As I find myself longing never to write about Titanic again, I think that I can get The Postman almost all the way out of my system today. There's no actual news or anything, but in L.A. it's become very fashionable to cleanse your body and soul of unclean thoughts and other waste by force. So, here goes.
KUNDUN UNDONE: After a lackluster release by Disney in the U.S., Australia's Village Roadshow, Disney's normal distribution outlet down under, has passed on the distribution of the film. Is it a coincidence that A.V.R. is negotiating multiplex deals on mainland China and Hong Kong that might be complicated by the totalitarian depiction of the Chinese in Martin Scorsese's small masterpiece? Demonstrators who camped out in front of their offices last week didn't think so. A.V.R. execs claim that it's just business, but that hasn't kept The Postman from hitting Aussie screens. Village Roadshow hasn't spindled or mutilated Scorsese's film, but they've definitely folded.

MOD UPDATE: A couple of week's ago (link to: http://www.roughcut.com/today/hot.button/980319_thu.html), I told you about Aaron Spelling's search for two young co-stars to star opposite Claire Danes in the feature version of The Mod Squad. Well, they found a Pete in Giovanni Ribisi, a very talented comic actor who you may remember as Frank, Jr. on "Friends" or from his starring role in Richard Linklater's SubUrbia. Or, as the theme column continues, from his role in The Postman, which co-starred the original Julie, Peggy Lipton. I love when an item goes full circle.

THE MARRYING MAC: I know this will send all of you away in tears, but Macaulay Culkin is tying the knot (and not around his dad's neck). At the ripe old age of 17, Mac is engaged to Diary of Anne Frank star Rachel Miner. His publicist tried to get him engaged to the real star of Anne Frank, Natalie Portman, but her ring finger is committed to a publicity stunt in which she gets engaged to Leonardo DiCaprio. Can you imagine the cat fight? (Not between the women, between Leo and Mac). Almost makes you want to make a $100 million movie about a post-apocalyptic world whose primary remnants of the past seem to be made up primarily of product placements. (I know, there was no connection. You come up with a Postman reference that fits and e-mail it to me!)

JUST WONDERING: Kevin Costner will certainly survive The Postman, but does the film's failure give an excuse to people who don't want to make Larenz Tate a movie star?

THE MINNIE WATCH: After a month or so of worrying about Minnie Driver's love life, here's a little work news. She's picked her next film. It's called An Ideal husband. Oh, Minnie! You deserve the perfect husband! That Matt Damon! He'll pay for dumping you! With God as my witness, I'll avenge you! Uh, did I get off track? Driver will co-star in the film which is being adapted from the Oscar Wilde play and directed by Oliver Parker, the guy who adapted and directed the Laurence ("Don't Call Me Larry!") Fishburne Othello that burned and crashed a couple of years ago. No one from The Postman has been cast yet, though Olivia Williams would fit nicely, I think.

DATING YOURSELF: Ready for the next "Why Did Everyone Make The Same Movie This Year" phenom? It's dating schools. Yes, we insane people on the coasts are paying others to tell us how to date. (And when that doesn't work, some of us are paying for sex. Right, Charlie?) DreamWorks is adapting an article from Mademoiselle magazine (kind of like adapting a political philosophy from a three-fold pamphlet) called I Went to Date School. That dating legend, Danny DeVito and his Jersey Films has purchased rights to the story of the company the Mademoiselle article focused on, First Impressions. And the guy who brought us Wild Things has a script in the market called Date School, about a nerd who gets a date he didn't expect to get (with the hottest high school hottie) and decides he needs a lesson on how to date. Of course, in that version, everyone ends up naked or dead or both. Much like in, you guessed it, The Postman.

READER OF THE DAY: From Loyd Movie: "Glad you're as interested in the 'missing' Oscar winners as I seem to be. But you left off a few -- just a few -- like Olivia De Havilland, Art Carney, Joan Fontaine, John Gielgud, Alec Guinness, Goldie Hawn, Eileen Heckart, Wendy Hiller, Katharine Hepburn, Kim Hunter, Glenda Jackson, Lila Kedrova, Sophia Loren, Dorothy Malone, John Mills, Tatum O'Neal, Liza Minnelli, Jason Robards, Anthony Quinn, George C. Scott, Beatrice Straight, Peter Ustinov, Loretta Young, Jane Wyman, Maureen Stapleton and Paul Scofield. Yes, I know many of these stars are close to 90, but 88-year-old Luise Rainer made it! And she's only one year older than a certain Best-Supporting-Actress-Oscar nominee who should be a winner now and her movie would've beat that chariot race movie."

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Grease is the weird. I'm getting exhausted trying to figure out Paramount's box office results every week. Titanic was down 7 percent from last week, despite the Oscars, to $16 million. This surprised me, as for a change, I expected the film to do better than it actually did. On the flip side, Grease had the kind of three day skid that is usually reserved for the very worst films with the very biggest stars. But there shouldn't have been word-of-mouth problems on the 20-year-old classic. Grease opened in first on Friday with $6.1 million. That should have led to at least a $19 million weekend. But on Saturday, instead of going up at the box office as almost all films do, it dropped to $4.2 million, meaning that it had to do under $3 million on Sunday. The film's $13 million total is hardly an embarrassment. It's even close to my prediction, but you still gotta wonder.
Leo beat John to the finish line, but the third and fourth place spots reversed the placement of the superstar challengers, with Travolta winning over DiCaprio in the celluloid forms of Primary Colors ($7.3 million) and The Man In The Iron Mask ($6.6 million). In non-John and Leo films, Wild Things took fifth and the other Oscars winners, As Good as It Gets and Good Will Hunting both did well, increasing their box office takes. The news on the other newcomers fits perfectly into The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

THE GOOD: Ride, a Miramax/Dimension release that only hit 492 screens this weekend, managed to gross $2.6 million. That's a $5,242 per-screen average, better than any film in the Top 10 other than Grease. This comes just four weeks after Live Entertainment had a surprise success, also directed to the urban market, with Caught Up. With New Line moving back into this area as well, the competition should continue to heat up as the year continues.

THE BAD: The Newton Boys managed just $4 million, despite opening on 1,964 screens. That's a $2,037 per-screen average. Not good. The execs out there who have been fighting for the right to pay Matthew McConaughey $12 million for his next picture are probably doing double-takes this morning.

THE UGLY: No one showed up to Meet the Deedles, which opened on 1,762 screens and managed to pull in only $2.2 million for a $1,762 per-screen average. That's ugly.

CONTEST WINNER: No one got the Top Five right. No one. Most of you were killed by The Newton Boys. Ironic, since the brothers pride themselves on non-violence in the movie. Things were so tough this week that just getting the Top Four was enough to put Brandon Gray in the winner's circle. E-mail me and the stuff is yours, Brandon.

NEXT WEEK'S CONTEST: Forget the ShoWest stuff. New Line is kicking in a complete package of cool stuff from Lost In Space to next weekend's box office winner. It's time for all of you who aren't entering to get on the box office bandwagon.

TWO BAD MOVIES EQUAL: Dangerous Beauty + The Newton Boys = Dangerous Newtons. Matthew McConaughey is the beautiful psychopath who is poisoning the Fig Newton supply of a large Northeastern city. Catherine McCormack is the beautiful police psychologist who can't decide whether to love him or lock him up. With Ethan Hawke as the beautiful former boyfriend, Skeet Ulrich as the beautiful Fig Newton junior executive who figures out chocolate is the antidote and Vincent D'Onofrio as the guy who can't decide whether he's extremely beautiful, extremely fat or a giant bug. With a guest appearance by Rufus Sewell, who is extremely beautiful and a giant bug.

JUST WONDERING: Had Titanic opened last summer and The Truman Show opened at Christmas, would we all be talking about how it was Jim Carrey's year as he had the smash hit Liar Liar and an Academy Award for his performance in The Truman Show?

BAD AD WATCH: Well, these aren't really that bad, but most of my teeth have rotted out since reading the ad. Barney's Great Adventure is coming and the ad is running with eight quotes from kids, ages 2 to 7. From pull quotes "Super Dee-Super" to "My Most Favorite Thing Ever," a bunch of pre-schoolers are doing Jeanne Wolf's job for her.

READER OF THE DAY: Denise offers a response to the weekend's Reader of the Day that echoes the thoughts of many: "While I agree that all of James Horner's soundtracks sound very similar, I think this is true of most film composers. They all have a readily identifiable style. In fact, my family makes somewhat of a game of guessing the composer of a soundtrack when we see a film. Danny Elfman is even easier to identify than Horner. Although I am not one of Titanic's rabid fans, I do feel that the music was a perfect fit for the film and was emotionally powerful. The award is not given for what style of music one likes or whether it sounds different to a composer's other works. It's based on how well the music helped tell the story of any one particular film. In Titanic, Horner succeeded in bringing out the feel of the era, culture, epic grandeur and emotional highs and lows of the film. In fact, I think his soundtrack made me feel more emotion than the actors did."

And T.D. Putney adds: "Hey Erik....Before you go on a anti-James Horner campaign maybe you should get your facts straight. Hans Zimmer made Backdraft...Nice try though."

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There was only one story this week, so all of this week's top 10 stories are somehow Oscar related. After this, you'll get an Academy breather, with the race for 1998's Oscar pretty much on hold until October. Which brings up one interesting thought: Had Titanic premiered in July 1997 as planned, it's unlikely that it would be blessed with 11 Oscars and over $1 billion today. Fate is an amazing thing.
10. Going Away Mad: A Michigan-based research film did a telephone poll after the Academy Awards and asked who was the worst-dressed of the night. Madonna "won" the contest, with Cher running second. Perhaps Madonna shouldn't have borrowed a dress from Kirstie Alley's wardrobe from "Veronica's Closet."

9. Leo Shows Up. Naked!: Leonardo DiCaprio is suing Playgirl magazine for planning to publish nudes of the Academy-snubbed actor in next month's issue. Of course, this is kind of silly since Leo has appeared buck naked in two films already. Maybe he's concerned he doesn't fill the frame quite like former Playgirl-litigating model Brad Pitt. You know what they say: the longer the name.

8. Ben Hurt: When Titanic tied Ben-Hur with 11 Oscar wins on Monday night, ol' Ben-Hur himself showed he still takes the races pretty seriously. "I know they're comparing this to Ben-Hur, and that it tied with Ben-Hur," bitched Charlton Heston. "Well, there were a lot fewer categories back then, so for it to win 11 was a real coup. Today, it's a lot easier to get 11, so I think Ben-Hur still beats out Titanic." Not too classy, Chuck. No truth to the rumor that when he ran into Jim Cameron at an after-party he said, "Get your stinkin' hands off me, you filthy ape!" Ironically, the hottest rumor of the moment has "The King Of The World" Cameron setting his sights on remaking Planet of the Apes (at Titanic's senior-partner studio, 20th Century Fox) as his next project with Ahnuld in the loincloth that N.R.A. Charlie once wore. (Well, not literally the same one. That would be gross!) This is all possible because Universal pulled the plug on Ahnuld's most pressing project, I Am Legend, which was a re-make of The Omega Man, which was (surprise!) a Charlton Heston movie.

7. Matt & Minnie - The Final Chapter: Word is that Minnie Driver, Matt Damon and Winona Ryder all occupied the same 10 square feet of party on Monday night, sending Minnie away in tears. This will hopefully be the very last public chapter in the most public break-up since Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher. And keep this in mind, Minnie. Eddie Fisher. Just keep saying it to yourself. Eddie Fisher. Debbie Reynolds is still making movies. Eddie Fisher.

6. All About Ashley: Howard Stern and many others spent Tuesday reviewing the state of Ashley Judd's undergarments, or lack of such, as the actress strode across Oscar's stage Monday night. Her publicists kept the conversation alive by issuing a stern denial. I happened to have taped the awards. After watching the tape in slo-mo, over and over, I am convinced of two things. One, I don't care about catching a fleeting glance at a beautiful woman's private parts nearly as much as I did when I was in high school. And two, that girl was footloose and panty free.

5. Missing: The line-up of former acting Oscar-winners was surprisingly incomplete. Frank Sinatra, Elizabeth Taylor and Barbra Streisand were all out on sick leave. Paul Newman, Joanne Woodward, Al Pacino, William Hurt, Sissy Spacek, Diane Keaton, Gene Hackman, Marlon Brando (who didn't accept his Oscar in the first place), Christopher Walken, Paul Scofield and Daniel Day-Lewis are all notorious no-shows. But where were Tom Hanks, Jodie Foster, Nicolas Cage, F. Murray Abraham, Emma Thompson, Sally Field, Shirley MacLaine, Meryl Streep, Kevin Spacey, Tommy Lee Jones, Kevin Kline (whose father-in-law, Gil Cates, produced the award show), Dianne Wiest, Mercedes Ruehl, Olympia Dukakis, Linda Hunt, Jessica Lange, Mary Steenburgen, Julie Andrews, Jane Fonda and Patty Duke?

4. Good Jim Paying: WhenTitanic looked like an iffy proposition, Jim Cameron gave his rights to profit participation in the film back to the studios (Fox & Paramount) as a show of support. $1 billion-plus later, everyone agrees that he should get it back. The question is, how much will the studios fork over? The latest rumor is that a check for $100 million will soon be headed Cameron's way. That's almost enough for Cameron to make a movie trailer!

3. The Sound of Money: Cameron's not the only one who will be passing the eight-figure payday for Titanic. Composer James Horner, who won an Oscar for his score and another for writing the mega-hit "My Heart Will Go On," earned $800,000 for scoring the film and will get a royalty of about $1.20 for every Titanic album sold. That looks to add up to about $20 million, which means a lot of Horner's new favorite music: Cha Ching!

2. Sunday Night At The Oscars: Next year, Oscar will be making the move from Monday night, where it has been for 45 years, to Sunday night. Why? There's more money for ABC on Sunday than on Monday. Oh, and the traffic will be easier to deal with in L.A. (Sure, that's the reason.) The event may also start an hour earlier to accommodate the early risers. So, why is this bad for the movie business even though it's good for T.V.? Sunday night is the third best night of the week at the box office. Monday is generally the worst.

1. Back To The Boat: Eleven Oscars meant more than a 50 percent increase this week for Titanic box office receipts, pushing the film past the $500 million mark domestically even before the weekend. As Good As It Gets and Good Will Hunting also showed increases, but both films had already fallen well below the $10 million a weekend mark. Titanic's increase means that it will likely fight off Grease for the top spot at the box office this weekend. That would be week 15 on top.

Reader Of The Day: From Erik: "It amazes me that James Horner is getting accolades with a soundtrack that is a rehash of every score he's done since the early '90s. Even the Oscar-winning 'My Heart Will Go On' is reminiscent of the Diana Ross ballad sung for Land Before Time. His music is popular only because it has a wider audience now -- listen to Braveheart, Aliens, Star Trek II, Land Before Time, Backdraft, and you'll see where he got the inspiration for Titanic: Himself. Thanks for offering a forum to allow film nerds like me rant about pointless subjects!"

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It's the weekend of the dead at the box office this week. Titanic is rising, Grease is being resurrected and Primary Colors may be dead and buried in just its second week. The only real competition against The Big Boat for the top spot will be Grease, but has the hype been loud enough to launch the musical to stellar numbers? Last year, Paramount re-released The Godfather the weekend before the Academy Awards and it got lost in the golden hype. This year, Grease follows the Oscars, but it takes more than a couple of days to get we thirty- and forty-somethings excited. (Ain't aging grand?) I see Titanic moving back upstream to about $18 million and Grease stuck at about $15 million. Wild Things looks like it's ready to slide up the list to third (with about $9 million) as positive word of mouth starts to supersede Sony's T&A ad campaign. I see Primary Colors dropping to about $8.2 million with The Man in the Iron Mask close in tow with about $7.6 million. That would be your top five. The other new wide releases are Disney's Meet the Deedles </strong>and Fox's The Newton Boys. My hopes aren't too high for either. If either passes the $5 million mark, I'll be amazed. I'll guess $3 million and $3.5 million. You tell me which is which.
THE GOOD: John Travolta is still the word. For all of the Primary Colors problems, J.T. still opened the film effectively. Grease will re-open in no small part due to his draw. And everyone in town still likes the guy. Not just good. Miraculous.

THE BAD: The Men That Would Be Movie Stars, Matthew McConaughey and Ethan Hawke, will likely prove once again that magazine covers and great abs do not a movie star make when The Newton Boys opens to soft business this weekend. Of course, those things can get you a baby via Uma Thurman, so I guess it's not all bad. I happen to like Richard Linklater as a filmmaker and I also feel he's brought out the best in both men in the past. Hopefully, this film is better than the hype machine.

THE UGLY: Are we witnessing the end of Dennis Hopper's career again? He's the only movie star name in the cast of Meet the Deedles, but he doesn't show up in the ads or trailer in any way shape or form. On the other hand, not being connected to the Deedles could be a dream come true for the '60s icon.

TWO BAD MOVIES EQUAL: Meet the Deedles + A Price Above Rubies = Meet the Price Above Deedles. From Disney and Burn Hollywood Burn creator Joe Eszterhas. Two blond surfer dudes pretend to be orthodox Jews in order to get a discount on 47th Street in New York City. Hilarity ensues when a quick circumcision is all that stands between the boys and $1 million in diamonds. Co-starring Matthew McConaughey as The Moyle.

JUST WONDERING: If we all loved Stanley Donen's performance at the Academy Awards so much, why won't any of the studios make a single romantic musical comedy?

BAD AD WATCH: Wide Awake is currently in limited release, but it will soon be at a theater near you. Apparently the second-tier reviewer from Sixty Second Preview covered the film because Jeff Craig's name is nowhere to be seen. But his associate did him proud, offering up two exclamation points in one pull quote. "BRIGHT, FUNNY & OVERFLOWING WITH HEART! Wide Awake is destined to become a classic coming-of-age movie!"

CONTEST: Beat me, beat everyone else and beat the odds and there's a prize from an upcoming movie waiting just for you. There's a neat shirt for Deep Impact, a purple and lamé 54 shirt or your very own copy of the original The Odd Couple up for grabs. Pick the order and grosses of the top five, plus the other new films that won't make the quintet and you get to pick your prize.

GREAT TV: Generally, in deference to our parent company, TNT, I wouldn't be sending you to other cable channels, but if you like The Hot Button or The Whole Picture, you will love Split Screen, the series from independent producers John and Janet Pierson on the Independent Film Channel. Particularly Saturday's show, which has a segment on writing seminars that is so sharp and dead-on funny, it's a classic. It airs at 10:15 p.m. and 3:15 a.m.

READER OF THE DAY: From Rob S: "Was it just me, or did anyone else think it would've been cool if Bart the Bear had gotten loose?"

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Can't get enough of the Big Boat? Well, Oscar-winning composer James Horner will be touring the country this summer with his Titanic score and more, including a 30-minute suite of music that was cut out of the movie, "Titanic: The Composer's Cut." Guess this is kind of like the Shine tour last year only I'll be the only one shaking my head and talking to myself as the music plays.

MOUSE DROPPING: Your husband just won three Academy Awards, you were in a $100 million movie last year and you're still a blonde bombshell. What are you gonna do? Linda Hamilton is going to Disney's world! She just signed to voice the evil demi-goddess Nemesis on Disney's TV version of Hercules. Things are tough all over.

JUST WONDERING: Is Kevin Bacon doing a nude scene in Wild Things tat for tit?

KNIGHT AND DAY: Les Visiteurs is one of the highest-grossing comedies of all time in France. Yes, even bigger than The Nutty Professor. But when the film arrived in the U.S., seemingly predestined for remaking, nothing happened. Why? The film is based around two medieval knights transported into modern day. The argument was made that there is no tradition of knighthood in America, so the central premise was faulty for an American remake. But John Hughes sees it differently. No word on what the Home Alone creator will do to make the concept U.S.-friendly, but at some point, I expect to find the lost knights in a house that three burglars are trying to rob.

LOW-LITA NEWS: I have been critical of the censorship buzz around the distribution problems of Adrian Lyne's Lolita up until now. I still say the biggest mistake the production made was making the film before having a domestic distributor. When a movie like Basic Instinct got into trouble, the director could take the heat. But if a studio buys Lolita, the finished product, there are no excuses to make. On top of that, the film demands a minimum of $15-$20 million in prints and advertising to launch. The commercial failure of sexually controversial films like Henry and June and Showgirls means even that minimal amount could be wasted money. All that aside, the refusal of playdates on pay-per-view by DirecTV, Request TV and Viewer's Choice can be seen as nothing less than censorship. Hard to claim that Howard Stern and "His Many Lesbians" is OK to sell but a film based on a classic novel is not. A film that has already removed any nudity by the body double for the 12-year-old title starlet of the film. The one cable outlet still in talks with the producers is Showtime Networks, the exclusive cable home of The Red Shoe Diaries, Beverly Hills Bordello and the aforementioned classic, Showgirls.

READER OF THE DAY: From Geoff W: "While Stanley Donen's speech may have been more gracious than Cameron's, they both were the products of the pure joy that they each felt. Plus, Donen's was rehearsed and planned. Cameron was king of the world and shouldn't be criticized for saying it. That was how he felt and how most people would feel. Especially after spending three years of his life on the film and having to deal with all the criticism before the movie came out. Congratulations James."

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Give me a T! Give me an I! Give me a T! Give me an A! OK, enough of that! It's over. Titanic came pretty close to sweeping. Eleven Oscars. Can't really argue with any of them. Would I have made a few different calls myself? Sure. Those of you who have been reading this column for a while know that I have some problems with the Big Boat. But I can't deny that the film has left the hearts of millions floating on air. There's not a film amongst the Best Picture nominees that I actually dislike. And none that I think is so far above the expert craftsmanship of Titanic that I was rooting for or against any of them. The only winner that I was disappointed by -- and I know that many of you disagree -- was Helen Hunt.
Even in the clip they showed for Best Film, she was more loud than deep to me. But her win seemed to fit in with the theme of the evening. Inevitability. There was more passion from the "other" award winners than from the big eight. Affleck and Damon tried really hard, but there was that moment where you got the feeling that Matt sensed a comedic lull and decided to start yelling. Jack jumping the lines in the floor didn't play in the theater because no one there could see the lines. Kim Basinger was kind of sweet, but I had that creepy feeling that Alec Baldwin is going to go Star 80 on us. (Just kidding, Alec. Don't hit me.) Somehow, a bunch of Oscars on top of a billion dollars seems like gilding the lily. Nonetheless, congratulations to all the winners.

MY FAVORITE MOMENT: Stanley Donen's song and dance. I've never seen a better prepared acceptance from an award recipient. It had all the charm of a Donen film. Lovely.

MOST GRACIOUS MOMENT: Kevin Costner poking fun at himself as The Postman in the filmed opening. You may have noticed that there weren't many laughs from the audience. That film scared Hollywood so much that it was a bit like telling a joke about the Holocaust in a synagogue. And I'm not exaggerating.

PRESENT AND UNACCOUNTED FOR: On an evening with so many Oscar winners in the audience ("You are Fay Wray, aren't you?"), did it seem odd to you that the Academy had Antonio Banderas, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez, Drew Barrymore, Alec Baldwin and Matt Dillon handing out awards? Gotta love the Academy's appreciation for demographics!

THE OSCAR-WINNING LINE-UP: That thing took forever! I mean, I love that kind of thing, but it seemed to go on for half an hour. The thrill was gone somewhere around George Kennedy. And what started creeping into my head was all the people who were missing. I guess that Jodie Foster didn't want to meet the press. Barbra has a backache. Gary Busey showed up to be on last night's Oscar episode of "Politically Incorrect," but he wasn't on stage at the Oscars. And where were Tom Hanks, F. Murray Abraham, Emma Thompson, Sally Field, Shirley MacLaine, Meryl Streep, Kevin Spacey, Tommy Lee Jones, Kevin Kline, Diane Weist, Mercedes Ruehl, Olympia Dukakis, Linda Hunt, Jessica Lange and Mary Steenbergen? Paul Newman, Daniel Day-Lewis, Al Pacino, Nicolas Cage, William Hurt, Sissy Spacek, Diane Keaton, Gene Hackman and Chris Walken all get a pass for being notoriously absent on a regular basis. But what about Jane Fonda? On the night her brother was nominated for an Academy Award? Weird.

IT'S NOT A DATE: It was nice that Ben and Matt decided to bring the family, but couldn't they get Gwyneth and Winona a couple of seats? Hell hath no fury like a P.R.-based romance scorned.

GOOD MINNIE HURTING: Minnie Driver looked so lost when the boys went up for their screenplay Oscar. Again. I don't remember seeing this kind of public agony from a star since Madonna broke with Sean Penn.

SPEAKING OF WITCH: Did Madonna seem distracted, unhappy, catty and generally pissed while introducing other performers for Best Song? She did to me. Plus, the leather gown seemed like an ad for her album and the new shape of her busom seemed like an ad for motherhood.

BILLY RATES: Crystal was right. He should have gotten out after a great performance last year. He was fine, but the material was pretty soft this year. The best part of the Oscar song was the opening to the "Gilligan's Island" theme song. All downhill from there, except maybe for getting in Jack's lap. Crystal may be the perfect Oscar host. He is the only one (as opposed to Letterman, Leno or Dennis Miller) who is really a part of the community. But it was a little stale this time out. Maybe he, Robin and Whoopi should combine Comic Relief and the Oscars next year. All those tuxedos and the homeless. Could be great.

WHY DID THEY: Have to do a dance number? They had to know it would stink. Have giant cookie cutters for Oscar cookies on stage? I kept looking for the cookies. Go to close-ups on Spike Lee and Sidney Poitier when Samuel Jackson came on stage? Maybe they wanted to make Academy segregation more obvious Have a woman from Anastasia flying? I guess they thought it was still last year and they were doing The English Patient.

THE ANTI-OSCARS: On Sunday, Kevin Costner swept the Razzies with wins in every category for which it was nominated, taking worst picture, worst director, worst actor, worst screenplay and worst song. Other Razzie winners were Alicia Silverstone, Dennis Rodman, Speed 2, Con Air and, unfairly I think, Demi Moore, for G.I. Jane.

READER OF THE DAY: That would have to be the winner of my little Oscar contest. There were two people who made the right picks on 19 of the 24 Academy Awards given out last night. Both got all 11 Titanic Oscars. But one of them thought that Titanic would get an even dozen. Yes, Gloria Stuart threw the diamond overboard and she threw Joel Bergen right over the edge too. Our winner got all 11 Titanic nods and all eight of the major awards. When she writes about Jim Cameron, she adds, "a.k.a. JC, a.k.a. Jordan Catalano, a.k.a. Jesus Christ." SheÕs a world-class smart-ass form the University of Michigan. Erin Podolsky, come on down!

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Primary Colors opened last Friday to a lot of analysis comparing John Travolta's Jack Stanton to Bill Clinton and not very much box office. America is sick of talking, thinking and, ultimately, wallowing in Clinton's affairs of state. Life is good and it would be even better if all this sex and scandal talk would just go away. But there are these movies (add Wag the Dog to the mix), throwing all this uncomfortable stuff right back into our faces. And that's how Primary Colors has become the Rorschach Test of feature films for those of us who have seen it, whether as part of our jobs or by choice. For some, it's too kind to Bill. For others, it brazenly wallows in the negative side of Bill Clinton. To me, that's a triumph, not a failing.
This is the gray of reality, folks. It's not about Bill Clinton. It's about selective morality. It's about the politicians that live in our brains. It's about an America that has become so cynical and jaded that there are no rationalizations too big to work through. It's about an America that makes up its mind, then changes the rules to fit our desires. It's about settling. We bit the apple in the political Garden of Eden during Watergate and now we know too much to go back. And boy does that tick us off. When a movie comes along and mocks us for that loss of innocence, well, watch out!

I always remember going to see Hurlyburly on Broadway with a friend many years ago. She was ready to walk out 20 minutes into the show. "I know all those screwed-up people," she said, "Why do I need to pay $50 a ticket to see them on a stage?" I finally came to understand what she meant. She didn't hate those people. She hated herself for being a part of their lives for so long. For knowing that they were sick, but not taking the responsibility to walk away. Facing the things we've rationalized is unpleasant. And nobody wants to pay $50 for the right to do it or even $7.50 to do it in a movie theater.

That's why I think Primary Colors (and Wag the Dog for that matter) won't get their due until the millennium has come and gone. Never before have films that so defined their eras been made in such close proximity to their subjects. In fact, some of Primary Colors' director Mike Nichols' other films still stand as iconic representations of their time. The Graduate, Carnal Knowledge, Working Girl and Postcards From the Edge all define the distinct and often unpleasant "progress" of American society. From innocence lost to uncontrolled libido to the lost souls of the Reagan era to the self-deception we couldn't stay one step ahead of anymore. But those were all late in the game. By the time Melanie Griffith was overcoming power-mad Sigourney Weaver, Gordon Gekko had already been shredded in Wall Street. Primary Colors opens the Oval Office door even before the zipper has a chance to be zipped. Who the hell wants to see that? And if you do want to see it, do you want to admit it to your friends?

The Clinton administration defined the era themselves. It's called "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." The solution is in avoidance, not in the truth. As Bill Maher likes to scream on "Politically Incorrect," "Clinton only lied because he was asked a question that he shouldn't have been asked." Apparently, Mike Nichols has told the story that shouldn't be told. But I, for one, am glad he did.

READER OF THE DAY: From Eric J: "Stanley Donen possesses something today's stars lack -- humility. Plus his song and dance was not only appropriate but fun. (Definitely better than any of the other dance numbers.) What a contrast compared to James Cameron (of whom I am a big fan); his 'I'm king of the world' and moment of silence were annoying and disappointing. Talk about trite. I thought James had more class than that."

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The story of the weekend wasn't so much the continuing success of Titanic, which actually took a bump up over the weekend, but the relatively dismal showing of Primary Colors. Looks like Universal execs were right for a change when they insisted on keeping the budget for the comedic drama down, even with John Travolta. (Don't worry. They'll be making up for that bout of insight with the meaninglessly titled Mercury Rising.) It was never even a contest. Titanic won by just 17 percent on Friday, but on both Saturday and Sunday, the Big Boat maintained a 33 percent lead on Mike Nichols' Roman a' Cliff Arquette. Which, to me, is a shame, since I happen to think this is an important film. (I have already heard disagreement on that from a few of you, but I'm going to have to respectfully disagree.) Leo dropped his Iron Mask this weekend to the tune of 35 percent, as many of you expected. U.S. Marshals did the same. Wild Things rode the T&A wagon to a surprising $9.6 million. And Mr. Nice Guy gathered up $5 million, which for a quickie release, ain't too bad.

THE GOOD: Wild Things. I expected little more than Denise Richards' busom and Kevin Bacon's weenie. And both were there, but this is not a film about body parts. John McNaughton has made a very funny, genre-bending, revisionist noir comedy that will have a long life in film schools for years to come. Now I know why Sony dumped the film. They couldn't figure out how to sell it, so they went for the boobs. This film is much richer than that and deserved better. Critics who took it too seriously just didn't get it, much as they didn't get McNaughton's Mad Dog and Glory, which was grossly underrated. I was truly thrilled to find this film, which I expected to be schlock, to be a bit of mad genius.

THE BAD: The buzz around Primary Colors continues to be about the Clinton angle, but as much as the film is Clinton's story, it's about more than one candidate. It's about the state of politics in this era. As it happens, I also revisited Wag the Dog this weekend and on my third viewing, I still found myself laughing out loud at some parts of the film. It's a shame that quality work that so incisively reflects a period of American history, like such films as Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Dr. Strangelove, The Candidate and Bob Roberts, is being missed just because the current President has made the films too close to reality for comfort.

THE UGLY: The Independent Spirit Awards were handed out Saturday to many recipients who should have been recognized by the Academy this year. Eve's Bayou took a couple of statues, as did Chasing Amy (which was not my personal fave, but lots of people loved the film). In the Academy wheelhouse, Robert Duvall won Best Director, Best Actor and Best Feature and Julie Christie won for Afterglow. My guess is that these honors were better than just being nominated, but "it's an honor just to be nominated" will likely have to suffice tonight.

CONTEST WINNER: This week was excruciatingly close between two guys. Both got the order of the Top Five right, and one of them -- Chode60005 -- was the only person to hit the exact number on Primary Colors, $12.4 million. But Chode was undone by a $2.1 million over-estimation on Wild Things. Dan Krovich didn't hit any nails on their heads, but he did better overall in the Top Five and was within $100,000 of the right number on Mr. Nice Guy. So, Dan is our winner! Congratulations and your T-shirt will be on its way shortly.

TWO UNLIKELY-TO-WIN OSCAR-NOMINATED MOVIES EQUAL: The Full Monty + As Good As It Gets = As Good As The Full Monty Gets. In an effort to suck a few more dollars out of a really good idea for a movie, Paramount and Fox co-produce this film, which features Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Djimon Hunsou, Robin Williams, Burt Reynolds and Jack Nicholson stripping for two straight hours. The budget soars to over $200 million as the costs for prosthetic makers, pubic hair weaves and personal trainers take off into the stratosphere. After test-screening audiences find that Nicholson's naked body is even harder to handle than the truth, Kevin Bacon's naked body is hired to replace Nicholson's by way of computer graphics. Burt Reynolds walks out of the premiere and fires his agent, his manager and his housekeeper for getting him into the film. Djimon is gracious and claims that he understands why his privates are the only ones not shown in the film. The rumors about him overshadowing the others just aren't true. Williams appears naked, but no one can find any of his body parts through the hair. And Affleck and Damon arrive at the premiere with their new wives, the Barbie Twins.

JUST WONDERING: Will any of this year's major nominees be back for more next year?

BAD OSCAR AD WATCH: Newsweek called the screenplay for Good Will Hunting "tangy." But one ad based around Oscar itself is for American Express. It shows that 20 out of 25 nominees in the directing and acting categories are American Express cardholders. My question: What about the other five? Nicholson, Hoffman, Robin Williams, Judi Dench and Julie Christie are the missing members. Seems like being off the list is the cooler place to be.

READER OF THE DAY: From Steve: "If Matt Damon meets Minnie Driver Oscar night and both of them win, who will they thank?"

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10. Restaurant Armageddon: Bruce Willis may be able to save the earth this summer, but his restaurant is under a threat worse than an asteroid. The 87-unit Planet Hollywood chain has had its credit rated as "junk" by Standard & Poors. Corporate analyst Dawn Hu says "the themed restaurant sector carries even higher business risks than other restaurant formats." More risks for customers, too. Bad food, expensive T-shirts and the very real threat of seeing a piece of memorabilia that will remind you of Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot.
9. Racing With Ford: It looks like Ford U.K. is the European equivalent of America's Denny's. For the second time this year, they've had to pull an ad over complaints of racism. This time, it's an ad based on The Full Monty that features four dancing men. But none is black, unlike the movie. That may not seem serious, but the last pulled ad featured a photo of four black assembly workers who had been given white faces.

8. Jew Gotta Be Kidding: Jerry Maguire's Renee Zellweger is playing a Jewish woman who clashes with orthodox rules in A Price Above Rubies and some Hassids don't like it. But their protest wasn't well attended. Only 18 people showed up. Director Boaz Yakin laughed, "I could get a better turn out with my co-op board."

7. Le' Porno: Finally, a way to erase the deficit and lower taxes at the same time. And we have the French to thank for it. The French Health Ministry is partially financing five short X-rated films to promote condom use. No comment on the trend from the Clinton White House, but we may have just found a post-Presidential gig for Bill.

6. Semi-Pro or Con: The story got out via The New York Post last week that actors Matt Damon and Edward Norton were so into their roles as gamblers in Miramax's Rounders (which we referred to last week as Good Will Gambling) that they would play in Las Vegas' World Series of Poker and that real gamblers were so upset that there was a bounty on their Hollywood heads. Additionally, the story said the team had already played Miramax's Harvey and Bob Weinstein out of $1,200. I guess that's the per diem for a publicity trip to Vegas.

5. Not Jada-ed Yet: Will Smith just signed for a romantic comedy, but his co-star will be Whitney Houston, not his newly-christened wife, Jada Pinkett Smith. The project is called Anything for You and is about a guy who dumps his girlfriend and then has to jump through some serious hoops of her design to get her back. Maybe Jada's gonna be unavailable due to baby duty, but this one sounds like a perfect role for that particular 5-foot-tall sassy comedic actress, not for stiff songbird Whitney.

4. It's A Small Universe After All - A couple of weeks ago, it was Paramount going down under. Now, Universal is opening a movie theme shopping center in Beijing. Universal execs are hoping to add a theme park as soon as possible. Look for the Tiananmen Square Action Stunt Show, the Back to the Past movie ride and the fun of E.T., the Extremely Territorial, where they ask for your name as you enter the ride and by the time it's over, your entire family has been imprisoned.

3. Celine, Can You Hear Me?: Guess who's not going to be singing in public with Celine Dion again? The elusive Ms. Streisand, of course. This time it's the Oscars she's missing, thwarted by a bulging disc and bronchitis. It's beginning to look like we're going to have to wait for a tearful 2 a.m. meeting between the two divas on The Jerry Lewis Telethon if we ever want to see them work together.

2. Under Pressure: Robert Downey Jr. will serve an extra three days in the lock-up to make up for his bad-P.R.-for-the-judge days of out-of-jail/on-set duty last month. Downey definitely has a serious problem and earned his jail time, but this additional time is just a response to public pressure and is unfair. Downey will do four months in a residential rehab when he leaves the Los Angeles County Jail on April 1.

1. He'll Be Back: The Ahnuld is back after a self-imposed 18-month post-Batman & Robin hiatus. Well, kind of self-imposed. Universal refused to commit to his I Am Legend, a sci-fi flick with a budget more than $150 million, so now they've greenlit End of Days at a cost of only $100 million. (What a deal!) The film has the Big S. trying to keep the Bigger S. (Satan) from finding a bride in New York City. Arnold as Dr. Ruth! Gotta love it.

READERS OF THE DAY: Krillina says: "When I think of Chris Rock in Lethal Weapon 4, I think "It's that annoying guy from the 1-800-COLLECT commercials." If Rock wants people to think he's a hot commodity in Hollywood, he should leave 1-800-COLLECT to Phil Hartman and Ed O'Neill, kings of not impacting the box-office."

But, Matt B says: "If there is anything that would compel me to see Lethal Weapon 4 this side of a team of wild horses, it is Chris Rock. I would see him in anything. In fact, he sure would have livened up The English Patient.

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It's gonna be an interesting weekend for a change. John Travolta power should be able to overcome the "I'm bored with Clinton-esque scandals" attitude that ended up hurting Wag the Dog much more than helping it. I say it will win this weekend's primary by a few million.
But there will still be a fight for second between Titanic and The Man In The Iron Mask. I know that some of you are sick of me inferring monkey business with reported Titanic numbers, but the fact that I see some really questionable box office reportage doesn't mean that I'm slamming Titanic as a movie. And I haven't questioned the numbers since the fourth weekend of the film's release. This movie is a phenom. But, last weekend, Titanic's box office fluctuation that ended up in a reported tie was questionable, rising on Sunday. As I predicted, Titanic's "final figures" for the weekend mysteriously rose by $100,000, while Iron Mask numbers did what one normally expects, a $200,000 drop. Based on the those studio reports, Titanic won the weekend in the end by $300,000. What would be Paramount's motivation to fluff numbers? Last weekend's win set the record for most consecutive winning weekends, breaking a three-way tie at 12 weeks. This fluffing doesn't require a great conspiracy, We're talking about a 1 percent variation in the weekend numbers in order to insure a record that will forever be attached to this film. So far this week, Iron Mask is ahead of Titanic by $200,000 each weekday. That's a 12 percent lead. So it seems likely that Titanic will spend its first weekend out of first place, falling to third place. No great shame when you already have a billion in the bank.

The only other holdover capable of grossing more than $5 million this weekend is U.S. Marshals. I would estimate about a $7 million weekend. I think that should be just enough to beat out Wild Things, which should open on the strength of Denise Richards' breasts alone. I know it sounds sexist. (I'm doing a lot of apologizing today, huh?) But the movie is being sold on sex and the wide array of stories about what Neve Campbell keeps on and what Richards, Matt Dillon and Kevin Bacon take off should bring in at least $5 million in ticket sales. Jackie Chan is back, but New Line isn't doing a whole lot to make it a special occasion. I look for the film to land in seventh, behind Good Will Hunting and The Wedding Singer.

THE GOOD: Niagara Niagara is opening here in Los Angeles with a performance by Robin Tunney (from The Craft) as a Tourette Syndrome sufferer that is already making her a hot commodity before the film earns box office dollar one. You can't go. )&$#)(&@$. You can't go. #@(%&*(@#. You can't go far. *&$&*(#&$(&. in Los Angeles without *&$(*&#$. seeing her *&($&(#. (*&$(*#&$. *(&$(*&#$ face.

BOX OFFICE CONTEST: Pick this weekend's Top Five at the box office with the dollar amounts for each. Add new wide releases that you don't see in the Top Five as a tie-breaker. You have until Saturday at noon to get me your entries. Closest one to the actual numbers wins a prize. For real.

THE BAD: L.A. Confidential got all those Academy Award nominations, but still won't get close to the domestic box office dollars of fellow Best Picture nominees Good Will Hunting, As Good As It Gets or Titanic, and it won't be anywhere near the worldwide box office for The Full Monty.

THE UGLY: Hush looks like it's going to gross more domestically than Wings of the Dove.

TWO BAD MOVIES EQUAL: Mr. Nice Guy + Wild Things = Mr. Nice Thing. Kevin Bacon exposes himself over and over again and while the bad guys are checking out his package, he beats them senseless. And he never uses a stunt penis! The film includes nude scenes by Bacon, Matt Dillon, Jackie Chan and Tom Arnold as comic relief. The sequel Miss Nice Things has already been greenlit, with Denise Richards as the star. Miss You're Gonna Have To Pay Me A Lot More If You Want To See These, starring Neve Campbell, has been indefinitely shelved.

JUST WONDERING: Is Grease still the word?

BAD AD WATCH: I was driving along listening to the radio the other night when none other than Adam Carolla, the funny guy from "Loveline," was ragging on Ron Brewington of American Urban Radio Networks. Carolla called him "the anti-critic" and proclaimed that a positive review from Brewington was a sure sign of a movie worth avoiding. In my look through the papers, Ron was unusually under-represented this week, but he did earn the headline for one big film. "If you liked The Fugitive, you will love U.S. Marshals!" And if you love getting your teeth pulled, you'll love Chairman of the Board.

READER OF THE DAY: From Greg: "Let's say I missed yesterday's The Hot Button and would like to read it today... how can I do that? I can't find any way to get to past columns from the rough cut Web site!"

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Got to chat with Aaron Spelling yesterday. He offered up a couple of movie-related tips.
1. He has an hour-long pilot at NBC called "Odd Jobs" with Roger Avery, who won an Oscar for writing Pulp Fiction with Quentin Tarantino. Spelling says the humor is great.
2. I asked him what he thought of Claire Danes choosing to do the feature version of his series, "The Mod Squad."
"I'm thrilled, thrilled, thrilled. This girl, who I loved in Romeo and Juliet, is doing Mod Squad? I'm thrilled." What about the rest of the troubled teens turned cops? "The others are tough, especially in matching Claire's age. Captain Greer could be [played by] a star, but probably not the other two young people. But Claire Danes with a gun. I love it."
Spelling will be hands-on with the film. "I had a meeting with the writer and director Monday night at my house for two and a half hours, exchanging ideas." Will the film go camp or ultra-serious? Spelling wouldn't really say, but he closed with, "It's much more rambunctious than the original." What does that mean? He wasn't sure either, laughing, "Is rambunctious even a word?"

THE PAPER TRAIL: Christine Lahti hit just the right note at the Golden Globes when she was caught with her dress down in the ladies room when she was announced as a winner. But leave it to Kaopectate to take it a little too far. The company is sending Kaopectate Oscar Relief Baskets to all 20 of the acting nominees. Kaopectate's press release says they hope the baskets will give everyone a "solid performance" during the awards. Gross!

BACKLASH: One of the ongoing conversations in town is that Jack Nicholson and Jim Cameron could have knocked themselves out of their sure-bet Oscar wins with their performances at The Golden Globes. A lot of people seem to feel, including none other than insightful veteran William Goldman, that their smug attitudes that night could be as damaging as an iceberg. We'll see on Monday night.

STICKING UP FOR THE PREZ: It's nice to see Alec Baldwin taking the President's side against the media barrage over the current sex scandal in Washington. He's right. We should stay focused on real problems. Like cocaine overdoses and hotel rooms destroyed by the least successful member of a certain set of acting brothers. What was that name again?

NEXT!: On Tuesday, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit ruled that the ad campaign for I Know What You Did Last Summer was misleading because it referred to the film as "from the creator of Scream," which, for Sony, meant writer Kevin Williamson and for Miramax, the producers of Scream, meant director Wes Craven. My question is, "Who cares?! This is old news! Why are these idiots still spending money on lawyers?!" Hmmph!

CONTESTS, WE HAVE CONTESTS: OK, boys and girls. Here are two roads to cool stuff. One is the Oscar road. Click here to see all the Academy nominees and send me your picks by Monday afternoon. The winner gets his or her pick of ShoWest stuff. The other road is to send me your picks for this weekend's Top Five at the box office including the dollar amounts. You have until Saturday at noon to get me your entries. (By the way, the new films this weekend are The Newton Boys, Wild Things and Primary Colors.)

READER OF THE DAY: More harsh words from Denise: "As a Mel Gibson fan, I am making daily burnt offerings for Lethal Weapon 4. The production pace is scary, but I think it is their best hope to break their major losing streak. I can't stand those buffoon studio heads, Daly and Semel! What has happened to their decision-making process? I read that they were skeptical about using Chris Rock to help bring some youthfulness to the cast of LW4. I find that unbelievably idiotic! The presence of Chris will do nothing but help the film."

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I've been to the desert for a week with no sleep. It feels good to come back where it rains. (For those of you who aren't singing along to the tune of America's "Horse With No Name," try it, you'll like it.) Well, maybe not so good. After spending the week in Las Vegas at ShoWest you might expect that I am all show-bized out. But it's the opposite. For all the glitz, for all the selling, ShoWest is a show for real people. You hang out with people who own movie theaters, but most of them are every bit as star-struck as teenagers at a rock concert. You walk with them through the concession-laden trade show and, like Patty Duke, a hot dog makes them lose control. Offer up a T-shirt and a shortfall will turn into a mob scene. I know that I may sound like I'm mocking these folks, but quite the opposite. See, I had to come home.

It started at the ShoWest awards. Star after star ran through the press room because they had "to catch a plane." So L.A. Tom Arnold died with a "real" audience with material that would've received laughs in L.A. See, these folks weren't used to laughing on cue. Certain media outlets brought their L.A. attitudes with them to the press room. I'll give you a hint. They were TV people. But can I really blame them? After all, they had to get their segment with each star in the couple of minutes they had with them. No time to bother with perspective. They didn't really care about ShoWest or the exhibitors. They needed Oscar exclusives. And I guess that's where the disparity lays. In perspective. The wine doesn't taste as good if you don't let it breathe, but L.A. is all about getting drunk quickly, not enjoying the experience.

Maybe it's because we have too much to intoxicate us out here. I returned to three screenings at the same time on the same day. Obviously, I couldn't attend all three. I chose the one that was most important to my business needs. The news from Renny Harlin's birthday party was about how expensive the house was and who was there. (Kevin Costner says that Titanic will sweep, if you care about what "The Postman" thinks. Jim Carrey and Lauren Holly are back in love and acting like teens. And Renny still drinks like a Fin.) The Coffee Bean is still loaded to the gills with long-legged wannabes and the men who wanna be with them, at least for a few hours. Tuesday was St. Patricks Day and in L.A. the green flowed freely. Only here, it's the color of cash and envy. Welcome.

TOYS FOR YOU: Not only will there be a Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas T-shirt up for grabs in the box office competition this week, but we have to have an Oscar competition too, right? Get your e-mail warmed up. The contests and the rules in tomorrow's The Hot Button.

MORE SELF PROMOTION: Today is the day that rough cut's weekly page is updated. There's a brand new chapter of The Whole Picture and more coverage on NoShoWest.

READER OF THE DAY: From Erin P: "I haven't seen The Man in the Iron Mask yet, but Janet Maslin's review in the New York Times is one of the funniest things I've read in quite some time."

I was in Las Vegas when Maslin's review ran. Thanks to Erin, I've read it and I agree that it's very funny. One quote from Ms. Maslin: "When the mask comes off, the story's glowing young hero appears to have undergone a seaweed wrap at that exceptionally punishing spa, the Bastille. And he later delivers this self-help credo: `I wear the mask. It does not wear me.'"

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After a week in Vegas, my Hot Button has been pushed so many times that it's worn out. (Worse, there's almost no really interesting news out there to comment on.) So, while I regenerate my passions for tomorrow's rant, I'm turning the column over to you once again.

From Mary H: "I have a theory about the Titanic box office numbers. Without having seen Iron Mask, I would still hazard a guess that those going for the next 'Jack Dawson experience' are going to be left wanting, and, of course, the only cure for the Louis/Phillipe image is another dose of Jack. So, it's back to Titanic for one more viewing ('There, THAT'S better!'), and the numbers are once again bizarre and 'unbelievable.' Unless a bigger movie is coming next week, I predict that Mask will drop to No. 2, and Titanic will be back in the top spot next weekend."

From G Martin: "I look for John Travolta to have a strong spring. He has Primary Colors and the always cool re-release of Grease, so Hollywood, watch out! He's about to explode and knock Titanic out of the water."

From JOEY: Take One: "Quite a few of the diehard DiCaprio fans decided to do a 'DiCaprio Double Feature' kinda thing. At least two people I know did it, and it doesn't seem like an outlandish possibility to me."
Take Two: "I think that one of the big reasons that you didn't get a lotta e-mail last week was because humans are selfish and if they think that a response is unlikely, they (we) won't e-mail."
And Take Three: "Godzilla will be big (another "all style/no substance" flick from the overrated Devlin/Emmerich team), but no Titanic. The only movie that may come close to beating out Titanic will be Star Wars: Episode One."

From Steve Chien-Wei Weng: "Subject: Nightmares on Oscar Night: 1.Jack Lemmon wins another Oscar, because the winner insists so.
2.Robert DeNiro is arrested by police again because the attorney needs him as a witness in the White House scandal.
3. Christian Slater arrives just after being released from jail, so he doesn't get the Leonardo punchlines.
4.Leonardo shows up, has nothing to do but sit there and cause fans to yell his name.
5. Sharon Stone shows up with her new husband to find out that half of the other men there used to be her boyfriends. The other half of the men are lined up to chat with Madonna. And Madonna's desperately seeking Leonardo and Leo is sitting in Demi Moore's lap.
6. Barbra goes to the powder room again when Celine sings.

From Akiko: "I have worked with DiCaprio on a film before, and guess what? He is much more than a teen idol; he really has talent. Whether these films recognize it, or even show it, is another question. He is not just a pretty face. He knows what he is doing."

From Martin C: The Man In The Iron Mask was terrible. John Malkovich did his usual performance, which means that he screamed and gritted his teeth. That's what he calls acting. Leonardo Dicaprio was struggling to act. There is a scene where Leo's playing Philippe, looking out the window at the moon, and it looks like he's trying to cry. I can see him thinking about something sad to make himself cry, and he doesn't even succeed. But the acting wasn't the biggest problem with this film, the script was. The big secrets of the plot are not secret, and anyone with half a brain cell can, and will, figure them out in the first 10 minutes, except for the guy sitting right in front of me, who thought he was a genius when he figured it out."

From Ryan J: "I'm a loyal fan and supporter of Leonardo DiCaprio. And I thought The Man in the Iron Mask was good. It wasn't great, but it wasn't embarrassingly awful. What I thought was interesting was that Leo really isn't the star attraction, it's the musketeers. It's thanks to Titanic that the media is pushing it as Leo's film, and it's not. He made it long before anyone could have seen how successful Titanic was going to be. Therefore, I don't consider this his follow-up by any means. His true follow-up -- and the one the media should have reserved all its rabid scrutiny for -- is the one he chooses to make post-Titanic. The one he chooses from his endless stream of unsolicited scripts. The one he could command up to $20 million for. That's the one where he really has to prove he's worth it."
READER OF THE DAY: I guess that's me. Thanks for all the great mail on Monday. And Happy St. Patrick's Day to those of you who celebrate the holiday. And for those who don't, watch out for green puddles.

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A tie. That's what the studios reported on Sunday, estimating that both of Leonardo DiCaprio's starrers, Titanic and The Man in the Iron Mask, both made exactly $17.5 million. They didn't. Who actually won the race should be sorted out by this afternoon. But keep this in mind. In order to hit the $17.5 million mark, Titanic had to have dropped less than one percent (about $100,000) after dropping over eight percent each of the last few weeks. Additionally, Titanic dropped over $100,000 on Saturday alone, meaning that the Friday and Sunday numbers would have had to have been up. Unlikely. Also at stake is Titanic's claim to the record for most consecutive weekends at Number One. If it wins this weekend, it gets the nod. That may be reason enough to tap dance around the truth a little. I know that some of you want proof when I suggest that fudging numbers could be taking place, but no one really knows but the studio bookkeepers.

In other box office news, U.S. Marshals dropped just 31 percent. Much better than I expected. The rest of the Top Ten was pretty much the same, with a few slot changes, including Good Will Hunting, which maintained much stronger legs than the newer product to gain three slots and fourth place.

THE GOOD: The Wedding Singer passed the $60 million mark on its way to about $75 million domestic. And so far, every person that's mentioned the film to me has liked it a lot. "Sweet," they say. Just what we need more of these days.

THE BAD: Had The Man In The Iron Mask managed the expected $20 million-plus instead of $17.5 million, there would have been no doubt who won this weekend. It's hard to say that $17.5 million is a disappointment, but even if the Masked Man beats the Big Boat, the LeoManiacs didn't come out in the expected droves.

THE UGLY: Chairman of the Board opened this weekend and no one seemed to notice. No sight of Carrot Top in the Top Ten, which is good, since his presence would signal the coming of the apocalypse.

TWO BAD MOVIES EQUAL: The Man in the Iron Mask + The Big Lebowski = The Man In The Big Iron Lebowski. In a Polish twist on being in a pickle, Jeff Bridges stars as one of the best actors of his generation who keeps getting stuck in huge leaden movies that can't lift off the box office launchpad. The film is a prequel to the Dennis Quaid-starrer, The Man In The Big Iron Smirk.

JUST WONDERING: Why did so many of you decide not to write me last week? Was it because you knew I was away or didn't you care about ShoWest?

BAD AD WATCH: Sony had a good week in Las Vegas last week, but Wild Things is struggling out of the gate with "Sexy Sizzler" reviews from three small-market TV types (Mike Cidoni, credited as from ABC-TV; Dennis Willis from KGO-TV; Craig Kopp from WCPO-TV) and Tracie Sheppard from E.T. Online.

RETURN OF THE BOX OFFICE CONTEST: Starting this weekend, I'll be giving away cool stuff from ShoWest for the person who can best guess each weekend's box office outcome. In honor of my last week in the desert, this week's prize will be a T-shirt from the upcoming Johnny Depp movie, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Rules will turn up later this week.

SHOWEST EXTRA: Besides kicking preview butt, Godzilla's ShoWest also offered up a look at the movie's theater standee, which not only offers up a flashing Godzilla eyeball, but a first-ever standee rain storm. Keep an eye out (no pun intended) for it. And if, for some reason, you still need to catch up on ShoWest, watch for Wednesday's cover story and check out the daily columns. The weekend's wrap-up has links to the entire week of coverage.

READER OF THE DAY: From Denise G: "I would like to go out on a limb to predict that everyone is going to be stunned when The Man In The Iron Mask does smelly business at the box office. It so obviously sucks that I won't even go see it despite the presence of the smoldering, sexy Gabriel Byrne! Only the most diehard Leo teenybopper fans will attend, and I doubt if that will add up to the $20 million that you are forecasting. My estimate is a modest $8-12 million."

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It's over. By about 10:30 Thursday night, all the screenings had been screened, all the candy had been sold and all the questions had been answered. Well, not all the questions. If you've been reading the ShoWest coverage all week, you'll already know that only one of the five major studios made an appearance this year. That would be (sfx: Godzilla roar) Sony. Of the four mini-majors who sponsored events, DreamWorks did best, but left a bunch of questions in the air. (A note: Apologies for my forgetfulness about a DreamWorks project called Antz, starring the voice of Woody Allen and Sharon Stone. It looked terrific and exhibitors are looking forward to getting the film next spring.) And in the end, there was a lot of talk about the future of ShoWest itself. But as one insider told me, the show changes with the industry and ShoWest '98 reflects where the majors are as we move into this summer. Disney was the only other major with serious summer heat and their plans were stopped in their tracks by the preparations to demolish the regular off-site location of the studio's semi-annual supershow.

The ShoWest Awards reflected the same jittery reality. There were big stars, including Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Susan Sarandon, Richard Dreyfuss, Burt Reynolds, Matt Damon, Minnie Driver and Helen Hunt. There were big directors and writers like Barry Levinson, Barry Sonnenfeld, Ron Bass and Gary Ross (the Big screenwriter who scored big with the sneak look at his directing debut, Pleasantville). And in an Oscar snub turn-around, ShoWest got Djimon Hunsou, but not Anthony Hopkins, who was satellited in from a set somewhere. (Djimon graciously turned away any speculation about race playing a part in his Oscar snub. Great guy.)

But none of that could make up for Tom Arnold. He hosted the award show, which TNT (our parent company) didn't televise this year. (That too was the source of more speculation. Did TNT pass because they chose to do the SAG Awards or did they just decide that ShoWest did nothing for the network? Hmmmm. Even RCTV didn't show up to grab celeb interviews like "E.T.," E! and so many others.) I'm trying to come up with the best words to describe his performance as host, but "sucked" seems too subtle and "disastrous" may be a little too El Nino-esque a description.
Let's just say that in a room of 3,000 people, about six were laughing with him, 50 were laughing at him and the rest were in a state of stunned silence. It wasn't just the stupid and offensive material either. It was the classic Tom Arnold delivery. Dustin Hoffman went on for a long time telling a story about passing wind on the set of Rain Man (This was a complimentary story about Barry Levinson), but he got laughs. Not Tom. (Actually, there was a windy theme at ShoWest this year. Leslie Neilsen went with the whoopie cushion for his entrance at the Sony event.)

For the press, this year's show was a disappointment, too. While Djimon, Burt, Minnie and Joan Allen stopped to talk to reporters, the rest of the stars zoomed through the photo line and ran past reporters. Julia Roberts didn't even do that, but she got a pass after she explained in her acceptance speech that she was working under a cloud of Midol and Alka-Seltzer. Damon, one of the runners, got no such pass. In fact, he was the talk off the press after dissing us by running by us twice in one day. He did apparently do a few private interviews, but he's starting to develop the kind of press-shy/press-contemptuous attitude that can turn a career to dung after just one bad movie. Instead of having media friendlies wanting to help you through the tough times, actors who pull this crap tend to get buried, often for no reason other than their press attitude. Everyone wants him on their cover now, but this is just the beginning of what he hopes will be a long career. Talk to Patrick Dempsey about that, Matt.

Coca-Cola sponsored the nice post-Awards dinner, complete with filet mignon and large shrimp. But the only premium items were 20 ounce bottles of soda. I didn't take any home. But I did emasculate my table's centerpiece by taking the very cleverly made Coke-bottle torch, which is basically a 10-ounce bottle on a flashlight. The light led the way to the bar, where some journalist colleagues and I drank to old and new friends and said goodbye until next year. And that's really what ShoWest is about. Getting together and talking about last year and the year to come. Let's hope that next year is a better year for all the studios and for ShoWest 1999. I'll be there for sure.

More ShoWest: If you've missed any of the previous week of ShoWest reporting, click Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Friday for the rest of the daily coverage. And check out the ShoWest feature that will run next Wednesday.

Back To Normal: Next week, The Hot Button goes back to the regular schedule. Monday will be the Weekend Review, Tuesday and Thursday are news days, Wednesday is Ranting and Raving day, Friday is Weekend Preview and the Weekender is News By The Numbers, the top 10 stories of the week.

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Once again, I am writing in the middle of the day. This morning there was supposed to be a press conference by 20th Century Fox, which is not otherwise participating at ShoWest this year. The rumor was that it would either be Warren Beatty selling this summer's long-delayed Bulworth, or the official announcement that Fox has secured the distribution rights to Star Wars: Chapter One. It was neither, because it was canceled at the very last minute. Was it wacky Warren deciding he didn't feel like facing the press, or a legal snare in the Star Wars deal? I don't know. But that was the irritating start of my day.

An hour or so later, it was the line-up for the Miramax luncheon. No press conference, just a press row, which always makes life hard for print journalists. TV folks can ask the stupidest questions to air in the smallest countries, but if they have a video rig, they are more valued than we, ink- stained wretches. The line-up was Matt Damon, Minnie Driver and the cast of 54, the studio's film about the very real, ultra-hip Studio 54 of the '70s (newly re-opened). Matt and Minnie were actually separated by the 54 cast, with Matt leading and Minnie taking up the tail end. But in some form of revenge, Minnie got off the best line of the day when asked about whether she would miss all the press attention when the Oscar buzz calmed. She said, "Oh yes. But I'll be looking for all of you huddled out by my garbage cans." The only insight from "I'm not talking to the press"-Matt came when he was asked how he felt about the upcoming night at the Academy. "I don't know," he said with a multi-million dollar grin. The man is a genius!

Miramax's product reel featured a new Matt Damon movie that has our boy Matt as a genius card player who gets in with the wrong crowd. It wasn't called "Good Will Gambling," but it should have been. 54 looks like it caught the feel of the era. It stars Ryan Phillipe (I Know What You Did Last Summer), Neve Campbell (Scream), Salma Hayek (she is so gorgeous) and Mike Meyers as a very funny Steve Rubell. Lots of nudity, drugs and homosexuality in the footage they showed. In a Mike Myers movie! I'm looking forward to the 54/The Last Days of Disco double feature. Also up was Nightwatch, the Ewan McGregor thriller that was promoted at last year's ShoWest. They must be holding it up because it's really, really good (tee-hee). Plus, we got the word (there's no footage yet) on Scream 3 and the next Halloween sequel, H2O. Miramax's copy promised that "blood is much thicker than water." The writing in the movie had better top that or there'll be trouble. One small bit of news is that Jamie Lee Curtis' mother, Janet "Psycho" Leigh, will be joining her daughter in this one. Also, Killing Mrs. Tingle is now known as "The Kevin Williamson/Robert Rodriquez Project." Can't wait to get the album.

Now, a quick word on the DreamWorks event. Cool. The product reel was made up of Paulie (a Babe-like film about a talking bird who really says what he thinks), Small Soldiers (a Joe Dante film that kind of combines Toy Story and Gremlins as toy soldiers get a computer chip that was meant for real war. Explosions ensue.), Steven Spielberg's WWII drama, Saving Private Ryan (almost no footage here, but the "saving" is an attempt to keep Ryan (Damon), alive after three of his brothers have been killed in the war already), Neil Jordan's In Dreams (a psychological thriller with a creepy Robert Downey Jr., invading Annette Bening's dream world), and the animated bible flick, The Prince of Egypt.
The lowdown is that everyone expects Spielberg to make a good movie, but without footage, Pvt. Ryan was a non-issue. Paulie got some smiles and some groans. In Dreams wasn't a big hit as a preview, but it could be a great movie. Prince of Egypt was impressive and beautiful, but theater owners I talked to still wondered if audiences would sit down to an animated drama. And the smash hit was Small Soldiers, which looks like a big fat money machine. Lots of merchandising and incredibly clever. And best of all, if the dialogue is flat, it can be redone without reshoots. So, while Prince was all the buzz going in, Small Soldiers had the king as we exited.

The DreamWorks party that I've been raving about was an open house at Spielberg's GameWorks, the ultra-up-to-date, ultra-cool video game haven that will soon turn up in a city near you. Everything was open and everything was free. Alcohol, fried foods, women in short skirts, and all the video games you could play. An 8-year-old boy's dream. And if you looked at the faces of most of the men, you could see that the dream had come true. More on this, including photos, in next week's ShoWest feature.

Tomorrow, the ShoWest Awards and a wrap up on the week in Vegas. Or go back in time and read Day One, Day Two or Day Three.

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The biggest news of Day Three was that there was almost no news at all. For years, Warner Bros. has thrown the Wednesday luncheon event, proclaiming, "Wednesday is Warner Day!" Not this year. Between Batman and Robin, Mad City and the underperforming L.A. Confidential and Conspiracy Theory, Warner Bros. had little to crow about. And their only big film currently in production, Lethal Weapon 4, is in such a production rush to meet the summer release date, the stars probably couldn't afford to spend even four hours in Vegas doing promotion. But Warner did end up with some representation on Day Three. After no studio came forward to sponsor an evening event for the day, Warner Bros. coughed up prints of a dozen Warner classics (Goodfellas being the only one from the last decade) for event-goers to enjoy on the big screen. But the evening spawned a running joke that took a page from yesterday's Sony event, which had a theme of "what are you gonna give us this year?" The joke was, of course, that Warner would be giving us a bunch of old movies in 1998, since they had nothing better. Ouch.

New Line did take up the lunchtime slack, but the event was a slacker, even by New Line standards. The studio, which I think had a magnificent 1997, has become a bit of a ShoWest joke. Why? Their food. One year, conventioneers found bread sitting on their tables when they entered the massive ballroom (2,500 minimum are served in the main room every meal). So, people ate the bread. When the cold cuts that were meant to join the bread in sandwiches arrived, there was no bread left. Last year, the studio tried to be clever and promote the time-shift comedy Austin Powers with '50s-style lunch trays. But the reproduction was a little too accurate. More than one ShoWester was heard asking waitresses, "What is that?!" It was turkey with a yellow sauce. I can't tell you whether it tasted good because I fed mine to the cat. In any case, this year there was a very nice salmon lunch. But New Line wasn't adding to their ShoWest budget. We got the fish, but we got no New Line souvenirs of any kind. Not even a Lost in Space key ring. And believe me, the people who come here, no matter how much money they have, want their key rings (or clocks, studio bags, T-shirts, mugs or baseball caps). Even worse, the parade of New Line stars was fairly weak. And none of them did anything but march onto the dais and sit down to lunch. Not a speech in the group. Not smart.

The product reel was a mixed bag. New Line is clearly devolving (or re- evolving, if you like) to their original vision as independent-minded filmmakers. If you don't know, the studio started chasing higher budget scripts and film projects when Ted Turner bought the company. Since we became part of the Time/Warner family, New Line has been working overtime, with Ted's blessings, to go independent again. As a result, the last of these Turner-era tentpoles is Lost In Space, with no other blockbusters in sight. The product reel for the rest of '98 marked a return to genre films, many of them directed at black audiences, and art product from offspring, Fine Line Features.
The most promising films were: Rush Hour (the action comedy pairing of Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan), American History X (a drama about a family dealing with a history of bigotry and hate). Living Out Loud (a Holly Hunter film about a woman who finds herself after a difficult divorce). But best of all was Pleasantville, a comedy about a couple of 1990s kids who get sucked into the black and white world of a '50s sitcom. Very clever, very funny and very heartwarming. (I'm an old softy, huh?) Blade looks like it may be OK, but the buzz hasn't been great.

Woo is Jada Pinkett Smith's first solo lead in a major film and was terrific in the footage, but it was hard to tell whether it's a one-note film from the little we saw. The Players Club, from director/writer/star Ice Cube, looks like it could be good, but it could just be brutality and sex. And Pecker, the new John Waters comedy, went without footage. A personal disappointment.

Tomorrow, it's Miramax and the ShoWest Awards. If you've missed the last couple days, check out Day One and Day Two .

P.S. More about DreamWorks' event in Saturday's wrap-up and in next week's feature. I'll leave you with this. It was the best ShoWest party I've ever attended.

P.S.S. More on Godzilla. (Warning: Stop reading now if you don't want to know what Godzilla looks like) I saw Godzilla today. He's got three rows of sharp fins running down his back with blue highlights, much like the colors on some dinosaurs. Like a crocodile, his belly is a lighter shade of his overall skin tone. And he has the arms that Tyrannosaurus Rex wishes he had. More later.

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Well, it's been an exciting day and it's only half over. Things started out with Jack Valenti proclaiming, amongst many other things, that you, the people who see more than six movies a year (six is the average), are the very people that drive the domestic movie business these days, the key to annual increases in overall box office and number of tickets sold. But more on Jack will have to wait for my ShoWest feature, which will run next week.

Also on hold will be my analysis of the surprisingly strong Sony reel of 1998 product. After seeing the new campaign for The Mask of Zorro, I now believe that it can be a mega-hit. That is, if the whole movie is as intense as the reconceived trailer from Sony that puts the heart ahead of the sword. Sony's attempt to bring back the musical, Dance With Me, could catch on with a sexy cast and a soundtrack that is likely to be a major crossover hit. Ian McKellan's performance in Apt Pupil looks to be every bit as powerful as touts on the Ain't It Cool Web site have made it out to be. And, a still unnamed dramatic comedy from Mrs. Doubtfire writer/director, Chris Columbus, looks like a sure bet to grab 1998 Oscar nods for Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts. But, wait! I'm getting distracted. I'll cover all this in depth next week. There's another movie that I'm anxious to tell you about.

Godzilla.

Sony rolled out about 10 minutes of the film for the very first time in public. We saw his three-toed feet, his lanky lizard-like legs and his tyrannosaurus-like snout. But not the whole face or the whole body. The Big G stayed out of view as he moved between the buildings of Manhattan. And, it turns out, that's the concept of this film. A scientist with a background in genetic anomalies caused by radiation, Matthew Broderick, rambles on about a 17 percent increase in size in creatures he discovered in Chernobyl, not noticing that he is explaining this while standing in a half-block long footprint. In Manhattan, the ground mysteriously shakes so hard that taxis bounce six inches of the ground with each thump. Cameraman Hank Azaria and fabulous babe, Maria Pitillo, go slack-jawed when Godzilla happens by. Azaria grabs his video camera, makes his move and ends up in a direct confrontation with Big Green's foot. I won't tell you what happens here, but it's a great moment for the audience. New York is evacuated. Then Broderick, who is now trailing the monster, figures it out. Godzilla loves Manhattan because the buildings are so tall that he can hide there. He, Azaria, Pitillo and others head back onto the island to handle their little lizard problem. Kind of like a bigger, badder Jurassic Park. Explosions ensue.

On the down side, there is no White House-blowing-up money shot. Madison Square Garden is toast, but it's not the same. And even after 10 minutes, you begin to realize that the whole Godzilla thing is kind of one-joke. But the writing by producer Dean Devlin and director Roland Emmerich keep things fun. Much like Larry Kasdan in his work with George Lucas (The Empire Strikes Back and Raiders of the Lost Ark), these guys understand what real people would say and think in the worst of circumstances, which always makes the audience laugh.

Just a quick note on the lead-in to the product reel. Ben Stein, who played Ferris Bueller's teacher, chides Matthew Broderick by saying, "You've been on my case for 15 years!" And Sony took the opportunity to smack the other majors, who are not at ShoWest this year, with a promise to "beat the crap out of Fox ... give Minnie and Mickey the bone ... (and) make much more money than Sumner," referring to Sumner Redstone over at Viacom, which owns Paramount. The jibes may have been a bit too hip for this room, but they were funny. Especially coming out of the mouths of Leslie Neilsen and Robert Goulet. But you'll have to wait to hear more about them next week. Oh yeah. Vanna White hosted. (I'm such a tease.)

Until tomorrow,
David

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ShoWest is a bit of a mixed bag for we Americans, on Day One. The entire day is focused on the international movie business. Domestic types are not invited, though my Amsterdam-based buddy Frank did attend and got a lovely watch from Disney for his efforts. More than they wanted to give Jeffrey Katzenberg and a whole lot less than it cost them to settle with him. (By the way, Katzenberg, the "K" in DreamWorks SKG, is hosting an event tomorrow night.)

The evening activity was a double feature of independent films. Attendees got their choice of two of four, including The Mighty, starring Sharon Stone, One Tough Cop, starring Stephen Baldwin, The Opposite of Sex, centered around a blonde Christina Ricci, and big-name-free Under Heaven. The only star who showed was Stephen Baldwin, who didn't look too happy about the vast number of people who failed to recognize him. Sharon Stone should make up for absence with an appearance at the Miramax event on Thursday. I wish I could tell you I liked or hated any of them, but I missed the first screening after having to change my room twice at the New York, New York Hotel & Casino and when I got to the cocktail party in between, pallid descriptions of all four films helped me make up my mind to run out for dinner instead of subjecting myself to a mediocre movie and a midnight dinner. I have to be up for an 8 A.M. breakfast with Jack Valenti and a room full of other reporters to talk about the state of the industry. At 11:30, Sony goes Godzilla, and in the evening, its DreamWorks. The trade show also starts tomorrow and I'll be gathering lots of cool junk that Andy Jones will be writing about in weeks to come.

But even before Sony starts its event, it's made an impact with another smart visual display. You may remember hearing about the traffic-stopping Godzilla sign on New York's Flatiron Building. Well, here it's Bally's that gets the Godzilla treatment. A five foot wide sliver of the building is green from top to bottom, painted with "He's as tall as Bally's," with a Godzilla logo. Then, on the convention center directly next door, a five foot slab that runs from one end of the building to the other proclaims "His tail is longer than this building." Standing on the sidewalk and looking at both signs at the same time, you can almost see the mammoth monster in your mind. You certainly understand that there is no way to escape his wrath. Very cool.

The buzz of the convention is the lack of the major studios. Warner Bros., who comes every year, passed this time. Nothing good to talk about, I guess. (I know.) Paramount and Fox couldn't have foreseen the glow of Titanic back when they would have had to commit, so better safe than sorry, I suppose. And Universal doesn't have a really big summer movie. Disney does (Armageddon and Mulan), but they couldn't book the venue they wanted for their event. That's disappointing, because Disney always puts on the best show. That leaves Sony, who I'm sure will tell us all about that fact tomorrow when they crow about the year of Men In Black (at least it was pre-Titanic) and the year of Godzilla by which we are about to be overwhelmed.

Until tomorrow,
David

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So, you want to know how Titanic survived the release of U.S. Marshals into every outhouse, doghouse, cathouse, rathouse and movie house this weekend? On Friday, U.S. Marshals actually beat Titanic by almost 20 percent, $5.1 million to $4.3 million. But by Saturday, bad buzz was catching up with Sam Gerard & Co. and they only went up about 50 percent when most films roughly double their take from Friday to Saturday. Titanic hit $8.3 million to U.S. Marshals' $7.2 million. It got worse on Sunday with The Fugitive sequel dropping below Friday numbers ($4.8 million) while Titanic was about 30 percent above Friday ($5.4 million). What does this mean in the long run? Next week, The Man In The Iron Mask, a movie that no one has a good word for, will open over $20 million giving Leo the 1-2 split (with Titanic in the 2 slot, dropping about 15 percent to $15.3 million). U.S. Marshals looks like a 60 percent dropper, which is not good, but will still keep it in third place with about $8.5 million.

The poorly reviewed thrillers, Hush and Twilight, managed to tie for fourth place with $6 million each. It's pretty hard to say whether that figure is a pleasant or unpleasant surprise. Neither film is likely to pass the $20 million mark in domestic box office, yet both were kind of dumped into theaters with minimal expectations, so what could their studios have expected? But, I am quite sure that PolyGram is deeply disappointed that the new film from the Coen brothers, The Big Lebowski, couldn't muster more than $5.9 million for a sixth place finish.

THE GOOD: Titanic became the first film ever to pass $1 billion worldwide this weekend. And Jim Cameron won the Directors Guild Award, an award I feel he absolutely deserves. Among his comments: "I make movies for myself and I think of myself as the truck driver-audience member that I used to be. I'm making movies for that person, and if the critical acclaim comes it's a bonus for me." Cool.

THE BAD: Dark City dropped more than 50 percent in just its second week. This movie is far from perfect, but people are going to find it on cable and wish they had seen it on a big screen.

THE UGLY: The Boston reviews of Quentin Tarantino's stage debut in "Wait Until Dark" opposite fellow film refugee Marisa Tomei were really special. From Ed Siegel of The Boston Globe): "As the creepy psycho killer in this play, Tarantino packs about as much menace as Dennis, delivering his lines with a straightforward recitation in which his hands do more acting than any other part of his body." He's a little nicer to Marisa: "The only person to survive the charisma bypass operation performed on 'Wait Until Dark' by director Leonard Foglia is Marisa Tomei, and she, only by the skin-tightness of her jeans rather than her considerable acting talent, which she displays only in flashes in this production." Well, maybe not. "When Tomei smiles, she looks more like she's high than blind." That said, the show has a remarkable $1.65 million in ticket pre-sales in New York. That's more than 25 times as Jackie Brown did this weekend.

TWO BAD MOVIES EQUAL...: Hush + Twilight = Burn Career Burn. Paul Newman investigates why big-time actors Jessica Lange and Gwyneth Paltrow would subject themselves to doing a thriller with a first-time feature writer/director.

JUST WONDERING: Were you hoping, like me, that the SAG Awards would give you a hint about some of the tight Oscar races, especially the neck-and-neck contest between Kim Basinger and Gloria Stuart for Best Supporting Actress? No luck there. The two actresses tied for the award.

BAD AD WATCH: Love this one. Wide Awake, the Rosie O'Donnell comedy that is still weeks from opening, is offering glowing reviews from Jeff Craig of Sixty Second Preview (one of our faves) and Mike Lyons of the Long Island Parenting News. Yes. Long Island Parenting News. Oh, the humanity!

READER OF THE DAY: From Harris I: "Movies have always been those experiences that balance between illusion and reality. The best of them allow the viewer to enter that world portrayed, for better and worse."

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10. Seagal Gets The Joke: Steven Seagal has finally shown he can see himself through our eyes by casting himself as the 12th century Mongol Genghis Khan. He claims that the project will be a $40 million epic, but like his stomach, his ambition may be bigger than it appears on screen.

9. Movin' On Up: F. Gary Gray continues to break ground for black filmmakers. Should this be news? No. But it is. After completing The Negotiator, the first film ever by a black director budgeted at more than $40 million, Gray will take on the sequel to The Nutty Professor, which is sure to weigh in at over $80 million. This is a big step toward making this kind of story a non-story.

8. Dead/Alive: J.T. Walsh passed away last week, but the show must go on and it will for Millennium Films' Outside Ozona. Walsh's untimely passing left an empty role and it's being filled, in an incredible irony, by fellow "Unknown Soldier" Robert Forster, whose career was dead but came back to life this year with his Academy Award-nominated performance in Jackie Brown. (For more on Walsh and other "Unknown Soldiers," check out The Whole Picture).

7. Another Shade Of Walt: Walt Disney Pictures bought a pitch called Mad Mojo last week with an eye toward making it a summer action tentpole. It's the story of a 2,000-year-old voodoo spirit that wreaks comic havoc in the present. But that's not the important story. This is Disney's first film to be centered around a black family. Welcome to the '90s, guys. And keep an eye out for the voodoo spirit of Uncle Walt if he gets the trades on the other side.

6. Some Down Under Synergy: Paramount is finally going in to the studio theme park business. In Melbourne, Australia. After watching rival studios Disney, Warner Bros. (Six Flags) and Universal generate billions of dollars and untold good karma with their movie-oriented theme parks, Paramount will invest more than $100 million in the park/studio facility in what could be their first step toward opening studio parks in the U.S. Meanwhile, across the country in Sydney, Fox is also opening their first theme park/studio tour. The only theme park-free studio left? Sony. They could open a successful park with Men In Black and Godzilla alone.

5. Market, Schmarket: The American Film Festival laid a rotten egg this year. Word from some of the low-budget producers whose exploitation flicks usually dominate this market is that no one was buying the junk anymore. The few deals that were made were for pictures of $10 million or more. Brings a tear to the eye, huh? What will HBO run at 2 a.m.?

4. Stalkers Need Not Apply: Jonathan Norman was found guilty of stalking Steven Spielberg this week. Apparently, Norman thought that kidnapping and raping Spielberg would be a good way to get an acting gig. Wrong. He'll be "auditioning" in a state prison for 25 to life.

3. Downey And In: The in-and-out saga of Robert Downey, Jr., continues. After spending three days "off campus" working on DreamWorks' thriller, In Dreams (a.k.a. Blue Vision) and doing press for U.S. Marshals, the Los Angeles County Sheriff contested the judge's ruling to let Jr. continue his movie career while behind bars, and won. No more outings for now. I was hoping to catch Downey and his crew of cops in Las Vegas at DreamWorks' ShoWest event next Tuesday, but he'll have to get his fill of gambling, drugs, sex and violence in the jail yard.

2. Pulp Friction: That Oscar-winning couple, Mira Sorvino and Quentin Tarantino, have officially broken up. We know because their publicists told us so.

1. The Immaculate Ms. Foster: Jodie Foster is pregnant. We know because Liz Smith told us so. Jodie confirmed. Foster told Liz, "I'm not going to discuss the father, the method, or anything of that nature." I certainly don't know how it happened, and there's no boyfriend to ask, but how's this for a coincidence? Thanksgiving was exactly 100 days ago.

READER OF THE DAY: From Erik T: "Tell me: How in heck can I smuggle my way into the ShoWest convention and act like a theater owner? Do they need volunteers? How about press? I have an old press pass from my college newspaper. Would that work?"

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This weekend could be the ugliest yet of the new year. Titanic is likely to lead the pack yet again with about $17 million because the reviews of U.S. Marshals are incredibly bad. It's a big movie with a couple of big stars, but then again, so was Sphere and that barely opened. Personally, I think that Hush could rise up and take U.S. Marshals by surprise in the race for second spot. Hush just seems to me like a sleeper after months without a good thriller. We'll see. The Big Lebowski seems like a sure bet to generate at least $10 million from Coen Brothers freaks (like me) alone, which should put it in the top four for sure. And Twilight, which hits a relatively limited number of screens, could be the $2.5 million embarrassment of the weekend. Or worse, all four new releases could take a dive, much like last weekend, except that this weekend, you're looking at $150 million worth of product that could be hitting the wall in its first week out. Ouch.

THE GOOD: We should be able to say goodbye to Senseless and Krippendorf's Tribe after this weekend.

THE BAD: Both will turn up on video.

THE UGLY: Nothing really ugly this weekend (and as you can tell from the above, not much good or bad either). In the dictionary under the word mediocre, there is a link to this weekend. I suggest that you go to the Oscar contenders that you haven't seen yet and get ready for The Man In The Iron Mask, which hits theaters next weekend.

TWO BAD MOVIES EQUAL: Kissing A Fool + The Replacement Killers = Kissing A Killer. After being rebuffed by moviegoers, David Schwimmer goes back to the "Friends" set and mows down the entire cast with a machine gun after Rachel refuses to marry him. (She saw his movie.) The cast is replaced next season by the kids from "Dawson's Creek."

JUST WONDERING: Would anyone actually notice if My Giant went right to video?

BAD AD WATCH: I know that Harry Knowles is excited, but could there be any less valuable a critic than the pseudonymous Agent Apple Crisp, whose review is now quoted by Disney in ads for Burn Hollywood Burn? Perhaps. I am saddened that Twilight, a film loaded with incredibly talented people, has to stoop to quoting KMSB-TV, Rolling Stone, Sixty Second Preview, the L.A. Times Syndicate (not the paper), Larry King, KPRC-TV and non-network-level reviews attributed to Fox and NBC.

READER OF THE DAY: From RyanBP: "U.S. Marshals is going to BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB. First of all, if you look at the commercials, replace Wesley Snipes with Harrison Ford and you have the trailer to the Fugitive. The producers are doing nothing to distinguish the two films and not much to link the two of them. Said to be "From the producers of The Fugitive," then touted as being the remake it will probably end up being. I always liked Tommy Lee Jones and Wesley Snipes and wish them the best, but for the future of this film, it looks pretty dim."

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Today's column is for adults, teenagers and precocious pre-adolescents. Parental Guidance is suggested for parents who can't deal with sex.
THE WHOLE LAWSUIT: The plagiarism lawsuit over The Full Monty seems to be as inappropriate as the one recently settled by DreamWorks over Amistad in which Barbara Chase-Riboud unsuccessfully claimed legal rights to history. The plaintiffs du jour, playwrights Anthony McCarten and Stephen Sinclair, claim the rights to the idea of out-of-work Brits who end up baring it all, saying it was stolen from their play, "Ladies Night." One problem. In addition to the plaintiffs' play, there were TV projects by the BBC and Granada TV in development along the same lines when The Full Monty went into production. The specific matching points the writers claim infringed on their work? One black character, one ambiguously gay character and one character with impotence and a failing marriage. I went out to dinner last night and those three guys were sitting at the next table. Fortunately, they left their hats and the rest of their clothes on.

THE FULLER MONTY: It's hard for Hollywood to remake a successful English-language film, but America had its own male strippers long before the Brits. Men In Black director Barry Sonnenfeld has signed on to direct the life story of Steve Banerjee, the man who created Chippendales. The studio, Disney, is calling the story "the Casino of the male dancing industry" (Wasn't Casino the 'Sunset Boulevard' of the Las Vegas bimbo industry?). But Sonnenfeld has too much of a sense of humor to play it that straight, laughing "I love the idea of doing Chippendales at Disney." Can't wait to see his version of the seven dwarves.

MORE THAN A SCENT OF HEATHER: Come on you Heather Graham fans, stand up and clap your hands: she's made it above the title for the first time as the star of Committed, a comic road trip romp that's expected to end up at Miramax. The actress, who has become one of teen America's favorite obsessions since baring it all, rather impressively, in Boogie Nights, is up next in Lost In Space, then gets serviced on screen next month by Robert Downey Jr. in a way that is driving the MPAA nuts in Two Girls and A Guy, and is about to start shooting Bofinger's Big Thing, a completely non-pornographic comedy co-starring Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy. As if that weren't enough, she graces this month's Details wearing nothing but Oscar gold. Just goes to show you, Hollywood loves roller skates.

FA FA FA FA FA, FA FA FA FA: When I bought Bret Easton Ellis' "American Psycho" almost 10 years ago, it came with a note from the bookstore that said they were only selling it because they believed in the First Amendment. The book was that grotesque. It was the grisly tale of an obsessive-compulsive Wall Street yuppie who likes to dismember the women in his life with power tools. And now it will be coming to a theater near you. Aren't you lucky? The film will star Christian Bale (the kid from Empire of the Sun), Jared Leto (Prefontaine) and the right man for any movie with "psycho" in the title, Willem Dafoe. No actresses have signed on to subject themselves to this abuse. Yet. (And if you don't get the headline, think Talking Heads.)

THE UNREAL BLONDE: Ever see a fake naked picture of a major movie star who doesn't do nudity? They're all over the 'Net. Now, Alyssa "I Won't Take Off My Clothes More Than A Dozen Times Per Movie" Milano's mother has started a business called Cyber-Trackers, dedicated to tracking this kind of material (and legitimate stuff too) for stars who sign up with her. And the service only costs $2000 a month. But isn't this kind of like Tracy Lords' mother starting up "Virgin-Finders?"

READER OF THE DAY: From D. Gary: "The problem with Leo right now is just the typical backlash that occurs when a star is over-hyped. I used to enjoy his work, but now I am totally sick of him! Therefore, I definitely won't be going to see The Man in the Iron Mask. I have had my fill of him. Ditto John Travolta. Take him away, please!"

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These are the dog days of Hollywood. Sports fans will recognize it as the Swimsuit Period. That's the time between the end of the Super Bowl and March Madness (that's the NCAA basketball tournament, for those of you who aren't sports fans) where there just is no good reason to sit in front of a TV with the testosterone flowing and a six pack by your side. So this is when Sports Illustrated takes advantage of the lull and puts out an issue of semi-nude women that sits on news racks for about a month.
In Hollywood, it's the December charge that creates the lull; all those "quality" movies hitting screens within two weeks of one another, all hoping for Oscar nominations. Some go wide immediately. Some wait. Some get their nominations. Some don't. But as a result, January, February and March get very little play outside of the Academy Award push. It's dump, dump, dump your crappy movies. From the first of the year until last week, the only big studio release worth watching has been The Wedding Singer. The Borrowers is terrific, but it's marginalized as a kids' film. Last week, Dark City showed up and was worth a viewing, but audiences so bored by the stream of Blues Brothers 2000s and Deep Risings and Spice Worlds couldn't get excited enough to leave their houses.

At next week's convention for theater owners, ShoWest (which The Hot Button will be covering daily starting Tuesday, March 10), exhibitors will be screaming, "We want more quality product in the first quarter!" They scream it every year. But the studios, who have become more aggressive in the non-holiday portions of spring and fall, tend to stay out of the pre-Oscar period. The logic will be obvious if you look at the box office. Three wide releases last week and none passed $6 million. Sphere crashed into the ocean and The Replacement Killers is struggling to generate $20 million domestic.

But which is the chicken and which is the egg? Are the studios holding back product because it's doomed to fail or is failure inevitable because the material is terrible? Fox took advantage of the lull last year with its Star Wars re-release, effectively making them the only real story of the Swimsuit Period. This year, Titanic took advantage of the lull. I would suggest that audiences sense the lull and don't trust the films that arrive fresh in the theaters. But with Titanic maintaining the $20 million a week pace for months, how can studios argue that people won't show up for a good movie?

At least it's almost over. U.S. Marshals, The Big Lebowski and Hush make this a legitimately big weekend, even though some would say that all three are inferior films that are really being dumped. I haven't seen them, but that's the buzz. The Man in the Iron Mask is next, then Primary Colors,and on April 3, the first real mega-movie of the year, Lost In Space. Or is it really the first film of summer?

ROTD: Readers responded to Monday's "Reader of the Day" by showing a lot of support for Leonardo DiCaprio, especially for his role in What's Eating Gilbert Grape. One reader saw something else in Ryan N's comment. From Matt B: "Why so much hate toward Ms. Heche? Is it homophobia? Could it be that she does quality films instead of mainstream thoughtless flicks? Perhaps Ryan's adversity toward Anne Heche speaks more about him than it does her. Don't worry, Ryan, there will be plenty of mindless, hate-mongering films out there for you to fling your money towards. That just means I won't have to put up with narrow-minded idiots, like Ryan, when I go to the movies -- such as ones that Anne Heche will star in. My view on Anne Heche is that she is a very versatile, talented, character actress."

Ryan N. responds: "I realized afterwards that my comment bashing Anne Heche in a letter wondering why everyone felt the need to constantly bash Leonardo DiCaprio was pretty hypocritical. I get pretty overzealous when it comes to the stars on my A-list. That said, my problem with Anne Heche has absolutely nothing to do with homophobia. Whom I like to watch on screen depends on how much they appeal to me, and how much their performances consistently move me and impress me -- it has nothing to do with their personal life. Anne Heche has never left a positive impression on me. She just doesn't appeal to me. I've never cared much for her performances, or most of the films she has been in. If you think I'm narrow-minded, so be it."

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IT'S ABOUT TIME: Paramount has joined the rest of the movie business by finally starting up their own art house label. Still unnamed, the division will be headed by veterans from Fine Line (a division of New Line) and Fox Searchlight (20th Century Fox) in hopes that Paramount, which is one gimpy studio outside of Titanic, can re-legitimize itself with Hollywood's talent pool (That means no more SNL movies, Ms. Lansing!). Miramax has been chalking up money and Oscar nods for Disney for years. October Films got sucked up into the Universal black hole earlier this year, just in time to lose steam. And Sony Classics, pretty much the old man in this group, just keeps chugging along. The only studio still holding out is Warner Bros., the home of the $30 million art film (see: Midnight In The Garden of Good and Evil). Must be Chris Pula's fault.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH: The winner of the race to get the role of Andy Kaufman in Man In The Moon, Milo Forman's biopic on the late, great comic actor, is Jim Carrey. What's surprising is that Carrey not only screen tested for the role, but he almost didn't get it. It came down to Carrey and Edward Norton, whom I would think was perfect casting. But Carrey, a close friend from the old stand-up days, apparently "became" Kaufman in the short screentest, performing with Kaufman's actual bongos. This could be the film that moves Carrey permanently from "funny, crazy guy" to "actor," as Kaufman's story, including death by cancer at 33, is sure to be poignant in Forman's hands.

HOT ITEM: C. Thomas Howell, Angie Everhart and Sammi Davis will star in Death Do Us Part. No one will care.

RUNNING TIME, RUNNING WILD: People complain these days that films are too long. Not these two. Krippendorf's Tribe runs a barely studio acceptable one hour and 35 minutes after the studio cut enough of the film to make it watchable. And Eric Idle, star of Burn Hollywood Burn, says that cuts by screenwriter Joe Eszterhas actually made the film worse. Hard to imagine. But the film is left with a one hour and 23-minute running-time, despite a completely worthless slow-mo title sequence and credit-roll complete with outtakes that interrupt the credits instead of running alongside. Together, they waste about eight minutes. I would have preferred the 75-minute version.

HULK NO LIKE: It would appear that Universal is balking at the estimated $100 million budget for a movie version of "The Incredible Hulk," featuring a major load of ILM computer effects. What were they expecting with that kind of CG fest? These are the same guys who kicked in $115 million for lava in Dante's Peak. Even worse, Universal will apparently fill Hulk's slot in the line-up with a Flintstones sequel. Yabba-Dabba-Ugh.

READER OF THE DAY: From Brooks C: "Are you like me? Are you of the opinion that a movie can only make money on the basis of a nifty trailer or a sequel title? Look at the success of Men In Black (last year's best trailer), The Lost World (anyone see the trailer?) and Titanic. Just this past week, we saw how The Wedding Singer can pack 'em in on sheer novelty. Unfortunately, the two best movies of the year, L.A. Confidential and Boogie Nights couldn't find enough zingers to edit into the previews."

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OK, kids. Hold onto your hats. This is not a misprint. Titanic grossed less than $20 million this weekend. I know! It's horrifying. $19.7 million, ending the longest streak of $20 million weekends ever at 10. But Titanic was not the only film to sink this weekend and the others didn't have a $900 million life raft. Dark City couldn't muster up more than $5.5 million. Krippendorf's Tribe hit the crapper with $3.2 million. And David was Schwimmering with sharks, as Kissing a Fool smooched the dirt with just $2.2 million in ticket sales. The only negative that could be seen as a positive was Caught Up, a crime drama that grabbed $2.4 million despite a minimal promotional push for the film. The only truly happy note is The Wedding Singer, whose $9 million showing left it $1 million shy of a $50 million domestic gross after its third week of release. A sweet movie and a sweet success for all involved.

THE GOOD: Not much this weekend. I guess it's good that so few people bit on Krippendorf's Tribe. And of course, any box office weekend that makes movies by the stars of "Friends" less likely is OK by me.

THE BAD: The weak weekend automatically reduces Dark City to a video cult hit. It is a flawed film, but it really should be seen on a big screen if it's going to be seen at all.

THE UGLY: I'm giving this week's ugly over to David Denby, critic from New York Magazine. His review of Sphere in its entirety: "At the end of Sphere, the three principals -- Dustin Hoffman, Samuel L. Jackson and Sharon Stone -- agree, for the good of humanity, to forget everything that has happened to them in the movie up to that point. This is a pact I can only rush to join, and with exactly the same motive. There are just some things that humankind is better off not knowing about."

JUST WONDERING: Did the rest of you note the passing of character actor J.T. Walsh? I certainly did. I'd go on now, but I've already shot my wad on this week's chapter of The Whole Picture. It'll be available on Wednesday.
TWO BAD MOVIES EQUAL: Burn Hollywood Burn + Krippendorf's Tribe = Burn Krippendorf Burn. Disney's hilarious sequel stars our own Andy Jones as a pissed off reporter who burns Richard Dreyfuss alive until he doesn't actually need any make-up to convince his college peers that he's discovered a tribe of the walking dead.

YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT AFTER ALL: I noticed this weekend that Mary Richards line-produced The Borrowers. She made it to Hollywood from Minneapolis after all. Up until now, I thought she was spending all her time losing weight and getting face lifts.

BAD AD WATCH: The pull quotes are in on Kissing A Fool. Loving it as only they could are Lisa Best from Global, Olivia Fierro from KTTV, Bobbie Wygant of KXAS, Brian Carroll from The Interview Factory Radio Syndicate and last but not least, Byron Allen, whose talk show, "Entertainers," is known for its kissing. Kissing that has to be done before the guest sits.

READER OF THE DAY: From Ryan N: "I'm quickly realizing that I'm about the only person who visits this site that actually thinks Leonardo DiCaprio is very talented. For those who aren't fans...if you don't like Leonardo, why are you going to see his films? I avoid the people I don't like. I wouldn't pay to see Anne Heche in a film even if her performance cured the common cold. And that will not change."

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