sitting next to people.

McDouche: Says the dumb-ass who responds to my EVERY POST, hook, line, and sinker.

PAGE POWER. I am going to sit there and for that TWO HOURS, I will not be watching a movie about an alternagirl rollerskating; I will be watching a movie about a misunderstood GENIUS COMEDIAN who gets his SAG CARD and finally impresses everyone and finds a cool new girlfriend who looks like Megan Fox then makes a million dollars.

Lex: "Whip It" is all about inspiring you to seize the now, whatever the "now" is for you ("squack," an acting gig). Just be sure not to seize something else in the theater should you get too excited.

I will be appearing at every single screening of WHIP IT! tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday in Hollywood.

In case any of the fans want an autograph.

You know who seems pretty awesome is Kristen Wiig. I usually don't like funny chicks AT ALL and she's like 34 or something so I shouldn't admit this, but she seems pretty cool.

Plus in EXTRACT I was pleasantly surprised that she has a SMOKING-hot body. Who knew.

I need to hurry up and become the New Danny McBride/Jack Black/Jonah Hill so I can meet all these people and be in their movies.

Another reason to see WHIP IT: FALLON POWER.

What IS the deal with "Single Ladies?" Seems like I turn on the TV and within 15 minutes someone's playing that damn song. And isn't it a year old already?

"Halo" OWNS THE FUCK out of "Single Ladies."

HALO POWER. BEST POP SONG SINCE UNWRITTEN BY NATASHA BEDINGFIELD or maybe even ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID by TATU.

Later tonight I will be drinking heavily and singing along to HALO on YT seventeen times in a row.

BEYONCE POWER. BOW.

oh wait i forgot SNEAKERNIGHT is better than all that shit.

BASICALLY WHAT I'M GOING TO DO IS GET A BONER.

She looks all of about 12 in that video you sick puppy. As far Beyonce, I hear her stuff and sort of get into it, and then it starts to suck. The decent hook is repeated ad nauseum, and surrounded by a lot of really crappy filler. Destiny's Child, which I was also not a big fan of, had better songs.

Lex: Fallon is the only thing that sucks about "Whip It."

I didn't think you were holding it, David....links just get gummed up sometimes.

And I cannot BELIEVE no one thought that was funny. Not the "Funny or Die" thing, that was so-so. But Vinessa Shaw is in it....nude but blurred out...Jeff Wells asked James Mangold for nude outtakes of Shaw in "3:10 to Yuma??!!" Dammit you people! That. Is. Funny. Lex has ruined funny forever.

Nick:

No way. Fallon is one of my idols. Also: DANIEL STERN is GUARANTEED to make me cry in this doing the understanding-dad shit. I can already tell from the trailer I've watched 400 times.

Lewis, did you ever read the actual JW email request? HOLY SHIT, it's a whole other realm of hilarity. I believe he breaks out "hombre" at one point to grease the wheels.

Lex: I want to like Fallon more than I ever do, although his performance in "Fever Pitch" is great. And it's pretty amazing to think that Daniel Stern hasn't been in a major, theatrically released film since "Very Bad Things" - 11 damn years ago.

re: that vinessa shaw clip, i guess they really don't know their 'workshop' from their 'digital' over there at 'funny or die' -- nor the accent of the weta worker, apparently (i would've loved to see the 'mark ribek' or whateverhisnamewas guy at least attempt a kiwi brogue; anthony hopkins couldn't do it to save his life, it would have been comedy to see that dude try)

So James Franco is going to do a two-month arc on General Hospital? WTF?

That's too awesome.

Poland usually has an SNL-related post up the next day, but he should really think about a weekly SNL thread.

25 minutes in and this episode is WORLD-CLASS. Sudekis as Richard Dawson and Hader as John Phillips = OWNAGE.

Then they brought back THE GREATEST SKIT EVER, "PORCELAIN FOUNTAINS." WITH ScarJo CAMEO, YES, YES, YESSSSSSS.

RYAN REYNOLDS = LUCKIEST MAN ON PLANET EARTH after Brian Austin Green. Maybe even ahead of THE B.A.G.

You gotta get yourself... PORCELAIN FOUNTAINS.

Samberg's video was funny, too.

GOOD EPISODE. JOHANSSON POWER!

I don't know if IO will clock in on this thread, but he's the only one hip enough and who watches enough TV to know what I'm talking about:

What is WITH the groupthink feminazis at TWOP? I was reading the SNL forum and multiple fat cat ladies clocked in to say they'd NEVER HEARD OF Lady Gaga, or that they'd never heard her before.

Several did not recognize Elijah Wood. As per usual, many of them need to have many topical and pop-cultural references explained.

These are a special brand of agoraphobic TV-obsessed man-hating shut-in; GUARANTEED every single one of those thousand-some posters knows the name of every EXTRA and under-five that ever sauntered through a Gilmore Girls or Alias episode, BWAH HA SQUEEing all the way.

But to not recognize or understand things that anyone who's read a newspaper, like, ever, should be able to get, if even by cultural osmosis?

BWAH HA SQUEE, HOYAY! TWOP is the scourge of humanity.

1) I know who Rose Abadoo is. Why? I remember damn near everyone's name who had a speaking role on Gilmore Girls and possibly Alias.

2) TWOP does suck ass. It really is one of the worst place to read anything about TV. The FORUMS ARE HEINOUS! It's in caps. So you know it's true!

3) This where your whole thing about TASTE in another thread is some what true Lex. These ladies are pretty much out of the loop with pop music, but probably could spot Miley or Taylor from a mile away. They are just not current. This is where making more references than a Family Guy episode in a post, is a great way to fuck with them. They are simply out of the loop.

4) Seriously though, fuck TWOP in it's face.

IO: What about that "boards on boards" rule where you are insta-banned for challenging anyone's opinion or acknowleding other posters or their opinions unless it's to merely quote it and say WORD?

The only way to survive on that site is to a) hate men; b) hate any attractive woman under 45; c) agree with every single thing the show's power-tripping recapper thinks; and d) code all your moronic posts in some insular slang so incomprehensible and so riddled with Unfunny Character Nicknames, even Chris Fucking Berman would throw his hands up in confusion. Example: "Spawn was all HOYAY with SQUEE, BWAH HA HA when Peachy YMMV'd his BWAH and Skeletor came over. YOU OWE ME A KEYBOARD!" Like, what the FUCK, you crazy 20-cat psychos? FRESH AIR, people.

How long has SNL been using a laugh track?

I'm only vaguely curious about why none of the many articles on Nikki Finke have mentioned her EXCELLENT DECISION to get me to cover Comic-Con two years running.

I guess it's not as news-grabbing as other stuff she does, but certainly a good call. Even DP admitted as much.

Yeah, they need to talk up Lou; Not like Nikki Louise Fletcher would be braving the cameraman-from-MAN BITES DOG-looking masses at ComicCon.

HEY, speaking of COMICCON shit, WHEN does JONAH HEX come out?

FOX POWER 4 ALL ETERNITY. I'm gonna blow like Dante's Peak when I see that.

I LOVE MEGAN FOX MORE THAN ANYONE OR ANYTHING WHO HAS EVER LIVED ON THIS PLANET.

She is SO DELIGHTFUL and FUN and SEXY and AVANT-GARDAY (TM Pink) and EXCELLENT and CHAAAAAAARMING and COOL. Yet DAVID SILVER is also GOD, so MAD FUCKING PROPS to that dude.

How can you guys NOT LOVE HER? SHE IS THE BEST EVER. FOX 4 EVER.

"I LOVE MEGAN FOX MORE THAN ANYONE OR ANYTHING WHO HAS EVER LIVED ON THIS PLANET."

Yeah, this is one of the reasons why some of us think you're disgusting. And not even because you're thinking it, but becuase you went to all the trouble of TYPING it. I can't imagine how you think you can ever unveil your veiled cyber-persona, ever.

Jeff? A hint:

It's called H-U-M-O-R.

I'm sure MEGAN THE GODDESS would totally get it (not that she reads the Hot Blog probably.) Even THE B.A.G. would probably think it was funny. It is beyond harmless and silly.

And at least in my part of the woods, having an unrequited crush on a pretty girl who literally doesn't know you exist isn't generally considered "disgusting."

It's called "life."

And you don't get it: S-H-A-M-E.
Also, I-R-O-N-Y. Double whammy, you self-described narcissist.

It's hip to read TWOP?

Fuck no. TWOP is a horrible place to discuss anything. No wonder Lex likes it.

I like TWOP. It's fun to read about my favorite TV shows from a woman's perspective.

Newsflash to Lex: the internet doesn't only consist of 14-28 year olds. A lot of older people are online, and a whole bunch of them have never heard of Lady Gaga, which makes them smarter than the rest of us, because in a perfect world Lady Gaga wouldn't exist.

Second newsflash to Lex: Word on ScarJo on SNL. I haven't seen it in years, but I watched the first half hour (turned it off during that abominable Kenan Thompson sketch) and when ScarJo popped up, she wasn't the only thing to pop up, if you know what I mean (tm LexG).

"And at least in my part of the woods, having an unrequited crush on a pretty girl who literally doesn't know you exist isn't generally considered "disgusting."

Except when you reduce your crush to Kong shooting a load on the object of your affection.

WHAT I DON'T GET is how this is a FILM BLOG for FILM TYPE PEOPLE and NO ONE TALKS ABOUT ENTOURAGE except occasionally Poland; Shouldn't every BYOB ever be filled with analysis of the show THAT DEPICTS WHAT YOU WANT TO BE?

Did anyone watch the AWESOME SEASON FINALE?

DID YOU SEE when the UCLA CHICK was on her bed with her feet up behind her, rolling around on the bed? HOLY SHIT TOTAL GIANT BONER; That chick is SO MUCH HOTTER THAN MEADOW SOPRANOS; What was TURTLE THINKING? But that was funny as fuck when he couldn't get it up but felt bad so he's all, "You want me to go down on you?"

GOOD IDEA TURTLE. BEST SHOW EVER CREATED BY HUMANS.

Then Piven comes in shooting off paintballs. Wouldn't that get you sued? Who cares, it was FUNNY AS FUCK when he came in blasting on Adam Davies.

SLOANE POWER. UCLA CHICK POWER. GRENIER POWER.

AND ALMIGHTY DILLON AND PIVEN POWER, BEST ACTORS IN THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD. THIS SHOW IS LIFE. IT IS GOD. Why didn't you watch it?

Best episode ever.

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