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April 21, 1998

Next Week at the Hot Button

Next week, I'm going on a cruise ship and I'm leaving the Hot Button Asylum to the inmates. That's you, gang! You want a chance to be Dave for a day? Here it is. But I need your comments, thoughts, rants or just plain insults about Hollywood this week, so I can package them for next week. Topics that are already on the table are Favorite Movies, The Worst Movie of 1998 To Date, Movie Ideas You Are Desperate To See Made and Racism (Perceived or Real) in The Movie Business. But the topic list is wide open. It's up to you! So, write, right now.

CONTEST WINNERS: As long as I'm doing housekeeping at the top of the page today, let me be the first to congratulate Mario, aka mar1679. He's the contest winner this week, just barely nosing out Sam H. Ironically, neither gave an address. I hope they'll read this and correct that. Mario didn't even give a last name. In any case, they were the only two who actually got the Top Five right. Only two others got the Top Four in order and they were Jennifer J and Deidre C. When asked about sex in the entry form, Jennifer responded "yes," so she'll be getting a special Hot Button Smart-Ass prize. Thanks to all of you who entered and keep trying. So far, no one has made the Top Five twice, so there is hope. And keep an eye out for this week's prize sponsor on Thursday.

STEPPING ON MICHAEL DOUGLAS' HEAD: Warner Bros. is apparently high on The Perfect Murder, the Michael Douglas/Gwyneth Paltrow murder mystery from director Andy "The Fugitive" Davis. So high that they may movie the film to the June 5 slot that has sent everyone else running because of its proximity to Godzilla. I, for one, am hoping they'll make the move. That way the studios can junket Godzilla and Gwyneth all in one glorious New York weekend.

SKEET IN RETREAT: After Skeet Ulrich took the role in Ang Lee's To Live On that Matt Damon was supposed to take before he took the role that Leonardo DiCaprio was supposed to take in All the Pretty Horses, he started telling people he would be ready to retire from the film business after another five or six films. Why? Because his wife, Georgina Cates, retired from acting to live on a farm in Virginia, and says Skeet, "I was so proud of her when she quit the business." Now, I'm not one to mock those lost in the self-delusion of intense romance (Skeet has her name tattoed on his left pec and she has his on her right buttock), but these two are both under 30 and in show business. They have violated the Eleventh Commandment 1998: Thou Shall Not Have An Actor's Name Tattooed On Your Body, No Matter How Good The Sex!

ORSON WELLES, THE MOTION PICTURE: It looks like director Tim Robbins is finally going to get into production with his long-talked-about period drama about the fight over Marc Blitzstein's The Cradle Will Rock. The little-known (outside of the theater world) Blitzstein will be played by Hank Azaria, who will next be seen in Godzilla. But the real fun, besides what I'm sure will be a great movie in its own right, will be current actors playing well-known figures form the past. John Cusack will play Nelson Rockefeller, Cary Elwes will play the young John Houseman and as Orson Welles, is Angus McFadden, who you will remember from Braveheart and who is currently playing another dead guy, Peter Lawford, in HBO's movie about the Rat Pack. Also on board are some little-known actors: Vanessa Redgrave, Susan Sarandon and John Turturro. I'll definitely be looking forward to this one.

ADVENTURES IN IRONY: Castle Rock has bought William Prochnau's Vanity Fair article, "Adventures in the Ransom Trade." Where did they come up with that catchy title? No doubt it was inspired from screenwriter William Goldman's classic show biz book Adventures in the Screen Trade. Where does Goldman call home these days? Castle Rock. Maybe he'll end up writing the screenplay.

READER OF THE DAY: Maria responds, rather viciously, to my question about who would be next to be caught with their pants down in Hollywood: "It is so obvious the next to be caught in an awkward position will be those two pretty boys who think they can act, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. They will probably be caught in the back of a brand new car they buy with the $5.5 million Mattie will get for doing that movie that was first offered to Leo!"

Posted by Archive at 12:00 AM |

April 09, 1998

Scream Into Love

Kevin Williamson just did a deal to write a romantic comedy with the idea of deconstructing the genre the same way he did the horror genre in Scream. Early trailer dialogue: " 'Somebody loves love too much.' (Gorgeous unknown 19-year-old actress in a push-up bra walks with a romance novel and falls into an open manhole.) 'From the guy who made a horror hit that we can't mention because Miramax might sue us, LOVE!' (Matthew Broderick talks to a buddy.) 'OK, so if I take a panther named Baby to her and tell her she reminds me of Katherine Hepburn, but without the shaking, she'll fall into my arms?' Friend retorts, 'It wasn't a panther, it was a leopard.' Broderick, 'No, I'm pretty sure it was a panther.' Friend, 'No, it was a leopard.' Girl at next table looks up from her book, 'It was a leopard.' Matthew Broderick looks at her, 'In the words, that uh, were, uh, used by Hugh Grant, uh, referring to the 'Partridge Family' in that clever way of his, but now we know that he's really not romantic, but prefers oral sex with prostitutes on Sunset Boulevard, but the line still works, I think I love you.' Annonuncer: 'LOVE! whines into theaters next Valentine's Day!' "
DREW LOVE: Drew Barrymore is pushing along with her producing career and, unlike a certain young actress whose name involves a precious metal and the eternal status of Cheech and Chong, Drew seems to have the right idea. The project is Never Been Kissed, which takes the former high school-geek Barrymore back to school. This movie is a natural that is undoubtedly a high school boy geek's wet dream. Not because Drew might seduce a pocket protector pal (only rock stars, actors and uber-hip bar owners need apply), but because you can be sure she's going to deflate the egos of the jock idiots that make life hell for the four-eyed nation.

THE BIG AIR BOAT: OK, so a sequel to Titanic is pretty much impossible. But Twister director Jan DeBont knows a good idea when he steals it. Twister pretty much riffed on Jurassic Park -- all mind-blowing effects, minimal story. Now, it's Hindenberg. The story is the story of the Hindenberg, which crashed in New Jersey in 1937, but with two fictional characters, an American Navy officer and a German documentarian who happens to be a fabulous babe. I guess we should expect Leni Riefenstahl to be up for the Gloria Stuart spot in the Best Supporting Actress Oscar nominations in a couple of years.

JUST WONDERING: Did anyone else notice The Spice Girls concert on Showtime included their interpretation of that classic hit, "Generation Next?" I guess if Elvis were alive, he'd be ending each song with "Always Coca-Cola" instead of "Thank you very much."

IT WAS ONLY A ";&$^%(*&@ING JOKE!: Rip Torn has a court judgement against Dennis Hopper to the tune of $475,000 because Hopper claimed on "The Tonight Show" that Torn lost the Jack Nicholson role in Easy Rider because he attacked Hopper with a knife. Hopper has backed off the story since, but apparently Torn can hold a grudge. Maybe Burt Reynolds can sue Stroker Ace director Hal Needham for talking him out of taking the Nicholson role in Terms of Endearment, which was as detrimental to Burt as losing Easy Rider was for Torn. But who will Nicholson sue for Wolf and Mars Attacks!?

STUCK IN THE WEB: Just as Harry Knowles was ready to start pre-production on Jim Cameron's Spiderman, starring Leo DiCaprio and Gloria Stuart, the project is heading back to the courtroom. Marvel Comics, smelling the Cameron deal that the financially troubled comic book publisher has been anxious for, is suing MGM, Sony and Viacom (parent of Paramount) to regain exclusive rights to the character. That would mean Marvel could sell the rights to the highest bidder, which with Cameron interested would mean as much as $15 million upfront. In the meantime, with Spiderman and Terminator in rights' battles, look for Cameron to make a less effects-oriented project (Planet of The Apes probably) his next "go" project. And don't be too surprised if Cameron elects to co-finance the film with Fox with his $100 million Titanic check burning a hole in his pocket.

BOX OFFICE CHALLENGE: This week's sponsor is MGM's latest, Species 2. We tried to get you one of those really cool Natasha Henstridge babe/monster posters, but the regular-sized ones are all gone and the only stock MGM has are bus stop-sized ones that can't be bent and weigh about 30 pounds. Cool, but too hard to ship. This week we also make the game easier to play by adding a little rough cut technology. Stop back tomorrow and you'll be able to give your picks, read the rules and get ready to win Species II T-shirts and posters!

READER OF THE DAY: From Jim Mattes: "Cameron's speech seemed more joyful than arrogant, and that makes all the difference. His career arc is just beginning, so there should be more Aliens to come. The only downside is that since the first Terminator and Aliens, Jim's films have increasingly bloated in time and girth. I didn't mind the excess 20 minutes or so in The Abyss and Terminator 2: Judgment Day, but the one hour dead-zone in True Lies was noticeable, as was the first hour-and-a-half of Titanic. Let's hope this trend does not continue, while his skill as a filmmaker continues to increase as it has. Greater movies than this will Jim make, of that we might be sure. Then again, we might be wrong, so I shall wait and see."

Posted by Archive at 12:00 AM |

April 08, 1998

Ranting and Raving

$100 million. What would I do with $100 million? Jim Cameron has it, all in one check, and he deserves it. He earned it the old fashioned way. He made a $280 million movie and shocked everyone as it turned into an international phenomenon. That's the way, boy! Anyway, back to me. If I had $100 million. Well, I'd probably make one of my own movies, but that would be cheap. Maybe a couple of million. I don't write epics. Not interested.
So, I have $98 million left. Let's see. I guess I would go and offer part of the money to Albert Brooks, some more to David Mamet and another $25 million or so to a dozen documentary filmmakers who really need it. I'd do anything to encourage Brooks to make more movies. Mamet is weird, but I think he's an incredibly underrated director. And I love documentaries and hate that they are almost impossible to get made. Even worse, nobody shows the films in theaters, so I'd lay out a few million to buy my own revival house where I would run really good movies and really good movies only.

That leaves about $31 million in my account. Put that $1 million into an account for my nephews, nieces and godchildren to go to college. Better make that $2 million -- one of them might want to go to a private university. That leaves $29 million. Better put $5 million aside for litigation. I don't know what I did to earn this big check, but whatever it was, I'm sure some idiot will be suing me to get a part of it. Speaking of idiots, I should think about the IRS. Wait a minute! With $100 million, I'll never have to pay taxes again! Suckers!

Okay, $24 million burning a hole in my pocket. Should I give it to the United Nations? Nah! Been done by someone. The name eludes me. Feed, clothe and shelter the homeless? A worthy idea. But how about this? What if I do the filmic version of these sidewalk newspapers that homeless people are selling all around America these days. I'll turn homeless men into grips, gaffers and P.A.s. After all, those crew guys pretty much dress like homeless guys on the set anyway. Who would notice? A national below-the-line training program. Cool. Of course, I'll need to set aside another $2 million to defend against the suit by the unions. And another $500,000 for bodyguards to keep me form getting killed in a mysterious accident.

That leaves about $20 million. I could make an IMAX film. Inside IMAX. Nope. I could buy an episode of "E.R." Oops. Not enough cash. I could hire Sylvester Stallone to wash my car for a year, but he never vacuums the carpet in back. Forget it. I could buy the rights to Terminator 3 and make Jim Cameron's life hell for a few years. I could start dating Pamela Lee. We could remove all her tattoos and start again. I could start my own fabulous girl group, The Dave-ettes. They would all wear really snazzy clothes and sing well, so they would just lose all my money. Or I could get out of this crazy industry, move to Montana with a nice woman and have some kids, grow old in a healthy, loving environment and die at a ripe old age with children I could be proud of, a wife who loves me, real peace of mind and be buried on my own land.

What? And give up show business?

READER OF THE DAY: Timothy Kooney responded to the question about what was terrible about 1997: "[THE] LOST WORLD!!!!! Unlike Titanic, it was special effects with NO story, acting, plotting or anything else that would be considered part of the cinemagraphic arts. At least Titanic had a mediocre plot and somewhat interesting characters. Sadly, even the dinosaurs, though well done, did not break any new ground. I still break out in a cold sweat when I think about Michael Crichton and Jeff Goldblum getting paid ANY sum to embarrass their craft. Of course, Hollywood redeemed itself by granting the truly superior L.A. Confidential two Oscars. I've seen it three times and I think I will add a bit more to its box office while I can still catch it on the big screen."

Posted by Archive at 12:00 AM |

April 07, 1998

Spielberg and More

According to the New York Post, home of many publicists' fantasies, comes the story that Ray Liotta, who plays Frank Sinatra in HBO's "The Rat Pack," received a model of a bloody horse's head (like in The Godfather) with a note signed with Tina Sinatra's initials. It could be true or it could just be a stunt. Having had some dealings with her in an early life, Tina is one of the people I would least like ticked off at me for something I published, and she is not happy about "The Rat Pack." Upcoming gifts to be sent to the movie set could include a box with Sammy Davis Jr.'s eye, Peter Lawford's fingerprint-laden/Marilyn Monroe-killing syringe and Joey Bishop's career.
MORE SPIELBERG: Last week, Steven Spielberg bought a novel on Charles Lindbergh. This week, he's contemplating New Line's project, The Notebook. It's a Jeremy Leven (Don Juan DeMarco) script based on the Nicholas Sparks' bestseller in which a man reads his diary to his sick spouse. Sounds more kind of like a soft core porn movie found at 3 a.m. on HBO than a Spielberg movie. If you hear later that Steve's signed Tom Hanks and Shannon Tweed, watch out.

SEYMORE BUTTS: For those of you who love Dennis Franz in "NYPD Blue," he'll be repeating one of his most infamous TV moments by showing his butt in the upcoming City of Angels. I was looking forward to the film until reading that. I mean, Nicolas Cage, Meg Ryan (who gets a lot of words in tomorrow's new The Whole Picture) and Andre Braugher, one of my favorite little-known actors on one hand. Semi-nude Franz on the other. Everybody else. Semi-nude Franz. OK, I'm still going to see the film, but I may avert my eyes.

ON THE MONEY TRAIN, AGAIN: After being reamed by Variety last week for reporting that Jim Cameron would get more than $100 million for Titanic from Fox and Paramount, The Hollywood Reporter reported Monday the deal was finally done on Friday. This, of course, is the second Fox story this month that was greeted with surprise by the trades when it happened. The other being the Star Wars deal. Yet every day both trades - and often The Hot Button - report news of deals that have yet to be signed. That is how this business works. Actors often don't sign their real contracts until films are well into production or even after the films have wrapped. Who was it that said rumors were just facts that haven't been confirmed yet? It's not always true, but in the case of Cameron's payday, it inevitably was.

ADVENTURES OF STUD BOY: Producer Tom Cruise has grabbed the English-language remake rights to the Spanish film, Open Your Eyes. The film is about an obsessive lover who gets back at the dumper after getting dumped. After being trained in obsessive love stories at the foot of director Stanley Kubrick, Cruise and his producing partner, Paula Wagner, have set a shooting schedule for the unscripted, uncast project for 17 months and 11 days.

JUST WONDERING: Anyone out there excited about The Players Club, The Big One, City of Angels or Species II?

FROM BIG SCREEN TO SMALL: Has Helen Hunt's Oscar helped open the door to TV for movie actors? Well, this year's pilot season offers Nathan Lane, Samantha Mathis, Lori Petty, Julie Hagerty and Joan Plowright, plus Madchen Amick and Malcolm McDowell on the brand new "Fantasy Island." The countdown to the Sharon Stone sitcom begins now. Meanwhile, Martin Scorsese is joining Barry Levinson as a TV executive producer, making a deal with ABC that includes a 13-episode commitment to a new series from novelist Nicholas Pileggi whose Wiseguys was turned into Goodfellas. Not a sitcom. And finally, TNT has increased its schedule of original films from eight to 13 for next year, filling the place of the lost NFL package. So the odds have increased significantly for "Dave: Portrait of An Obnoxious Columnist," starring Meeno Peluce as the young Dave, Antonio Sabato, Jr. as the vain and egomaniacal current Dave and Robert Foster as the older/still-hasn't-happened-yet Dave.

HER TWO CENTS: Every time you buy a Heather Graham doll from Lost In Space (OK, I guess it's a Judy Robinson doll) Heather gets two cents from every dollar you spend. Heather's Rollergirl doll from Boogie Nights gets $200 an hour and if you try and remove her head, she kicks you in the groin with her skates over and over again, screaming "You can't disrespect me!"

AND HIS GOOD SENSE: Lost In Space director Stephen Hopkins and the LIS crew is already signed for the sequel, but Hopkins is already saying publicly that he isn't "sure if [he] did a good job or not." Reviews of Hopkins directing accomplishment are mixed, but he was smart enough not to say publicly what every man watching the movie was thinking, which was, "Who cares about his career as a director? He got Heather Graham in bed!"

READER OF THE DAY: From killcows: "I have discovered THE REAL TRUTH about Hollywood . THERE IS NO HOLLYWOOD. It's just a big set built underground in L.A. where all the REAL sleaze hang out and have sex, push drugs and kill each other. All movies are actually chronicles of life on other planets that were discovered by the U.S. government in the 1890s, when the real first trip to the moon occurred. AND ALL HOLLYWOOD STARS ARE REALLY ALIENS AND ARE REALLY GAY. That explains everything."

Posted by Archive at 12:00 AM |

February 28, 1998

NEWS BY THE NUMBERS

10. Heading For The Hills: Daniel Day Lewis doesn't feel like playing the movie star game anymore. The New York Daily News is reporting that he's going to give up show business for the quiet hills of Ireland. My question: Hasn't he already been gone for a few years?

9. New Woo For You: Tom Cruise is preparing once again to do double duty as producer/star in Mission: Impossible 2. But the news here is behind the camera. Oliver Stone dropped out as director and now Cruise is talking to John Woo as the replacement killer. Though Woo has helmed big-budget flicks before (like Face/Off), this would be his first studio-life-and-death summer tentpole. Expect a big body count.

8. Harry And David: The skirmish between sites took its toll this week as Harry Knowles beat David Poland in a Stupid Question poll of their fist fighting skills, about 75% to 25%. Good news though. TNT has purchased the rights for a WCW pay-per-view. Kevin Smith will be in Knowles' corner, while Poland will fight in Arnold Schwarzenneger's 70-pound costume from Batman and Robin as symbolic punishment for working for a multi-national. May the darkest haired man win! (Hey! It's still my column.)

7. MS MIA: Microsoft decided to follow AOL's dumping of Entertainment Asylum by dumping their entertainment sites, Cinemania Online and Music Central. Don't worry. This setback hasn't made Microsoft any less arrogant. They'll be trying to get $19.95 a year from you for their not-too-popular on-line magazine Slate.

6. Direct To Video, If You're Lucky: The American Film Market is back in L.A. The market, which despite their protests to the fact, is primarily for foreign buyers of independently produced crap. It ain't no Cannes. But if you really have a yen to see over-the-hill action stars or lots of sexy but unsuccessful actresses who will take off their clothes for a part, this is the place for you.

5. Wag the Trailer Park: After the Clinton sex scandal hit, audiences decided that Wag the Dog was a little too real to be funny, so they stayed home. Universal Studios Florida suffered the same bad luck with their new ride based on the movie Twister. After 39 people were killed last week in tornadoes in Central Florida, the premiere of the ride was indefinitely postponed. Also knocked out of the box was Six Flags Over Texas' planned "Spending Oprah's Money."

4. The Wrath of Mikey: Michael Eisner went to Tuesday's annual shareholders meeting in Kansas City under pressure from institution investors who wanted more independent directors on the Disney board as a balance to the fact that Eisner has no clear successor and no plan to have one in sight. Despite Eisner's protest, 35 percent of shareholders managed to cast their votes for the measure before actually getting hit by lightning bolts.

3. Oscar Hint Of The Week: The Writer's Guild, whose membership closely shadows the Writer's Branch of the Academy, gave their annual screenwriting awards to As Good As It Gets (Best Screenplay Written Directly For The Screen) and L.A. Confidential (Best Adaptation From Other Material). Will it matter Oscar night? Who knows? But remember, all Academy members vote in the finals, not just the writers.

2. Black Out: In much worse news at the Writers Guild America West, Black History Month came to a close with this admission from Guild rep Zara Buggs Taylor: "There is a dearth of African-American, Latino and Asian writers in the Guild and frankly, I don't see it getting better." The western half of the writer's union boasts 8,700 members. Only 233 are Black, 93 are Latino, 44 are Asian members, 18 are Native American and five are Eskimo. No joke here. It isn't funny.

1. Risk Free Business: Mel Gibson is preparing to direct his version of the Ray Bradbury classic Fahrenheit 451, but he may not play the lead as originally planned. If Mel gets his first choice for the lead, Warner Bros. could finance the film by selling tickets to the set. It's Tom Cruise. Why is this news? It's part of the return of Cruise to Hollywood life after being hijacked by Stanley Kubrick for over a year. As one of the few truly bankable leads in Hollywood, Cruise's ambitious work schedule could actually save a lot of jobs in the executive ranks. And Warner Bros. execs need all the help they can get.

READER OF THE DAY: From Alex A: `You recently had someone send you an e-mail that said that Titanic would remain number one until Leonardo DiCaprio's new movie The Man in the Iron Mask took its place. I think when 'Man...' is released, we'll all get a good close look at why Leo didn't get nominated for Best Actor."


E-Me. Tough room! But like it or not, the buzz on Leo's next film has not been good. How much of The Man In The Iron Mask's opening weekend do you think will be about Leo and how much of it will be the movie (preview, ads, etc)?

Posted by Archive at 04:33 PM | | Comments (0)

February 16, 1998

Not The Weekend Review

In a moment of history when presidents are held in questionable esteem, whatever their poll numbers, I forgot that this is a three-day weekend in Hollywood. So, tomorrow will be weekend review day. But here's some sneak peak approximations. Titanic will do more than $25 million over three days and could get as high as $34 million over four. The Wedding Singer ($18m - $23m) should beat out Sphere ($16m - $20m) for second place. Good Will Hunting ($8m - $10m) and As Good As It Gets ($6.5m - $8m) will take fourth and fifth, while The Borrowers ($5m - $6.25m) should just edge out The Replacement Killers ($4.75 - $6m) for sixth.

OLD FACES IN NEW PLACES
Many of you have accused Hollywood of a lack of imagination in your letters to me. Well, today is the day The Hot Button proves your point. The following are all projects that heated up in the last week.

DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE: David Mamet is the writer. Al Pacino plays the man of two faces. Even director Harold Becker is kind of a retread. He's the guy who put Pacino through his paces on the disastrous 1997 release City Hall. Maybe Julia Roberts will do a cameo as Mary Reilly. Let's hope not.

UNTITLED SEQUEL TO THE MUPPET MOVIE: Henson Productions bought a pitch last week for a musical that finds the Muppets living the high life in Hollywood only to realize that they've lost their values, which sends them fleeing back to the swamps. Must be fictional. The Muppets haven't had a hit since The Great Muppet Caper in 1981.

ADAM SANDLER: THE MOVIE, PART 3: Adam and his writing-directing-producing pals are developing a fifth picture as a group. The new one, Guy Gets Kid, is about an immature 30-year-old whose life is changed when he adopts a six-year-old boy. He's currently shooting The Water Boy, about an immature 29-year-old whose life is changed when he finds he has a knack for football. He's in theaters now with The Wedding Singer as an immature 28-year-old whose life is changed when his fiancée dumps him. Or you can rent Billy Madison (immature 27-year-old turns elementary school student) or Happy Gilmore (immature 26-year-old turns golf pro).

MILDRED PIERCE: MGM is going to do a modern version of the Joan Crawford classic, Mildred Pierce. Execs are claiming that they won't be remaking the movie so much as building a whole new movie from the original James M. Cain novel. Sure. Why not? Disney's 1990 remake of Stella Dallas didn't completely destroy Bette Midler's film career.

READER OF THE DAY: DCXU42B writes: "Leonardo DiCaprio, Djimon Honsou and Rupert Everett definitely gave three of the most memorable performances of the year. These performances touched and moved millions of people and will not be soon forgotten. And that's a reward in itself -- for them and for us."


Posted by Archive at 12:00 AM |

February 10, 1998

Bits of News

YOUTHANIZING MIKE: Or is that euthanizing? Michael Douglas seems to be chasing his childhood with a passion. He's hopping from an on-screen romance with 24-year-old Gwyneth Paltrow in A Perfect Murder to his first full-bore action film, U-571, a World War II thriller. Like the old saying goes, if the war fits your age, fight it.

COMIC TAKE: Six comic book movies were made last year. Only two (MIB and Spawn) were hits. The rest were flops. But studios keep buying. This week it's Dylan Dog, a detective who's not actually a dog, bought by Miramax for $750,000 against $1.5 million. So add some watercolors to those sharpened pencils when you shoot for the big screenplay sale.

DADDY DEAREST: The man who is attached to direct the eventual live-action version of Dylan Dog is Breck Eisner. Yes, he's the son of Michael "I Want To Devour The Entire Planet" Eisner. But it's hard to get worked up about the idea that nepotism is at play. Little Eisner, 27, was the director behind the Budweiser frogs, the Jason Alexander Rold Gold spots and blurbs for Coke, Sega, Kodak and Zima as well. That's now the traditional route to feature directing.

JUST WONDERING: Why would Sony hire Danny Cannon, director of Judge Dredd, to direct the sequel to I Know What You Did Last Summer? Even if you write off his mega-flop, the guy is a comic book visualist. IKWYDLS is a small-town character piece with horror added. Doesn't make sense, does it?

READER OF THE DAY: From John H, responding to an old Whole Picture: "'THX' refers to the sound system in theaters so designated, whereas the digital formats you refer to (DTS, SDDS, Dolby Digital) are the sound format of the film itself. Therefore, these are separate types of 'hardware.' A poor analogy: Tires and wheels; they're not the same, but they work together."

Posted by Archive at 12:00 AM |

February 07, 1998

More News by the Numbers

10. More Grisham: Philip Kaufman, best known as an "arty" director (Henry and June/The Unbearable Lightness of Being), hits the John Grisham trail with The Runaway Jury, the runaway project that's seen Joel Schumacher, Sean Connery and Edward Norton come and go. Let's hope Kaufman has, to quote the title of another of his films, The Right Stuff.
9. Nanny S.Q.U.E.A.L.S.: Former nanny to Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, Kim Tannahill, is now suing the couple, claiming she was "shamelessly exploited and abused" during her three-year stint on the job. But will forcing her into repeated screenings of Striptease and Color of Night really hold up in court?

8. Tobacco Row: Al Pacino and director Michael Mann, who teamed up for the undervalued Heat, are back together again, along with Russell Crowe, to tell the story of whistle-blowing tobacco executive Jeffrey Wigand. Heat, now "smoke." What's next, Fire: The Movie?

7. Script-Selling Roundup: So, you want to sell your screenplay to Hollywood? Variety has done a survey of the 146 films released by major studios in 1997 and found that spec scripts are still king, accounting for 43 percent of the films made. In second, screenplays from books made up 20 percent of the market. Writers sharpen your pencils and go!

6. 350 Days: A Shooting Odyssey: Stanley Kubrick has finally had enough. The 15-month shoot for the Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman starrer, Eyes Wide Shut, is over. Kubrick's long haul probably bugged Hollywood more than Cruise as it kept one of the five stars who guarantee a good opening weekend out of the summer '98 line-up.

5. Dumbest: The Dumb & Dumber sequel has moved to the front burner with "South Park" creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone taking on the screenwriting chores with a reported $1.5 million deal. The guys won't be writing too far out of their range as the sequel will be a prequel, offering up the Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels characters as 16-year-olds. "No Jim Carrey?! *(&#(** %&**^@#."

4. Monica Comes To Hollywood: Monica Lewinsky hit L.A. with the kind of media crush usually reserved for movie stars or murderers. Her first outing was at L.A. Farm, a hot spot for westside movie types. No deals have been reported, but Republicans are pushing for Shannen Doherty in the biopic, whereas angry Democrats see Rosie O'Donnell as the perfect fit.


3. Nominating Words: The nominees for the Writers Guild Awards are out. The only surprises are nods to Paul Thomas Anderson's Boogie Nights and Simon Beaufoy's The Full Monty. Kind of confirms that old saying about nerds and sex, huh?

2. The Mouse Blinks: Disney has changed its own rules and will release the sequel to Toy Story in 1999. Originally slated to go direct to video like the Aladdin and Beauty and The Beast sequels, the change of heart may reflect the relatively soft numbers for recent Disney animation and the new challenges to Disney's most valuable movie monopoly.

1. Goodbye and God Bless: The last of the first-generation moguls, Lew Wasserman, has retired from his position on the board at Universal Studios after 62 years. Not only does he know where all the bodies are buried, he dug most of the holes.

READER OF THE DAY: From Kin: "I need to visit rough cut more often. You miss a week or two and they go and rearrange EVERYTHING. I still can't find the silverware drawer."

Posted by Archive at 12:00 AM |

January 31, 1998

More News by the Numbers

10. Anastasia Returns, Again: After drawing just $56 million at American box offices, Fox is mounting its biggest marketing campaign ever -- at least $100 million -- for the home video release of Anastasia in April. So does that mean that Titanic will get a billion dollar home video push?

9. Killing The Messenger: New Line has chosen not to use the Clinton sex scandal to push Wag the Dog. But there has been one change in the ads. Now, the intention of the fictional president's distraction squad is, according to the revamped voice over, to "fool the media." Didn't fool me, guys.

8. Ancient History: They are touting Titanic "survivor" Gloria Stuart as the oldest nominee in the history of the Screen Actors Guild Awards. The four year history of the SAG Awards. Hollywood history is measured in dog years.

7. Reversal Of Fortune: Antoine Fuqua got the gig directing The Replacement Killers after his video for Coolio's "Gansta's Paradise" got credit for the success of the movie Dangerous Minds. Who's directing the video for the lead-off single from the soundtrack to Fuqua's film debut? Doug Liman, who got the gig after having a feature hit with Swingers.

6. SuperThud: Studios hoping to follow in the footsteps of ID4 and MIB were S.O.L. Armegeddon crashed and burned with its $2.6 million Super Bowl ad, as did the $1.3 million entries for Lost in Space, The Mask of Zorro, Mercury Rising and Sphere. None were even mentioned in viewer bowls after the game.

5. Courting Trouble: Courtney Love got Sundance to dump Nick Broomfield's documentary on her so-called-life, but her actions made the film the headline-grabber of the festival. Now, Broomfield can thank her for the unprecedented multimillion dollar documentary production deal he just got from the U.K.'s Channel 4. Gotta love it.

4. Or Was That Fore!?: Billy Baldwin took a decade of anti-Baldwin Brother karma on the chin when he got smashed in the face with an errant golf ball last week in San Diego. In response, brother Alec pummeled the golf ball. Daniel Baldwin seethed, but couldn't act. And no one reported on what Stephen Baldwin did since no one recognized him.

3. Oscar Time: The Director's Guild Award nominations are out. No other award better predicts the eventual Oscar winner in any category. And the winner is announced on March 7.

2. Do You Take This Maniac?: Woody Harrelson finally tied the (hemp) knot. No word on whether Mr. Harrelson was using his favorite product, a derivative of hemp, at the wedding, but he clearly was when he was naming his kids, Deni Montana and Zoe Giordano.

1. Twisting In The Wind: In a slow news week, Steven Spielberg not having to pay St. Louis writer who claims that he stole the story for Twister is the biggest news. The plaintiff will not be paid millions of dollars. Spielberg won't be appealing the case. And no one had sex with anyone.

READER OF THE DAY: This from Erin P.: "The Manchurian Candidate is the s--t. I'd pay through the nose to see it on the big screen. TV is so passé."

Posted by Archive at 12:00 AM |

December 30, 1997

Larry, Spike and Woody

No Series For You! -- This is a film column, but Larry David has a movie coming out soon, so I'm taking the liberty. Larry David co-created "Seinfeld" with Jerry. Larry is George. Kramer is Larry's neighbor. (And Elaine is not -- not -- Carol Leifer, despite her publicist's efforts to say she is.) The voice of the show is Larry's, not Jerry's. Unlike most sitcoms, "Seinfeld" wasn't rewritten by committee. It was rewritten every week by Larry David. Without his steadying voice, it wandered. If Larry David had been there this season, I'll bet that Jerry would have kept going. Anyway, we will have our first taste of post-"Seinfeld" Larry David when his movie debut, Sour Grapes, hits theaters this spring.

Black Like Spike -- While RC Daily slept, Spike Lee was out making a celebrity of himself, complaining about Jackie Brown and Amistad. Spike bitched that Tarantino's Jackie Brown used the N word too often. Spike even accused QT of wanting to be "an honorary black man." But Samuel L. Jackson, whose Ordell Robbie character is the main linguistic offender in the film, puts another slant on the epithet. "There's something about saying "nigger," as opposed to "niggeh" that's like fingernails on a blackboard," Jackson told me. "It becomes an epithet when you put the "e-r" on it and with "e-h" it can be a term of endearment, a descriptive, it can be all kinds of things." As for Amistad, Spike trotted out the traditional "movie about black characters with white guys as heroes" beef and argues the point on "Nightline" with Amistad producer Debbie Allen. That issue is actually one of my pet peeves (don't get me started on Glory) and I thought Spielberg did a decent job of keeping probable Academy Award winner Djimon Hunsou center stage.

When In Rome, Do Like Roman Does -- Well, not Rome. Venice. Woody marries Soon-Yi. Yuck! At least Julia Roberts and Elizabeth Shue got paid to neck with the guy. It's not clear whether Woody's getting more grief for marrying the 27-year-old or from critics pretending to be Freud analyzing his new flick, Deconstructing Harry. Either way, the Wood Man is one genius I want to keep far, far away from my nieces.

Posted by Archive at 12:00 AM |


Top Ten Movie News Stories of 1997

There was lots of movie news this year, but not much that will be remembered. Here are the 10, in inverse order, that I think will be.
10. Death -- Death is always a major story. There were some big ones this year (in alphabetical order): Chris Farley, Samuel Fuller, Burgess Meredith, Robert Mitchum, Dawn Steel, Jimmy Stewart and Fred Zinnemann. And my father, Sidney. You'll always be with us, whatever the format.

9. DreamWorks starts releasing movies -- Spielberg, Katzenberg and Geffen cut the red tape and the result was The Peacemaker, Amistad and Mouse Hunt. Tough out there, huh boys?

8. Star Wars -- The 20th anniversary release proved that the franchise is still the biggest with over $250 million for the trio in North America alone. Now Fox has the inside track on the prequel, due Memorial Day weekend, 1999. And though it's a sure bet to gross well over $500 million, that's nothing compared to the billions in merchandising. Start lining up now.

7. Disney vs. Fox's Anastasia -- Fox was the home of paranoia as Disney released the same seven-year-old re-release that they do in early November and the same new film that they do every Thanksgiving. With Anastasia doing just $50 million domestic, who won the war? Sony's I Know What You Did Last Summer, which dominated the pre-Thanksgiving fall by giving audiences what they wanted instead of trying to fight an entrenched franchise.

6. The Return of Julia - Bankable women movie stars are almost as rare as producers who can balance their own checkbooks. The return of the redheaded, smiling, big-opening Julia Roberts in My Best Friend's Wedding is a triumph for the entire industry. You can never have enough major movie stars. Just don't greenlight Mary Reilly 2 by mistake.

5. Black filmmakers -- As the studios were getting out of the business of making relationship films with major white stars, young black filmmakers were filling the void. Ted Witcher's love jones, Kasi Lemmons' Eve's Bayou and George Tillman Jr.'s Soul Food all made their mark at the box office with strong stories and compelling characters. Meanwhile, Set It Off director Gary Gray got a greenlight for The Negotiator, the first film ever directed by a black director with a budget over $40 million. It's about time.

4. Titanic -- The saga of the budget. The PCP-laced seafood chowder. The delay from the July release date. The bad press. The reports of a $300 million budget. Entertainment Weekly's generous rewriting of history, reducing the film to an almost palatable $200 million. The mob at the Japanese opening. The success. What a story! And the eight or so Academy Award nods ain't gonna hurt either.

3. Studios rebound critically/Indies subside -- Last year, the Academy Awards were so independent that even the media couldn't tell the nominated stars from their publicists. This year, the studios are back. Miramax will be pushing Good Will Hunting, but aside from that, expect a studio landslide of nominations. What happened? Better movies overall. And the more good movies, the more likely that the ones form the major studios will be recognized.

2. Warner Bros. in flux -- After being the most stable studio in town for years, the WB has suddenly become The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight. Batman and Robin, Fathers Day, Mad City and Steel all made my Ten Worst list (coming this weekend). And L.A. Confidential, the favorite for the Best Picture Oscar, underperformed badly. So who got fired? Marketing President Chris Pula, perhaps the savvyest guy around. Another dead messenger. Another screwed up studio.

1. Sony Succeeds -- This was the biggest surprise of them all. Hit after hit after hit came from the failed tenure of former film chief Mark Canton. A record breaking $1.25 billion year with more than 20 percent of the domestic going into Sony pockets. And Godzilla is still awaiting its Memorial Day 1998 monster release. Last month, new movie chief John Calley announced a load of projects poised to get rolling, amongst the very first of his tenure. We'll know if they worked sometime in 1999. Meanwhile, where's Mark Canton? Heading back to the Warner Bros. fold. It's a small world after all.

Posted by Archive at 12:00 AM | | Comments (0)

November 22, 1997

Kate Winslet Took Ill Before Premiere

Kate Winslet took ill just before attending the London premiere of James Cameron's Titanic. This time it wasn't drugged chowder, but apparently a stomach flu she caught on location in Morocco. Cameron got 20th Century Fox to hire 700 doctors, flown in from across the globe and costumed in 19th Century costumes, to hold the bucket while Ms. Winslet vomited. Meanwhile, a crew of 2,000 workers built a replica of a 1926 London hospital Mr. Cameron once saw in a book. The only studio comment was from Paramount, laughing, "Screw Fox! It didn't cost us anything! So, is it time to make another Chris Farley movie yet?"

Fugitive producer Arnold Koppelson has bought "Jenny Hanniver," a thriller about two cryptozoologists -- scientists who search for new species -- who find a new monstrous creature and a woman who has a symbiotic relationship with it. Early reports that Roseanne will be the woman with Tom Arnold as the creature are false, though Warren Beatty is willing to play the creature opposite Annette Bening if the creature turns out to be a 38-year-old stud seen only in soft focus.

And you thought a live-action movie about "Bullwinkle" cartoon villains Boris and Natasha was a bad idea? At least they were humans who spoke. Next up is Mad Magazine's Spy vs. Spy. You know, those two kinda crow things, one black and one white, who keep blowing each other up, never saying a word. Expect the movie to have almost nothing to do with the comic, except for the idea of competing spies. Then, there's the new DreamWorks project. Imagine Toy Story, but where only the toys are computer animated and everything else is real. That's pretty much the gimmick in Small Soldiers ... Wait a minute! Whatever happened to "don't ask, don't tell?" The weekend is here. Will Monday prove yesterday's predictions were right?

Actors aren't the only Hollywooders who deviously deal. What film industry folk deserve to go to hell? E-mail in your suggestions -- your silence helps no one.


Posted by THB Archive at 10:33 PM |

October 15, 1997

Secret Agent Wednesday

The stories that Sony was in pursuit of the Bond franchise started last February. After a week or two of evasion, newly seated Sony Chief John Calley finally spoke to me about the situation and categorically denied that Sony was pursuing the Bond franchise. From all the tap dancing, it seemed that Calley had indeed been trying to leverage his relationship with Bond producer Barbara Broccoli (daughter of Cubby), with whom he had restarted the Bond engine at MGM/UA, the company he exited that is the long standing Bond rights holder. But the connection between Bond and UA was apparently too strong, legally or otherwise, to break. Story over.

But Calley was as smooth as Bond, stirred but not shaken, pursuing the back door entrance into Bondland, with producer Kevin McClory as the source of rights. McClory claims rights to the character based on his involvement in 1965's Thunderball, which he produced and co-storied. In 1983, he delivered Bond to Warner Bros. with Never Say Never Again, which remade the Thunderball story and was the start (along with Time Bandits) of Sean Connery's career resurrection. Guess who was head of production at WB when that happened. Calley!

The brewing legal bloodbath, centered around McClory's rights claim to the James Bond character, as opposed to his previous remaking of the one Bond property he had a hand in, should make December's Bond release, Tomorrow Never Dies, look G-rated in comparison. MGM/UA is, as it has been for years, in serious financial straits and Bond is the one plum in their pudding. In the meantime, call Calley Little Jack Horner, sitting in his corner with Men In Black winning last summer's box office race, Godzilla likely to win the summer of 1998 and an Astin Martin warming up in the garage.

And in the category of "more evasive, less important," Disney-based Interscope Communications will bankroll twin brothers Josh and Jonas Pate's third film, Earl Watt, to the tune of $50 million-plus. What's it about? The secret agent brothers won't say. Coyness from the twins whose first film was the direct-to-cable The Grave, described by TNT's very own Joe Bob Briggs as "Eleven dead bodies. No breasts. Bloody rabbit's foot. Pill poppin'. Embalming-table surgery. Aardvarking. Up-chucking. Baseball bat to the head. The old chained-to-the-floor-of-the-swamp-at-low-tide torture. Massive marijuana use. Multiple gravedigging. One brawl, with pitchfork. Finger rolls. Gratuitous Eric Roberts. Electric-chair fu." I'll tell you what, guys. Match the Coen brothers' first film (Blood Simple) or The Wachowski brothers' cherry-breaking Bound and you can be as mysterious as you want. In the meantime, you're just pissing me off.

If I have the same effect on you, email me. And you were all right. I am 67 percent possessed.

Posted by THB Archive at 08:40 PM |

October 09, 1997

Catholics Protest Black Out, King & I, Grizzly Mountain

Roman Catholics in Chile are organizing a boycott against film festival screenings of Abel Ferrara's Black Out because of its explicit lesbian sex scenes featuring German Uber-model Claudia Schiffer. Jewish-American groups are also upset that the film helps us imagine the nausea-provoking, reality (I guess) of the sexual relationship between Schiffer and David Copperfield (nee' Kotkin). Oy!

"Shall Ve Kill? (dum-dum-dum) Shall ve blow them to bits-kies? Shall ve bomb? (dum-dum-dum) Ve can haff lots of fun, ya, if ve only had a gun-ya. Shall ve kill? Shall ve kill? Shall ve kill?" For those of you whose parents never took you to dinner theater, that's "Shall We Dance" from the musical The King & I, as performed by Arnold Schwarzenegger. "Huh?," you say? The rumor around Broadway is that the Austrian Alp is going to be hitting the boards in a Broadway revival of the show that made Yul Brenner's head famous. Another hit: "Getting to Broadway, trying to sing songs in English. Getting no retakes, working almost for free. Getting to Broadway, playing a lost King, It's nat'ral, Cause I am actual', A Kennedy."

Dan Haggerty is back in Grizzly Mountain, which hits theaters on Oct. 17. Well, part of him. In a story more grizzly than his most famous character's name, or his beard after three bowls of vegetable soup, Dan explains where he's been. "Three and one-half years ago, I'm on my motorcycle and I'm 1,000 feet from pulling into the driveway when in front of me a van makes a u-turn. Next thing I knew, I'm wedged underneath the van, and it tore both of my legs off, and broke my hips." Ouch! Haggerty credits his recovery to 50,000 pieces of fan mail, including a note from the Pope. In the great Hollywood tradition, divorce is the ultimate punchline. "I'd rather this pain then the pain I went through married to my first wife." Ba-dum-dum! Take my legs, please!

Don't forget to email me when something hits your hot button.

Posted by THB Archive at 10:26 AM |

September 24, 1997

Manhattan is Looking Pretty Dangerous These Days

In the last week, Fox 2000 paid $3 million for The Cobra Event, a story about a killer who releases a deadly virus in Manhattan and the female pathologist who fights the airborne virus and catches the murderer. And Miramax Films purchased So Shoot Me, a comedy about two club-hopping hedonists, Kat and Kitten, who find happiness by catching the Supermodel Serial Killer of Manhattan. As though a virus could survive the New York air or kill a Supermodel.

The U.S. Postal Service has announced that Dracula, The Mummy, The Wolf Man, The Phantom of the Opera and The Frankenstein Monster will all be seen on stamps, starting Oct. 1. In Los Angeles, long-jaded to movie monsters, the classic creatures will be replaced by Christian Slater, The Implant, Charlie Sheen, The Phantom of The Mini-Mall and Steven Seagal, the bolt-knecked monster raised from obscurity by Dr. Michael Ovitz.

Producer Jason Kliot says he's obtained access to shoot a film in Vietnam for the first time since the war. Three Seasons is expected to shoot in Nam in late October with Harvey Keitel as the star. The Vietnamese may not understand why a story about a naked pianist who seduces mute women, cleans up after hit men who screw up and grunts a lot, set in Brooklyn, New York, has to shoot in Vietnam. Huh? It's not about that? It's about a G.I. who returns to Vietnam in search of a daughter born out of a liaison with a Vietnamese woman? Oh well. I bet Harvey still grunts a lot.

E-Mail Dave with the issues that get your button hot!

Posted by THB Archive at 06:59 PM |

September 09, 1997

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES

Elle "The Body" Macpherson recently complained, "Modeling does not train you in any way, shape or form to be an actor." We noticed, Elle. Fortunately it does prepare you for lying (her recent claims that she wasn't pregnant), humiliation (her turn in Batman & Robin) and full-frontal nudity (Sirens).

Quentin Tarantino recently singled out Ralph Meeker as the actor whose career he would most like to resurrect. His excuse for not doing so? Meeker is dead. Even so, Tarantino complained that by the end Meeker had been reduced to a low-rent appearance in 1977's Hi-Riders. Interestingly enough, the director of that film, Greydon Clark, was a pre-QT hirer of burnt-out stars. For 1980's Without Warning, Clark hired Meeker, a pre-City Slickers Jack Palance and a pre-Tucker Martin Landau and gave work to a pre-NYPD Blue David Caruso. Another late-in-the-game Meeker employer, director William Richert, was also QT before QT was cool. For Winter Kills (1979), an anarchic thriller, Richert hired Meeker, Richard Boone, Sterling Hayden, John Huston, Dorothy Malone, Toshiro Mifune, Anthony Perkins and featured Elizabeth Taylor in an uncredited cameo. Quentin is still one of Hollywood's best and still has never done anything that someone else didn't do first.

Speaking of Caruso, Freckle Boy "got real" with People this week, claiming that his NYPD Blue tantrums were misunderstood. "Sometimes I appeared angry, but I was just trying to summon the energy to do the take," he said. Ahhhhh. So, in Kiss of Death, when he appeared stiff and untalented, he was only trying to make Nicolas Cage look good. And while shooting Jade, he sometimes appeared megalomaniacal, but was only trying to get really lean corned beef for lunch. Now we get it.

Posted by THB Archive at 01:23 PM |

September 08, 1997

Steven Seagal, John Cusack

Steven Seagal, America's favorite Talentless-Clint-Eastwood-
Imitator-with-a Bowling Ball-In-His-Gut, took the top box office spot with a Fire Down Below without even hitting the $10 million mark ($6.1 million bucks). Just last weekend, even adjusting with kindness for the three-day weekend, Seagal would have been number five on the box office chart behind week two veterans G.I. Jane and Money Talks, Air Force One's week six and Hoodlum's opening. And Whispering Ponytail Man would be in a fight even for spot five, with week four of Conspiracy Theory and box-office juggernaut Excess Baggage putting up similar numbers. Then again, what do you expect from a guy who kicks when he fights?

John Cusack is making the air controller comedy Pushing Tin with Four Weddings And A Funeral director Mike Newell. No truth to rumors that studio heads are trying to use their previous hits to their P.R. advantage by calling it Four Air Disasters and a Competition or Grosse Pointe Air Space.

Also, Cusack is developing a sequel to Grosse Pointe Blank, the hit film about a slacker hitman who wants to win back his ex-girlfriend. And he and Newell are developing the Nick Hornby bestseller High Fidelity, which the Reuters wire calls "the story of a slacker who owns a record store and wants to win back his ex-girlfriend." Cusack's resume includes The Real Thing (Slacker Crosses Country For Girl), Eight Men Out (Slacker Plays Baseball), Say Anything (Slacker Obsesses On Ione Skye), The Road To Wellville (Slacker Tries To Make Corn Flakes) and Con Air (Slacker Becomes Action Hero). No wonder they call him Mr. Originality!

Posted by THB Archive at 01:18 PM |

September 04, 1997

Clooney on South Park

GEORGE CLOONEY IS A FLEA-RIDDEN HOMOSEXUAL!
Calm yourselves, everyone. George is just guest voicing on Comedy Central's South Park as Sparky, a male dog who comes out of the closet when he discovers that life's a bitch and so is he. Normally, The Hot Button doesn't cover TV, but who could resist writing that headline?

SWM JOURNALIST SEEKS STRUEDEL
German filmmaker Eckhart Schmidt will try to answer some of the questions about cyber-lust in Internet Love, his low budget, Mike Leigh-style project which starts shooting in L.A. next month. It's the story of a Los Angeles journalist who falls for a German actress after exchanging Internet bon mots. Aspiring actresses can email me their photos and resumes at ladave@pacbell.net No stalkers, please. (And if you really want to know why you shouldn't do that, read The Rules: L.A..

SEAGAL SEEKS FRIENDS
The press release tells the tale. To quote: "Steven Seagal, star/producer of eco-thriller (or is that ego-thriller?) Fire Down Below, will perform with his band after the premiere. Seagal will be joined by his co-stars Ed Bruce, Mark Collie, Patsy Lynn, Peggy Lynn, Harry Dean Stanton and Randy Travis." Gee, I wonder what happened to his co-stars, Marg Helgenberger, Stephen Lang and Kris Kristofferson? Could they be afraid that their co-star is... Satan?! For more of why Steven is so popular, check out 5 Reasons why Steven Seagal is so Popular from our friends at Black Belt Magazine. Haaaaaa-ya!

Posted by THB Archive at 01:08 PM |

August 30, 1997

What's Labor Day all about? Theme-itis hits The Hot Button!

GOING INTO LABOR
Oliver Stone's novel, A Child's Night Dream, will hit bookshelves soon. Stone says that the story, about someone named Oliver Stone, is not autobiographical. Let's hope not. He writes about he and mom being "entwined like snakes of desire..." And of dad? "I hate you, I've hated you from the day I was born!... I'd like to kill you." Come on, Ollie, light that fire!

LABOR PROBLEMS
WGA West presidential candidate Lynn Roth on unfairness to screenwriters: "They wind up writing a first draft, second draft, studio draft, network draft, director draft, actor draft," she said. "Same pay, too many drafts." As usual, the most important draft is forgotten. The good one.

WORKING STIFFS

Vivid Video had its first-ever critics screening recently, promoting it's latest opus, the XXX rated, Bad Wives. Vivid deleted all the sex scenes in order to emphasize the storylines, plots and dialogue. They also went mainstream with their lavish Hollywood after-party, featuring whore d'oeuvres, music by Axel Hose and 25 cent actress rides.

THAT JERRY LEWIS WEEKEND
The spirit of Jerry lives in Hollywood. Someone is actually going to produce a movie called Flying Tigers vs. Flying Saucers, about the WWII Flying Tigers' attempts to shoot down a Nazi-recovered alien spacecraft carrying Adolf Hitler. No word on whether Jerry will make this a sequel to his infamous The Day The Clown Cried, about a clown in a concentration camp. Hey Naaaaazzziiiii!


Posted by THB Archive at 12:04 PM |

August 28, 1997

Geena Davis Filed for Divorce

Geena Davis filed for divorce Tuesday from Finnish director Renny Harlin. Her next relationship, uh, I mean, role, is not yet set.

Kim Basinger appeared in Albuquerque, NM, railing against flawed animal welfare laws. "These animals are kept in horrific conditions. They're dragged around cities, suffering in the name of entertainment," she said. The 50 reporters flown in for the event were fed miniature Snickers and coffee as they waited without bathroom access for two hours in a 10 foot square press pen, whose boundaries were enforced by four armed security guards, anticipating Ms. Basinger's two minute appearance ("No questions, please."). No injuries were reported.

Kathie Lee Gifford's son Cody appeared this week on her morning TV show, adorably engaging viewers with his distaste for Sabrina, unhappy that Harrison Ford portrayed "a kissy man." His dimples deepened coyly as he also stated a distaste for publications in which his father, Frank Gifford, portrayed "an unfaithful, over-the-hill oral-sexy man."

Christian Slater is set for Very Bad Things, a film about
a bachelor party that gets out of hand when a guest kills a hooker.
The film offers Slater a chance to share one of the important life lessons he's picked up in rehab: It just ain't a party `til someone kills a hooker.


For more of David Poland's work, check out Whole
Picture.

Posted by THB Archive at 11:54 AM |

August 27, 1997

Future Projects

Steven Seagal, musician, (are you laughing yet?) is doing a Fire Down Below blues music tour, inspired by his latest film. Unfortunately for stud boy Seagal, he hasn't seen anything "down below" since his "pregnancy" -- apparently, he's having triplets. Now if only Warner Bros. can get Brando's Apocalypse Now cinematographer to light him for the press junket.

"I Dream Of Jeannie" is coming to the big screen with either Lisa Kudrow or Cameron Diaz. Whose navel would you pay to watch for 2 hours? Hello. Hello! Get that sick grin off your face, you lowlife!

Jeff Katzenberg has used his $250 million unemployment claim (a.k.a. lawsuit) against Disney to get an early look at the first draft of Michael Eisner's as yet unpublished autobiography. Lucky guy. Page 782: "...after all that, I still graduated elementary school with honors, but more on that later."

Fargo star Steve Buscemi recently directed a series of commercial spots for Nike and the WNBA. Production was delayed when producers underestimated how much basketball player a wood chipper could chip if a wood chipper could chip basketball players. (Answer: seven minutes a foot)

Posted by THB Archive at 11:48 AM |

August 26, 1997

From the Sometimes A Cigar Is Just A Cigar Dept.

Jim Belushi, Peter Weller and David Caruso have committed to James Orr's Blowing Smoke, a cigar club Swingers for the over-40 set. If cigars are a symbol of career virility, maybe these three should be sucking on Virginia Slims.

Quentin Tarantino's heading for Broadway. I'm sure he'll kill them. literally. Maybe he'll end up doing the Pulp Fiction musical, Royale With Cheese. I can hear the first song now...

"Hitmen, heroin, sodomy/ Scenes not in order like they're s'posed to be/ Career resurrections everywhere you see/ Royale With Cheese. Royale With Cheese..."

Warren Beatty is being sued for $425,000 by screenwriter Aaron "A Few Good Men" Sorkin. Beatty kicked him off "Bulworth" because, Sorkin's suit claims, Beatty has "irrational, incomprehensible, and unwarranted personal animus and hostile feelings toward Sorkin." If you think he hates you now, try being a camera without any soft focus Vaseline on your lens, Aaron!

Buzz is that the location for the upcoming Superman's Metropolis will be none other than Pittsburgh, PA. I guess Tim Burton's vision has Supes as the Man Of Bankrupt Steel.

Posted by THB Archive at 11:43 AM |